He said he doesn't want a relationship but he still flirt with me (woman, separate)

[Londoncowboy30]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

Is that actually what you said in the text?

Hahahaha my thoughts exactly! LOL

I'm eagerly awaiting her next thread .... " Why is he so mean to me after being so nice before? "

[carnivalday]

The problem isnt him, the problem is you. You are from a different country, a different culture, and your complaining about how someone here is treating you. Its not his issue to change how he is acting, its yours.

[ChiGal7]

I agree that this could be a cultural misunderstanding. Just because he's treating you kindly and being friendly doesn't mean he wants to date you. Believe it or not, there are still men out there who will be kind to women with no alterior motives. I know, very hard to believe but it's true. And since this guy has been abundantly clear in his words to you that he wants to keep your relationship professional, then that's even further proof to you that he's not interested in you romantically, he's just a kind person trying to be helpful.

[tinainthemirror]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

Is that actually what you said in the text?

No this is how we talked:

ME: Hi [that person], I am dying of over thinking, do you have time to talk to me right now. You know it won't be anything out site what you told me should be, but still everything is wired. I feel we should talk in order to make everything normal. While I don't want to be like intense everyday.

I don't feel good to talk about this in person, too wierd for me, but I feel better if we talk here
let me know if you want to.
[that person]:Yeah, sure
Me: Ok great thanks
I want to first say thank you. for anything. you are great, you know you are, patient too much with everyone, and me
I feel you understood that I am not from thsi culture and also you tried to be as nice as possible.
I did send you a letter in October, the main point that I sent that was to let you know, that you are too nice to me, and I develope feeling for you, even though I knew it is more your charactor
[that person]: Ok
Me: But I wanted to think the other way, I told you to let you know. I am not from your culture, while I am doing anything to understand your culture, and not to behave inappropriate to you (I know I did some actions in last year to you that I shouldn’t, but I was struggling to understand you and this culture.

All I did was trying to not doing something wrong, I don't know how many of them actually considered wrong.
I don't feel you judge me, that is a good feeling.
I told you in the letter in October that you should understand me, I am not like your friends or other, I didn’t grow up here. I am trying to act cool and understand, it just backfire the other way
You have a nice and kind personality
and this is good that you are trying to keep it that way, and god world needs more like you, many many more
But
maybe
you shouldn't try to be so nice to me. Maybe it is for best
i mean last week it didn't happen taht often mostly because I even didn't have eye contact with you.
I am not like you or any one.
Maybe , you shouldn't compliment in my cloths, or telling me so nice things, or make sure I understand if you guys went to lunch without me
I don't know maybe this is too wierd I am asking you, but these behaviour were the once that actually lead me into "you think about me more than something"
I know I am doing it too, but because I don't want to be disrespectful to you
[that person]: Ok, I'll try not to do those things
Me: Thanks, I don't want we be too mean to each other, not at all, I want to be able to ask you, and I need your guidance on so many things. But treat me the way other guys in ORS treat me. I'd rather we just keep things strictly business, as you asked, so I don't think otherwise.
[that person]:Ok, I'll try.
Me: Anything you need me to do? or am i doing something that bothers you as well?
[that person]: No, I don't need anything from you
Me: I am really sorry if I cause you any problem. and thank you.
[that person]: Sure. Have a good night

[tinainthemirror]

And yes, I know how many grammatically problem I have

[tinainthemirror]

Originally Posted by ChiGal7

I agree that this could be a cultural misunderstanding. Just because he's treating you kindly and being friendly doesn't mean he wants to date you. Believe it or not, there are still men out there who will be kind to women with no alterior motives. I know, very hard to believe but it's true. And since this guy has been abundantly clear in his words to you that he wants to keep your relationship professional, then that's even further proof to you that he's not interested in you romantically, he's just a kind person trying to be helpful.

He already knows these behavior in my situation cause me to develop feeling for him. I am alone, and I like someone care about me.

If he wants we be co worker, he should act like one.

[tinainthemirror]

Originally Posted by carnivalday

The problem isnt him, the problem is you. You are from a different country, a different culture, and your complaining about how someone here is treating you. Its not his issue to change how he is acting, its yours.

Exactly, we are from different culture. But seriously, I haven't seen any guy in this office compliment on my cloths, or hair style.
Yes, we became friend over past year, but I can't think of him as friend.

He should understand. I can't turn off my feeling, and I don't want to be mean fro no reason, he should undeerstand, and thankfully he did. I know this makes my life harder here in office, but being realistic is much better than going in dreams, and hope one day he tells me he loves me. It is too hard.

[CSD610]

OP: You are causing your own issues and that wall of text to him was not necessary.
If you cannot have a discussion face to face with something important, do not have the conversation at all.

[tinainthemirror]

Originally Posted by rego00123

If all you want is a coworker, treat him like one and do not push any self motivated situions on to him.

I hate to say it, but this is something where if you want it you're going to have to pull yourself away and probabaly never really have much personal interactions with him.

You can't help how you feel, but you can change how much influence people have over you by limiting your interactions with them.

Yes. I am trying. I can't turn off my feeling, it fade away now, but just because I stopped my interaction with him. I just had to make sure he is doing the same. I feel, he feels bad for me, I don't need his pettiness.

[tinainthemirror]

Originally Posted by CSD610

OP: You are causing your own issues and that wall of text to him was not necessary.
If you cannot have a discussion face to face with something important, do not have the conversation at all.

I feel it went well. When I have an interns conversation with someone face to face, I forgot the words.

English is too hard.