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I've been friendly with a 21 year old since I moved here. She works at a store I go to and was one of the first ''Friends'' I had when I moved here. When I say friend, our ''Friendship'' doesn't go beyond and has never went beyond interacting when I come into the establishment she works at and being friends on social media. We've seen each other out a few times and have said hi and that's it.
She's really beyond immature and I'm 34 and act like I'm 19, but she's 21 and acts like what I remember 13 or 14 year old's acting like when I was that age. Some of the things she gossips about are just incredibly juvenile. I remember when day she told me ''I'm terrible! Some old ***** was in here and told me my prom pictures were ugly! Can you believe this old lady said that?'' and while she was telling me about it, she was talking obnoxiously loud like she wanted the entire store to hear it and then posted a social media status about it later that day.
On the flip side, there's some 21 year old's that are more mature than myself, so obviously there's no rule here.
There's this girl I'm interested in who I just recently found out was 21 (just turned 21). I'm 28 turning 29 in July. Is this too much of an age gap?
No. follow your heart! But understands once she becomes a grown woman...through much life experience she may want to go off and do her own thing, realize what she wants in a guy etc..when I was 20 I had my first serious bf, he was 30. When I turned 25 I was changing and he didn't even recongnize me anymore. So just remember that. However, don't let that discourage you...my mom met my dad when she wasn't quiet 17, he was 23 and still happily together .
Well, OK, then... if wanting to keep some of my actions, opinions, thoughts, and feelings private is wrong, I don't want to be right. Because in a relationship, you never know when sharing something can trigger a very angry reaction. Do I want to risk it? Hell no!
"If she likes you, and if you get a jolt from being around her...then you should date"
Seriously, you're an adult and should know by now what it feels like to be attracted to somebody else and what it is to be happy; if you know it's there and willingly pass it up, then you're an idiot. I mean hey, you can always go find somebody who's older that does absolutely nothing for you and sit around patting yourself on the back for "dating a swell girl who's my own age...you know, because old Mr. McGregor down the street would approve". Yeah, because your life and happiness comes from what other people think and not what you feel
"If she likes you, and if you get a jolt from being around her...then you should date"
I think this quote does an awesome job at summarizing the process of looking for a date/partner (at least the men's side of it).
Especially considering that the chronological age isn't always reflective of the mental age. Like me, for instance. I'm 33, which isn't too far from becoming an old fart . But my mindset is more like mid 20's: I want to go out, have fun, and eschew the stereotypical suburban living, all while being more mature about it than your average college student. So the women who'd be the best fit for me are in mid 20's, rather than early 30's, my chronological age.
"If she likes you, and if you get a jolt from being around her...then you should date"
Seriously, you're an adult and should know by now what it feels like to be attracted to somebody else and what it is to be happy; if you know it's there and willingly pass it up, then you're an idiot. I mean hey, you can always go find somebody who's older that does absolutely nothing for you and sit around patting yourself on the back for "dating a swell girl who's my own age...you know, because old Mr. McGregor down the street would approve". Yeah, because your life and happiness comes from what other people think and not what you feel
Don't avoid the obvious and just stop.
Yeah, you are right. I'm definitely going to try and go for it. Who cares what others think about age gaps.
No. follow your heart! But understands once she becomes a grown woman...through much life experience she may want to go off and do her own thing, realize what she wants in a guy etc..when I was 20 I had my first serious bf, he was 30. When I turned 25 I was changing and he didn't even recongnize me anymore. So just remember that. However, don't let that discourage you...my mom met my dad when she wasn't quiet 17, he was 23 and still happily together .
did you stop going out because of how much you changed? I mean, let's say he was 20 instead of 30, would that have made any difference?
I've been friendly with a 21 year old since I moved here. She works at a store I go to and was one of the first ''Friends'' I had when I moved here. When I say friend, our ''Friendship'' doesn't go beyond and has never went beyond interacting when I come into the establishment she works at and being friends on social media. We've seen each other out a few times and have said hi and that's it.
She's really beyond immature and I'm 34 and act like I'm 19, but she's 21 and acts like what I remember 13 or 14 year old's acting like when I was that age. Some of the things she gossips about are just incredibly juvenile. I remember when day she told me ''I'm terrible! Some old ***** was in here and told me my prom pictures were ugly! Can you believe this old lady said that?'' and while she was telling me about it, she was talking obnoxiously loud like she wanted the entire store to hear it and then posted a social media status about it later that day.
On the flip side, there's some 21 year old's that are more mature than myself, so obviously there's no rule here.
did you not ask her out because you felt she was too young, or too immature?
Yeah, you are right. I'm definitely going to try and go for it. Who cares what others think about age gaps.
Good. If it works, then stick with it and be happy; if it doesn't work, then think of it as being more about the two of you as individuals as opposed to the fall-out of age gap problems. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with early to mid-twenties dating late twenties to early thirties. You're at a nice time in life where you can both date up or down when it comes to age and have tons of options, so don't psych yourself out or overthink too much.
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.
. But my mindset is more like mid 20's: I want to go out, have fun, and eschew the stereotypical suburban living, all while being more mature about it than your average college student. So the women who'd be the best fit for me are in mid 20's, rather than early 30's, my chronological age.
