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Old 07-04-2017, 09:47 PM
 
20 posts, read 12,833 times
Reputation: 15

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Hey everybody! Thank you very much if you're taking the time to read this. Now lets get into it. I'm an 18 year old guy who just graduated from high school and will be going to college in the fall. Back in march I started dating this girl who was a year younger than me back in march. I'll put details in bullet points...

-She agreed to hang out with me without knowing me and flirted with me despite having a boyfriend for 8 months.
-Our first day hanging out we ended up making out. She dumped her bf.
-She had a problem with smoking, drinking, and has had bouts of depression.
-She used to shoplift, and ran away from home last year.
-She was stressed very easily and it seemed like she would shut down when something annoyed her or upset her.
-I felt constantly like I needed to cheer her up.
-She's dated a ton of guys despite only being 17
-And she is also the girl I had sex with for the first time.

A few weeks ago she seemingly dropped all communication from me. I talked to her about it and she said it was because I was too sensitive and clingy. So I broke up with her. I'll admit I've always been on the sensitive side and tend the beat myself up. But being clingy I don't know about...

I guess I can't get my mind off of it. I mean she was my first time, and if you've read previous posts in the past that I haven't really been with the most loving types. But she was the first person to give me love and attention and I can't let go of that. And for once I feel like I deserve better, Im good looking, loyal, sweet, good in the sack, and I was really, really good to her.

I know I'm only 18, I know I'm about to have some of the best experiences of my life, I know I can be a good boyfriend, but why must I be so hung up over this? Thanks for reading. And happy 4th of july.
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Old 07-04-2017, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
There's something attractive about being needed, even if it's by a person you can't help.

The best thing you can do is make new memories.

This girl has issues, and you know that. You're about to have a whole new lifestyle, and you know that too.

So make a concerted effort, any time she enters your mind, to make yourself imagine your new life at college. Just force yourself to think about the future instead of that past.

Before long, you'll be there.
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Old 07-04-2017, 11:15 PM
 
3,861 posts, read 3,154,615 times
Reputation: 4237
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokokoko View Post
Hey everybody! Thank you very much if you're taking the time to read this. Now lets get into it. I'm an 18 year old guy who just graduated from high school and will be going to college in the fall. Back in march I started dating this girl who was a year younger than me back in march. I'll put details in bullet points...

-She agreed to hang out with me without knowing me and flirted with me despite having a boyfriend for 8 months.
-Our first day hanging out we ended up making out. She dumped her bf.
-She had a problem with smoking, drinking, and has had bouts of depression.
-She used to shoplift, and ran away from home last year.
-She was stressed very easily and it seemed like she would shut down when something annoyed her or upset her.
-I felt constantly like I needed to cheer her up.
-She's dated a ton of guys despite only being 17
-And she is also the girl I had sex with for the first time.

A few weeks ago she seemingly dropped all communication from me. I talked to her about it and she said it was because I was too sensitive and clingy. So I broke up with her. I'll admit I've always been on the sensitive side and tend the beat myself up. But being clingy I don't know about...

I guess I can't get my mind off of it. I mean she was my first time, and if you've read previous posts in the past that I haven't really been with the most loving types. But she was the first person to give me love and attention and I can't let go of that. And for once I feel like I deserve better, Im good looking, loyal, sweet, good in the sack, and I was really, really good to her.

I know I'm only 18, I know I'm about to have some of the best experiences of my life, I know I can be a good boyfriend, but why must I be so hung up over this? Thanks for reading. And happy 4th of july.
so, you got lucky, no strings attached, with a wild girl. Score!

Save the fairy tale, love crap you seen in the movies, read in the books, and just move on to the next challenge. take each experience as a class, and perfect your skill. life is a never ending school of learning, with trial and experience, you could be a straight A student.

As for the girl, she is obviously lost and confused, and in serious need of attention. you could remain cool with her, but do not get trapped up, she sounds like she needs some more "maturing" to do, and she is moving on with her life, you were just used for fill in, so she can feel special.

Do not take her serious, and put your emotions aside, you are not responsible for her, nor can you change her. Save your world, before you change another.
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Old 07-05-2017, 12:53 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,729,269 times
Reputation: 13170
We've all been there. Very few of us spent the rest of their lives with "her". Facing rejection and getting over it is a big part of dating. In the meantime, get out and about (don't isolate), get busy with the "other things" you like to do, and treat it like a learning experience about S..t happening. Good luck.
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Old 07-05-2017, 02:01 AM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,854,052 times
Reputation: 20030
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokokoko View Post
Hey everybody! Thank you very much if you're taking the time to read this. Now lets get into it. I'm an 18 year old guy who just graduated from high school and will be going to college in the fall. Back in march I started dating this girl who was a year younger than me back in march. I'll put details in bullet points...

-She agreed to hang out with me without knowing me and flirted with me despite having a boyfriend for 8 months.
-Our first day hanging out we ended up making out. She dumped her bf.
-She had a problem with smoking, drinking, and has had bouts of depression.
-She used to shoplift, and ran away from home last year.
-She was stressed very easily and it seemed like she would shut down when something annoyed her or upset her.
-I felt constantly like I needed to cheer her up.
-She's dated a ton of guys despite only being 17
-And she is also the girl I had sex with for the first time.

A few weeks ago she seemingly dropped all communication from me. I talked to her about it and she said it was because I was too sensitive and clingy. So I broke up with her. I'll admit I've always been on the sensitive side and tend the beat myself up. But being clingy I don't know about...

I guess I can't get my mind off of it. I mean she was my first time, and if you've read previous posts in the past that I haven't really been with the most loving types. But she was the first person to give me love and attention and I can't let go of that. And for once I feel like I deserve better, Im good looking, loyal, sweet, good in the sack, and I was really, really good to her.

I know I'm only 18, I know I'm about to have some of the best experiences of my life, I know I can be a good boyfriend, but why must I be so hung up over this? Thanks for reading. And happy 4th of july.
i would not say she gave you love, she gave you sex, she gave you attention, but not love.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
There's something attractive about being needed, even if it's by a person you can't help.

The best thing you can do is make new memories.

This girl has issues, and you know that. You're about to have a whole new lifestyle, and you know that too.

So make a concerted effort, any time she enters your mind, to make yourself imagine your new life at college. Just force yourself to think about the future instead of that past.

Before long, you'll be there.
good advice. add to that throw yourself into your new situation. going to college is a big change in lifestyle in many ways. you are going to meet many new people from around the world. you are going to experience new cultures, new ways of thinking, and you are going to be loaded down with all the initial stuff of going to a new school, even if it is in the same town or state.

in time this girl will be a semi fond memory. treasure that memory as you would any people you meet, good or bad, as you can learn something from all of them.
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Old 07-05-2017, 02:23 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,259,761 times
Reputation: 62669
I am curious how *good in the sack* you could possibly be having some experience with one girl.
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Old 07-05-2017, 02:28 AM
 
Location: Brackenwood
9,984 posts, read 5,686,999 times
Reputation: 22138
You're going to college in a couple months. Believe me, unless you're a complete social retard you'll have PLENTY of opportunities to get your mind off this girl.
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Old 07-05-2017, 04:02 AM
 
437 posts, read 336,408 times
Reputation: 483
She's not worth worrying about. Why worry about her when she's not going to be your life partner. And it's unlikely any girl you meet in the next few years will be either. Unless u find a far more suitable candidate than this girl. On to the next one. Despite what u see on tv or in the movies, in the real world life and relationships aren't easy. And are filled with lots of ups and downs. And sometimes don't have a happy ending.

Work hard (or probably study hard in your case). Play hard, is good advice at 18.
Your objective in the dating game should primarily be to have fun and a good time.

Bc in your not too distance future u will have far more responsibilities and restrictions in your life. For example and wife and kids, a mortgage, work, bills to pay. Live it up while u can but not at the expense of your study or work.

Last edited by Hayden87; 07-05-2017 at 04:41 AM..
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Old 07-05-2017, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,447 posts, read 4,755,015 times
Reputation: 15354
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I am curious how *good in the sack* you could possibly be having some experience with one girl.
Ah don't knock him off his stride. Confidence in one's skills is very important with this sort of thing. So much of it is in the mind. Besides, as long as he's got the basics down pat and is comfortable enough around an attractive naked girl that he won't be fumbling over himself too much, he's got one up on a lot of guys his age.
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Old 07-05-2017, 09:20 AM
 
20 posts, read 12,833 times
Reputation: 15
I really appreciate the advice everyone, and it has really put my mind at ease. I guess my mission now is it to enjoy some things I won't have time for such as writing or filmmaking. And now I guess it boils down to personal growth more than anything. Thank you all.
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