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Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 674,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster
I just don't see how a man would be alright with his wife having sex with other dudes. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I hear ya. It doesn't make any sense to me either. But, as others on here have adamantly stated, people with viewpoints such as ours shouldn't wonder about things like this and we should just live and let live, which is what I do anyway. However, I'll always wonder why (seemingly) a lot of people engage in open/poly types of relationships because, well, I just can't wrap my head around the logic or reasoning behind it. IMO, it's okay to wonder about something and to question it...because this is how we learn about things.
I hear ya. It doesn't make any sense to me either. But, as others on here have adamantly stated, people with viewpoints such as ours shouldn't wonder about things like this
I don't have any problem with wondering about it. To the degree I care what anyone says on the internet, which is not a lot, I am not a fan of how it gets lambasted.
As it relates to exclusivity, it is a matter of not feeling any importance around sexual ownership for me. But lack of romantic ownership is more important to my DH.
A lot of people can't really get down with being genuinely happy for their partner in THEIR own happiness. You see this not just with sexual jealousy but with people who don't want their partners engaging in hobbies with other people or spending time with other people saving family of origin. They have to be the cause of the SHARED happiness instead of being genuinely happy for the other people. Other people just weren't built with a jealousy bone.
I hear ya. It doesn't make any sense to me either. But, as others on here have adamantly stated, people with viewpoints such as ours shouldn't wonder about things like this and we should just live and let live, which is what I do anyway. However, I'll always wonder why (seemingly) a lot of people engage in open/poly types of relationships because, well, I just can't wrap my head around the logic or reasoning behind it. IMO, it's okay to wonder about something and to question it...because this is how we learn about things.
Where has anyone adamantly stated you shouldn't wonder about anything? I haven't seen that. I've seen people answer your questions, say things like if it doesn't work for you, don't do it, nobody is forcing you to live a certain way or foisting some new, sick, crazy lifestyle on anybody. But I've not seen anyone saying you have no right to ask questions, state opinions, etc.
I'm beginning to think a lot of this has to do with imagined Christian persecution complex nonsense.
This let's me know that I'm on the right track and to not waver on my beliefs on this just because everyone else seems to be jumping on this bandwagon.
Why would you think any other way? Can't you think for yourself?
I don't let people tell me whether I'm right or wrong in anything I think -- it's my brain, my opinions, my way of life. I couldn't care less what other people think.
Where has anyone adamantly stated you shouldn't wonder about anything? I haven't seen that. I've seen people answer your questions, say things like if it doesn't work for you, don't do it, nobody is forcing you to live a certain way or foisting some new, sick, crazy lifestyle on anybody. But I've not seen anyone saying you have no right to ask questions, state opinions, etc.
I'm beginning to think a lot of this has to do with imagined Christian persecution complex nonsense.
Griffis, here's the thing though. If your wife abided by the words of Christ which of course is the basis of Christianity, she wouldn't be currently taking advantage of you and contributing to your misery.
Without a foundation, the entire house will crumble. I can say even for myself when I think of being selfish or when I am in the process of seeking out self-gratification, I stop myself and remind myself that life isn't about me, and that there are no free passes.
Jesus is all about laugh now, cry later. A lot of people unfamiliar with the Gospel don't realize this.
Griffis, here's the thing though. If your wife abided by the words of Christ which of course is the basis of Christianity, she wouldn't be currently taking advantage of you and contributing to your misery.
I can readily admit that rejection of anything to do with christianity and the nonsense that it spews contributes heavily to my husband and my very happy marriage.
I hear ya. It doesn't make any sense to me either. But, as others on here have adamantly stated, people with viewpoints such as ours shouldn't wonder about things like this and we should just live and let live, which is what I do anyway. However, I'll always wonder why (seemingly) a lot of people engage in open/poly types of relationships because, well, I just can't wrap my head around the logic or reasoning behind it. IMO, it's okay to wonder about something and to question it...because this is how we learn about things.
Well, I don't think "a lot" of people are living in open relationships. It's a titillating topic and as this thread demonstrates, not many people have no feelings about it. So it gets a lot of attention.
As far of the logic goes, some people consider the possibilities and conclude that the benefit of being "open" is considerably greater than the cost. Most poly people I've read about and the few I've encountered admit that there is a cost, like insecurity and misunderstandings, but they see those as challenges to overcome and not reasons to be with just one person. And sometimes they can't be overcome. But anyway, the logic is that some people consider the benefit of having more close, and yes, sexual relationships to be greater than that cost.
I can readily admit that rejection of anything to do with christianity and the nonsense that it spews contributes heavily to my husband and my very happy marriage.
What nonsense does it spew?
Would challenge you to find a better system for morality than what Christ spoke. I believe if people 100% followed the words of Christ, they would do the least amount of harm and greatest benefit to society.
Unfortunately, Christianity is only as strong as its weakest link.
I mean, take your lifestyle for example. Perhaps, one of the partners that engages in sexual activity with you has a significant other that is unaware of what is going on, but due to your lifestyle choices, they are no involved.
Who knows, maybe they are not down with the lifestyle, so they decide to beat your husband down to the point of hospitalization. If you were practicing Christianity as taught by Christ, the chances of this occurring would be for all intents and purposes, nil.
I don't understand why you have to refer to Christianity as nonsense. You know just as much about the afterlife as I do.
Well, I don't think "a lot" of people are living in open relationships. It's a titillating topic and as this thread demonstrates, not many people have no feelings about it. So it gets a lot of attention.
As far of the logic goes, some people consider the possibilities and conclude that the benefit of being "open" is considerably greater than the cost. Most poly people I've read about and the few I've encountered admit that there is a cost, like insecurity and misunderstandings, but they see those as challenges to overcome and not reasons to be with just one person.
The overcoming of them itself is an asset and benefit that outweighs the cost.
This is a decent description of part of it.
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But, as others on here have adamantly stated, people with viewpoints such as ours shouldn't wonder about things like this and we should just live and let live, which is what I do anyway. However, I'll always wonder why (seemingly) a lot of people engage in open/poly types of relationships because, well, I just can't wrap my head around the logic or reasoning behind it. IMO, it's okay to wonder about something and to question it...because this is how we learn about things.