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I've suspected for two years but only went though his phone in March. Those were the texts I found that were suspicious, most were work related and those that weren't were innocent. I know I need to confront him before I go insane but how? Neither of us does well with confrontation. When I do he usually stops talking to me for days.
You act like he has the power. WRONG. YOU are the one with the power in this situation. YOU need to tell him to put a stop to this if he wants to stay married. He is in the wrong, not you. Don't let him turn the situation around and make you feel guilty for snooping and sweeping his flirting under the rug.
YOU CALL THE SHOTS HERE, NOT HIM. Put your big girl panties on and tell him what you expect from him.
No more texting with her. EVER. No more bringing coffee and hanging out together in the office. STRICTLY business or you will file for divorce.
I've suspected for two years but only went though his phone in March. Those were the texts I found that were suspicious, most were work related and those that weren't were innocent. I know I need to confront him before I go insane but how? Neither of us does well with confrontation. When I do he usually stops talking to me for days.
If he's mentioned her as much as you say then you don't have to mention you've been through his phone at all
Just a " look I need to have a talk with you please as I'm rather upset about something...... You keep mentioning " her name " and it's making me feel quite upset and that I'm doing something wrong? or I'm not enough? ".....
As long as you don't go mental and steam right in if he sees it's getting to you, causing you worry, possibly making you insecure and you're genuinely upset then as your husband he should really take stock and realise what he's doing
Well, how is he acting around you? I hope this is not too personal if a question, but are you still sleeping with him?
He could just be going through a mid life crisis and using her to boost his ego?
So what?? That doesn't give him the right to do what he does. It is INACCEPTABLE. Buy a Corvette, if you must but don't boost your ego by destroying your marriage!
Since 2013 when she started working there and the last compliment he gave me things changed. No affection at all, perfunctory closed mouth kiss when he leaves for work & at bed time, he'll stay up and masturbate instead of coming to bed with me, and the sex has dropped to once every 2 weeks with no foreplay.... until recently. After he sent the texts about the shower he is more attentive in bed although still not as often as I'd like (and yes he has cialis).
I know he's attracted to her, heck I am too she's lovely and it probably is just a midlife crisis, she makes him feel young and wanted (even though I look 35 and am in good shape and would have him every day if I could). Which is why I hesitate to confront him. But this isn't going away and he's gotten bolder with his texts and now the creeping on Instagram. Sounds like a stalker movie.
You act like he has the power. WRONG. YOU are the one with the power in this situation. YOU need to tell him to put a stop to this if he wants to stay married. He is in the wrong, not you. Don't let him turn the situation around and make you feel guilty for snooping and sweeping his flirting under the rug.
YOU CALL THE SHOTS HERE, NOT HIM. Put your big girl panties on and tell him what you expect from him.
No more texting with her. EVER. No more bringing coffee and hanging out together in the office. STRICTLY business or you will file for divorce.
Yeah I would have to agree with all of this. If you have a problem with this confront him and make it right. Whether anyone else thinks what he did is inappropriate or not, you do, and that's all that matters. So let him know and tell him your expectations of him in your marriage.
I've suspected for two years but only went though his phone in March. Those were the texts I found that were suspicious, most were work related and those that weren't were innocent. I know I need to confront him before I go insane but how? Neither of us does well with confrontation. When I do he usually stops talking to me for days.
You just have to do it.
It should be uncomfortable, you're both dealing with things you do not want to deal with and things you do don't want your partner to know of one another.
It's going to be uncomfortable no matter how much comfort you push in to its delievery.
Let him shut down, let him go silent and allow him to think for himself.
Its not how he chooses to respond in that moment that will be the deciding factor in where your marriage goes, it's how he chooses to adddress the situation as a whole and the revelations that he was doing something that affected his marriage that will be the ultimate deciding factor of that.
You act like he has the power. WRONG. YOU are the one with the power in this situation. YOU need to tell him to put a stop to this if he wants to stay married. He is in the wrong, not you. Don't let him turn the situation around and make you feel guilty for snooping and sweeping his flirting under the rug.
YOU CALL THE SHOTS HERE, NOT HIM. Put your big girl panties on and tell him what you expect from him.
No more texting with her. EVER. No more bringing coffee and hanging out together in the office. STRICTLY business or you will file for divorce.
What she said^
Whatever you decide, this will eventually be front and center in your failing marriage. There's no getting around not confronting him.
Honestly, I think you might be underestimating your husband. From what I read, I figured there is something already going on.
That's flirting and when girls start talking to you like that during a text or a chat or whatever, the next thing they start talking about is sex. I don't know, maybe it's because they are comfortable.
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and it probably is just a midlife crisis, she makes him feel young and wanted (even though I look 35 and am in good shape and would have him every day if I could). Which is why I hesitate to confront him. But this isn't going away and he's gotten bolder with his texts and now the creeping on Instagram. Sounds like a stalker movie.
