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Old 06-06-2017, 04:28 PM
 
39 posts, read 49,416 times
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I've seem before a guy should never tell a girl that he is interested in her or how he fels because it comes off as cringy and makes him look weak

example"im really interested in you and would like to get dinner to see how it went and if it could lead anywhere"

is that bad to express that?
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Old 06-06-2017, 04:32 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
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not to the right person, in the right way, and right time
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Old 06-06-2017, 04:36 PM
 
747 posts, read 443,057 times
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No it isn't. But we are meant to think it is.

This has happened to me alot. When my generation was growing up, we were taught, "Never trust anybody, they're only out to hurt you". That coupled with the women's movement which was also going on at the time, led to the belief that asking a girl out was "stalking". Because I am in a wheelchair, this helped put me on the girls' "creepy" list.

Which wasn't even remotely true to be honest.

I actually have no proof that the women's movement played a part. It was just that it was that era of the 1970s and 1980s, and its difficult to see how it didn't.
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Old 06-06-2017, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,841 posts, read 13,239,564 times
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The same can be said for a woman telling a guy how she feels. It's not mutually exclusive. I've known guys who thought that when a woman told them she liked them and wanted to get to know them, they thought the women were needy and looking to get married.


There's nothing wrong with expressing how you feel. If the other person doesn't feel the same way then, oh well.
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Old 06-06-2017, 07:13 PM
 
39 posts, read 49,416 times
Reputation: 35
on one forum a lot of posters said that if a guy doe sthis it give sthe girl power

idk, i feel in todays "hook up culture" theres nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel and what you are looking for
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Old 06-06-2017, 07:57 PM
 
Location: The house I built
574 posts, read 377,219 times
Reputation: 1306
"Look, I know its just our first date, well sort of. its just lunch. But I think we could save time if we started making our wedding and honeymoon plans and I thought after lunch we would go to the sex store and buy you some sexy outfits and some toys."

"Its obvious to me we belong together. You are super hot and I like women who are super hot so lets jump with both feet."
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Old 06-06-2017, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,353,101 times
Reputation: 24251
Quote:
Originally Posted by joearnold View Post
on one forum a lot of posters said that if a guy doe sthis it give sthe girl power

idk, i feel in todays "hook up culture" theres nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel and what you are looking for
I can just imagine the happiness level of the posters saying that about "power."

I stated this recently in another post, but it's worth repeating in a different way. Quit worrying about who has the power; if another person is just using you; if you look weak, etc., etc. etc.

Quit playing games. There is always a loser in a game. If you want a girlfriend and a long term relationship, be honest. Live without fear of the BS. Yes, you might get your heart broken. But even feeling heart broken is a heck of a lot better than living in fear and trying to manipulate things. Just be who you are. Don't overthink it.

I just see so many posters on here overthinking ever little gesture, word and motivation. Just live.
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Old 06-06-2017, 08:15 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,107,978 times
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I treat sudden, unexpected outbreaks of affection as you would a flu. Keep it to yourself and don't spread the sickness around.
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Old 06-06-2017, 08:29 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,218 posts, read 107,956,787 times
Reputation: 116166
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandyHS View Post
No it isn't. But we are meant to think it is.

This has happened to me alot. When my generation was growing up, we were taught, "Never trust anybody, they're only out to hurt you". That coupled with the women's movement which was also going on at the time, led to the belief that asking a girl out was "stalking". Because I am in a wheelchair, this helped put me on the girls' "creepy" list.

Which wasn't even remotely true to be honest.

I actually have no proof that the women's movement played a part. It was just that it was that era of the 1970s and 1980s, and its difficult to see how it didn't.
I doubt that an entire generation was taught to believe that every individual everywhere was an abuser. Context, please? Are you referring to "stranger danger"? If so, you misunderstood the message, or you're deliberately misstating it here. It's about not trusting strangers, especially if they try to lure you somewhere or get too close to you, because they might hurt you. That's very different from saying everyone out there is out to hurt you, categorically, even the people passing by in the street, or the store cashiers, and everyone else out in the world.
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Old 06-06-2017, 08:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,218 posts, read 107,956,787 times
Reputation: 116166
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
I treat sudden, unexpected outbreaks of affection as you would a flu. Keep it to yourself and don't spread the sickness around.
What a sad way to live. Stuffing your feelings chronically isn't healthy at all.
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