Guy Takes Weeks to Reply (dating, married, women, sex)
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I have been talking to this guy online for almost 2 months. He is educated, has a good job, and seems to be all around a nice guy.
He used to reply to my messages within 24 hours, sometimes even faster in the beginning. Then he asked me if I wanted to meet him. I replied that I sure wanted to, and that's when things changed. He didn't reply to my message for a week. Then replied that he was busy that weekend and had to work. The next week, he delayed things by saying that he wasn't sure if he had to go to work that weekend. I was out of town the next weekend. We almost made a plan to meet the Saturday after that, but he didn't reply to my last message for days. He finally replied on the Saturday afternoon, and I was a too upset with him for delaying his response for 3-4 days to go out with him that night.
Finally, we managed to meet 5 weeks after we started chatting. After the date, I sent him another message (I gave him my phone number, he never gave me his) and told him I liked meeting him. He replied and we chatted about pretty much nothing for another 2 weeks, during which he replied almost every day. After 2 weeks, he finally asked me if I wanted to meet again. I replied that I was free the next weekend. This was on a Tuesday. He didn't reply for a whole week. When he finally did the next Tuesday, his reason was that his brother was visiting him and he was busy. I get that he was busy, but I'm pretty sure he could find 2 minutes to reply to my message and say that his brother was in town, and he'll get in touch with me in a few days. Now he is asking if I'm free Friday night.
I'm kind of tired of his game. I can't figure out why he is doing this. If he is interested, why sometimes it takes him weeks to reply to a message? If he is not interested, why does he ask me out? I'm tired of checking me emails 500 times a day to see if he has finally replied to my message, but he seems like a nice guy and I don't get to meet nice guys often. What should I do?
In my experience, if a guy wants to see you, he will make the time to see you. At the very least, he will mention that he's busy and set up a date for when he's not ("smk8237, I am really busy this week but how about next week Tuesday, 7pm at Red Lobster?").
He will not ignore you for a week just to then resume small talk through texting without trying to firm up plans to meet. I think he is doing just enough to keep you on the hook but he's dating other women he is more interested in. I would move on, unless you don't mind being the backup girl.
I think you already know the answer to this, but just need confirmation.
He's simply NOT into you, or at least in the way you want. If he was, it wouldn't sometimes take him weeks to reply to a message, and would have wanted a 2nd date as soon as possible.
He's also more than likely talking to other girls as well, and keeping you in the backburner/as a backup option.
I think you already know the answer to this, but just need confirmation.
He's simply NOT into you, or at least in the way you want. If he was, it wouldn't sometimes take him weeks to reply to a message, and would have wanted a 2nd date as soon as possible.
He's also more than likely talking to other girls as well, and keeping you in the backburner/as a backup option.
There's nothing wrong with seeing somebody occasionally to see how things go but it sounds like you're putting all your eggs in this one basket and it will just frustrate you.
Hope your "dates" weren't sex based. If they were, we can all tell you what the main problem is.
OP - you need to be meeting and dating many guys at once to avoid investing so much into a guy who isn't so into you.
I'm also a fan of "put up or shut up". Texting randomly often or even sparingly keeps you on the hook but has little value ( I consider it the junk food of dating; pleasant superficially but leaves you starving for nourishment). If there is no actual plan and action then cut bait. Unless you like frequent shallow attention you will forever be reaching for the carrot dangling - only to have it snatched away when you get close. This is crazy making, there is an actual science behind it.
First and foremost: Live your life and enjoy it, do not make a man you barely know take so much away for it for nothing in return. You are worth more than that and you know it.
I'm not sure why you are bothering with this. If he is interested, he will come to you. Stop messaging him and waiting for replies. Date other guys. It sounds like he isn't all that interested, and you really should just wait for him to come to you. Why women chase men who clearly aren't all that interested is beyond me. There are lots of men out there. Stop investing so much in someone who isn't investing back. And for goodness sakes stop sending him messages!!!! If he wants to talk to you, he knows where to find you.
Stop analyzing so much, it's pretty straightforward.
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