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Full disclosure: I've been married, but now divorced. I got married cause that was the "next step" or "thing to do", and she wanted to. I guess the real question is other than for religious reasons or just cause you think its the thing to do, what reason is there for getting married?
It is basically a contract with you and the state government, and then a pain to get out of it. I don't think it is the government's role to legislate whether I'm in a relationship or not. Most relationships don't last that long, so what is really the point.
I'm not trying to offend anyone who is happily married for "x" years (great that it lasted), but that usually isn't the case.
Full disclosure: I've been married, but now divorced. I got married cause that was the "next step" or "thing to do", and she wanted to. I guess the real question is other than for religious reasons or just cause you think its the thing to do, what reason is there for getting married?
It is basically a contract with you and the state government, and then a pain to get out of it. I don't think it is the government's role to legislate whether I'm in a relationship or not. Most relationships don't last that long, so what is really the point.
I'm not trying to offend anyone who is happily married for "x" years (great that it lasted), but that usually isn't the case.
Government also bases how much the exact same amount of income is taxed on whether someone is married or not. Plus a lot of other fiscal policies that are almost always beneficial to the marrieds and a detriment to single people:
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMA
I'm not trying to offend anyone who is happily married for "x" years (great that it lasted), but that usually isn't the case.
Actually it is. First marriages, by a rather significant amount, last. Those odds increase if you marry someone as an adult (post 30) and you're both educated. So, wait and make an informed choice, and marry as an adult, and the odds are overwhelming that it will last.
Government also bases how much the exact same amount of income is taxed on whether someone is married or not. Plus a lot of other fiscal policies that are almost always beneficial to the marrieds and a detriment to single people:
Ok, so get married for the tax reasons. There barely our any. I won't go into the fact that I paid for most stuff into my marriage so it cost me more then it was worth.
Actually it is. First marriages, by a rather significant amount, last. Those odds increase if you marry someone as an adult (post 30) and you're both educated. So, wait and make an informed choice, and marry as an adult, and the odds are overwhelming that it will last.
I was 30 when I got married and she was a little younger. I was pretty informed, but can you give me a good reason why I should get married and why it would benefit someone?
Full disclosure: I've been married, but now divorced. I got married cause that was the "next step" or "thing to do", and she wanted to. I guess the real question is other than for religious reasons or just cause you think its the thing to do, what reason is there for getting married?
It is basically a contract with you and the state government, and then a pain to get out of it. I don't think it is the government's role to legislate whether I'm in a relationship or not. Most relationships don't last that long, so what is really the point.
I'm not trying to offend anyone who is happily married for "x" years (great that it lasted), but that usually isn't the case.
Commitment has both positives and negatives.
It's very easy to see the positives about something until ... you lose that initial rush, etc, and begin to view it from the negative standpoint.
Marriage is important BECAUSE it's a public institution. When you stand up before friends and family and a religious officiant and sign legal documents, it's a really big deal. It's much more than just a private promise between two people. It's like announcing to the world that you are a committed couple and asking that your commitment be respected. That benefits society as a whole
There is so much "gray area" in our world today where people like to hover and pretend that certain rules don't matter, that as long as I'm not hurting or bothering anyone else then whatever I want to do works.
But the truth is that marriage can be a symbolic reminder to the spouses of the bounds of their relationship. This would seem to be limiting at first, but in fact that kind of commitment can be very freeing, and that's what people who aren't married don't get to experience.
Why does it matter why others choose to get married or whatever else if it doesn't affect you? Questions like these seem to come from a place of bitterness because it didn't work out for you, or things ended badly, so then it must be a crap shoot altogether.
People marry for their own reasons, whatever those may be. Mr. Meta and I aren't religious. Our elopement ceremony was a handfasting. We wrote our own vows and all that good stuff. It carries symbolic meaning that we value for our commitment to each other. We're also sentimental romantic types. We found what we were looking for in each other, and it's pretty amazing.
I was 30 when I got married and she was a little younger. I was pretty informed, but can you give me a good reason why I should get married and why it would benefit someone?
The point you are making here is one I came to as well, as soon as I finally and permanently severed ties with my now ex husband. The process of removing myself from the marriage made me fully aware of what it takes, never mind the massive net loss financially and otherwise to myself and our son. My conclusion back then, in 2003, was that the pros had damn better outweigh the cons (by like 5 to 1) for me to agree to another wedding. Hasn't happened thus far (not that I'm actually in pursuit of such) and I'm perfectly fine with that. Actually, never better.
I don't punch down, and I (now) refuse to date down either. If it means I won't find someone who's right for me, so be it. I'm never going to carry water for or bankroll another man again, of that I'm certain.
If you don't want to get married, then don't. Live & let live. I like being married.
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