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There's genuine curiosity, and then there's "curiosity" masked as judgment. A heaping amount of judgment. Feigning curiosity and innocence or, rather, naivete, doesn't make it any less assholish. I can be curious about a number of things that I may not take personal interest in, and yet somehow reserve harsh judgment if it doesn't affect me or otherwise break the Silver Rule.
And a grown adult that seeks regular validation for their life choices, from strangers no less, is quite puzzling.
Griffis, here's the thing though. If your wife abided by the words of Christ which of course is the basis of Christianity, she wouldn't be currently taking advantage of you and contributing to your misery.
Without a foundation, the entire house will crumble. I can say even for myself when I think of being selfish or when I am in the process of seeking out self-gratification, I stop myself and remind myself that life isn't about me, and that there are no free passes.
Jesus is all about laugh now, cry later. A lot of people unfamiliar with the Gospel don't realize this.
Or, they just don't care. Just like you don't fret about what Baal or Zeus command.
I find a lot of worth in many of the words attributed to Jesus. However a great many of his alleged sayings are not original to Jesus or what came to be known as Christian doctrine.
And many of his GOOD real or alleged sayings are ignored in favor of the more hateful ones. My religious upbringing recalls something like why are you worried about the splinter in your neighbor's eye when you have a 2x4 in your own. Of course they didn't have 2x4s.
Why would you think any other way? Can't you think for yourself?
I don't let people tell me whether I'm right or wrong in anything I think -- it's my brain, my opinions, my way of life. I couldn't care less what other people think.
Perhaps OP is very young? There's a lot of insecurity showing here & a deep need for approval & validation.
We all need validation in life, but as a mature adult, like you I can form my own opinions & not care what anyone else says or think. I know what's right for me. I also know that what's right for me may change from time to time & adjust accordingly. I do not need to seek approval from others.
But when I was in my 20's & I was far more strident & indignant of choices I didn't agree with. While I probably didn't insult people to their faces, when I disagreed with them, I did behind their backs. Now, in my 50's, I see that everyone is doing the best they can & doing what's right for them & that I have no right to judge others or insult them. It didn't take til my 50's, but I'm starting to think that OP is very, very young & reading between her lines is showing me something quite different than what I originally saw.
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I'm not even trying to advocate for "alternative lifestyles"; just the pursuit of fair disagreement and discourse LOL.
Believe it or not, neither am I. I think if it's for you great, if it's not for you, great. I only shared my situation in the other thread, b/c I was suckered into thinking OP was genuinely interested in learning. It became quickly clear that that wasn't true & her interest was only in judging & allowing herself to feel superior. I outgrew that in my 20s.
There's genuine curiosity, and then there's "curiosity" masked as judgment. A heaping amount of judgment. Feigning curiosity and innocence or, rather, naivete, doesn't make it any less assholish. I can be curious about a number of things that I may not take personal interest in, and yet somehow reserve harsh judgment if it doesn't affect me or otherwise break the Silver Rule.
And a grown adult that seeks regular validation for their life choices, from strangers no less, is quite puzzling.
Obviously I agree completely, as usual, you said it better than I did. I'm starting to think that OP is very, very young, along with the insecurity that goes along with that. Anyway, what is the "silver rule"? Just curious, as I've never heard that term.
There's genuine curiosity, and then there's "curiosity" masked as judgment. A heaping amount of judgment. Feigning curiosity and innocence or, rather, naivete, doesn't make it any less assholish. I can be curious about a number of things that I may not take personal interest in, and yet somehow reserve harsh judgment if it doesn't affect me or otherwise break the Silver Rule.
And a grown adult that seeks regular validation for their life choices, from strangers no less, is quite puzzling.
Which is hard to argue with given the # of posts in this thread citing agreement for said validation.
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