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You chose an apple but wanted it to change into a pear.
Wrong!
Move on if you can't handle it.
Oh please, you have no idea how her relationship was like before this.
Anyways. OP, do you have any friends or hobbies? Maybe you can start being around friends more or find hobbies that interest you so you don't need to depend on your husband to entertain.
But if he truly never pays attention to you, whats the point in being in the relationship. I think its time to reevaluate what you want in a partner and if your husband is not meeting your needs, I think it is time to leave him.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo775
He has no interest in sex. Doesn't even want oral or even a massage. He was like this with ex wife also. He has always been the same with gaming (and drinking)....always some sort of gaming either on his phone
or on the computer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleNicole
Oh please, you have no idea how her relationship was like before this.
Anyways. OP, do you have any friends or hobbies? Maybe you can start being around friends more or find hobbies that interest you so you don't need to depend on your husband to entertain.
But if he truly never pays attention to you, whats the point in being in the relationship. I think its time to reevaluate what you want in a partner and if your husband is not meeting your needs, I think it is time to leave him.
OP said he's always been like this. I can't say I sympathize, OP knew who this dude was and she chose to ignore it.
I'm not asking for sympathy. At this point I'm at the "Can't live with him can't live without him". Something we have fun times when he is in a good mood. If I completely ignore him he can't handle it and acts all nice but it doesn't last. We've been together 10 years. Married 7. At this point what am I supposed to do? I'm 42, not that easy to find a man that is right for me. I find most people unappealing unfortunately (I'm used to my husband and I knew him in HS when he was very good looking). Wish I could afford to pay for our house on my own.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,031,370 times
Reputation: 3911
Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo775
I'm not asking for sympathy. At this point I'm at the "Can't live with him can't live without him". Something we have fun times when he is in a good mood. If I completely ignore him he can't handle it and acts all nice but it doesn't last. We've been together 10 years. Married 7. At this point what am I supposed to do? I'm 42, not that easy to find a man that is right for me. I find most people unappealing unfortunately (I'm used to my husband and I knew him in HS when he was very good looking). Wish I could afford to pay for our house on my own.
So is he right for you? You know i were a size 7-8 in high school but i dont expect a partner to use that as a reason to be involved with me at a size 12. Its kind of like bragging that your partner is an ex millionaire so who just up and leaves a partner who used to own a mansion even though a trailer is the current house. I was with you till this post.
Gaming and drinking beer as soon as he gets home from work until he goes to bed? Takes a break to eat dinner (unless beer is his dinner). Also anytime we are home on weekends he is on the computer. Hardly will walk our dog or enjoy the weather etc....he is 45 and has always been a gamer but I'm getting very tired of this. I can't even have a conversation with him because he can't listen since he is always in a "battle" on the game or something. He can't even watch a movie with me without playing. Would you tolerate it? I've tried to talk to him but he won't change. He knows it bothers me but doesn't want to change.
Why did you marry him?
Yeah that's not anything I would be interested in.
He has no interest in sex. Doesn't even want oral or even a massage. He was like this with ex wife also. He has always been the same with gaming (and drinking)....always some sort of gaming either on his phone
or on the computer.
You say he always has been into the gaming and drinking but may I ask if was it as much as he does now when you first got together or has he gotten worse and less attentive towards you over time?
I was 32, married for 7 years, and left my wife! You can easily do the same at 42, or face more endless misery. He will not change, and you will not change him! In my first marriage, my wife was more interested in friends/family, and hanging out with them! I found someone else quickly, and have been happily married for 13 years, I have prospered, and have grown as a person ever since! She now lives happily with 4 cats after a failed 1 year marriage with an abusive alcoholic. She will NEVER find another one like me, or anyone else for that matter!
I'm not asking for sympathy. At this point I'm at the "Can't live with him can't live without him". Something we have fun times when he is in a good mood. If I completely ignore him he can't handle it and acts all nice but it doesn't last. We've been together 10 years. Married 7. At this point what am I supposed to do? I'm 42, not that easy to find a man that is right for me. I find most people unappealing unfortunately (I'm used to my husband and I knew him in HS when he was very good looking). Wish I could afford to pay for our house on my own.
You're considering staying with a guy who ignores you, because he used to be good-looking?
You're 42--a great age to be out circulating. Lots of people "find most people unappealing", yet, with patience, they still find someone eventually. Are you saying your husband, who had no interest in you whatsoever, is appealing?
If you're ok with 40-50 more years of what you have now, go for it. That sounds pretty bleak to me, though. Being alone would be preferable.
I never said I am with him because he used to be good looking. Why do people completely twist what I say? I meant I've known him many years and was attracted to him at one time (not grossed out by him now, just indifferent) so I'm used to him. I was trying to make a point as to why I find most people unappealing but he appealed to me....it's because he was one of the first guys I really fell for and I thought it was maybe my plan to be with him. He had pretty much always been like this since we first moved in together but I guess I was just so enamored with the fact that I actually had him (after my initial infatuations when I was a teen)....I overlooked it.
Well, you're in a predicament. Maybe play U2's with or without you on blast while he is gaming? I mean, you don't like he's addicted to gaming which actually I think is less of of the other form of addiction, ya know?
But is afraid to be alone and think other men are yucky.
Yeah, I can't help you. Enjoy the U2 song though.
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Oh please, you have no idea how her relationship was like before this.
