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Hello, I'm working in IT section where most of my co-workers are males. I talk to them only about work related stuff. I never hang out with them outside of work, they do, plus they never asked me to hang out together. Sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable around them just because I'm female. I'm afraid to start talking to them more because I'm afraid to catch feelings or that co-worker could catch feelings for me. After rejection it's would be even more awkward and to keep just friendship with males is hard, without wanting more...My boyfriend is very faithful to me, he doesn't have female friends, doesn't have female friends on his facebook friends list (I can see his fb friends list), he is working in job where all of his co-workers are much older than him, and mostly males too (some women too but they're much older than him, like ~20 years older) I told him I wouldn't be ok him having female friends, he told me he wouldn't be ok me having male friends.So what do you think it is good idea to distance myself from male co-workers or not?
I would steer clear of trying to connect more closely with male coworkers if you are uncomfortable and think you will "catch" feelings. Do your job, and then go home and hang out with your actual friends.
As for your BF, you might also want to consider why you're in a relationship with someone who employs double standards.
Your spending 8 hours a day with your co workers they don't have to be your best friends but a little friendly chatter wouldn't hurt. Your going to come off standoffish which will affect your career.
I don't understand why talking to your co-workers more would cause them, or you, to "catch feelings". That seems like an odd fear. And why would YOU "catch feelings" for some random co-worker, when you have a bf? It doesn't make sense.
I think you should be collegial with them, and just relax and be yourself. Maybe they don't invite you along at lunch or after work, because you're holding them at arm's length, as if they have cooties. People can sense when you're not at ease around them, and they're not going to make an effort to include you, if you're all business and have a serious demeanor all the time. Going to lunch with a co-worker group doesn't mean you "have male friends". It means you're being collegial with your work group.
Your spending 8 hours a day with your co workers they don't have to be your best friends but a little friendly chatter wouldn't hurt. Your going to come off standoffish which will affect your career.
During working hours I don't want to disturb them by chatting to them, they don't disturb each other during working hours either. During lunch break they go to hang out together but doesn't ask me to join them, it's more like male only hang out because only males are going to hang out together.
I'm very shy type so I've difficult times fitting in males company
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