Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50663
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inacitysomewhere
Thanks, these are interesting perspectives. To me it means more that I'm not sure about them as a person, not that I may or may not have other options. Others don't really have much to do about it to me. But I can see where some would see it this way too.
Ok. So I think we need context. Since this is the "relationships" forum, I am assuming you mean a romantic partner. I agree on the others about that.
In another context, for example, if you are looking for someone to go into business with or a girlfriend to go on vacation with, or to house sit your house, saying "I'm not sure" indicates you don't know them well enough.
Anytime a romantic partner says they're not sure, seems to me they pretty much ARE sure that this relationship isn't going to be a big deal.
Anytime a romantic partner says they're not sure, seems to me they pretty much ARE sure that this relationship isn't going to be a big deal.
Pretty much this.
I feel like it's one thing to say that you want to take this relationship slow, and another to say that you aren't really sure or certain about it. The latter is usually not a good sign.
Depends. Being unsure of after a few dates is one thing, but if a man I was seeing regularly - for more than 3 months or so - told me that he was "unsure" about me, I would take it as his way of telling me that he wasn't in love with me and probably never will be. I am just a warm body to him. Time to move on.
Depends. Being unsure of after a few dates is one thing, but if a man I was seeing regularly - for more than 3 months or so - told me that he was "unsure" about me, I would take it as his way of telling me that he wasn't in love with me and probably never will be. I am just a warm body to him. Time to move on.
I can agree with this as well.
Being unsure after a couple/few dates is normal to me, but different story if it has been a couple/few months.
What does it mean, practically speaking, when someone says they are 'unsure' or 'uncertain' about a person they are seeing? I know what it means to me or how I feel when I am unsure about someone but I am curious as to other opinions.
I agree with the others. We need more details. How long have they been seeing each other? I've been in relationships where I knew we had reached a point where I had to decide whether I was ready for the next step. "Not sure" is what I would say if I wasn't ready for that next step.
I was curious about this because in Mars and Venus he talks about the second stage, uncertainty. He said that two people who feel uncertain about each other or one whose feelings hasn't caught up may be dating their partner and just not know it yet. I personally would not balk immeadiately if someone said this but I am an oddball. I think things like "certainty" and "soulmates" are largely bunk after the honeymoon stage. Maybe i am jaded but everyone I know who is divorced, myself included, was "certain" until they were "certain" it was over. I tend to look myself more for compatibility and character rather than a specific feeling but again I am an oddball.
I agree with the others. We need more details. How long have they been seeing each other? I've been in relationships where I knew we had reached a point where I had to decide whether I was ready for the next step. "Not sure" is what I would say if I wasn't ready for that next step.
What makes you ready or not? This is something I am curious aboutto know as well as I am dating a bit and don't know how you are "supposed to know." I approach this process very logically rather than emotionally.
What makes you ready or not? This is something I am curious aboutto know as well as I am dating a bit and don't know how you are "supposed to know." I approach this process very logically rather than emotionally.
It's good to be logical and clear headed. But it's also good to know what exactly is you're feeling. There's no timetable for when you're supposed to feel certain things. Your partner may be in love with you, but you may not feel the same way yet. Maybe you're ready to move in together, but they're not. What makes you ready? Nothing. Cause it's a feeling. And you can't force it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm not sure about this topic
