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Some details
-Im 29, shes 22.
-Met 3 months ago at work. Friendly at work, nothing more.
-About a month ago we carpooled for a week because of work things.
-Ever since then she's been texting me non stop and we work with each other practically 10+ hours 4 days a week. I had the feeling we both connected very well and we both knew it.
-Hung out twice total. Once the weekend after we carpooled and then again yesterday.
-1. We went shooting in the desert (she likes guns as well) and then on the way home we went to a bar to eat and drink a little. She tried to pay for me, but I didn't let her. Went back to my house where her car was. Stood outside and talked about nothing much, but invited her inside and just chilled talking for about an hour.
-2. My last day of work with her was on Thursday. I won't be working with her or see her anymore at work at all. We went jeep riding and hiking yesterday. We both had a ton of fun.
Through the grapevine a few days ago I heard she has a boyfriend. They supposedly been together for 4 years. She has never mentioned him and never even gave me the impression she does. Even the dude who told me was like yeah she doesn't act like it.
Since we talk all the time I pretty much know what she's up to. Work takes up a ton of time. She lives with her parents. She babysits for her sister damn near her whole 3 days off. She even stopped by my house a few times on these days and the proof was there in her backseat in a car seat...so I know it's not a lie.
I've been single for awhile now by choice. But she has definitely ignited my desire for a relationship again. She is cute, but has a personality and goals which fits me too perfectly. We lightly flirt and talk all the time, but now I feel kinda ****ty that she has a boyfriend and isn't telling me. Someone told me yesterday out of nowhere that she's supposedly breaking up with him. It's so weird I'm like the only out of the loop.
My question is what do you guys think?
I was thinking of just letting things flow. Pretending like I don't know, but continuing on not being aggressive. (Since we worked together I've been super passive and give her no extra attention while at work) It is kinda messed up to that guy, but if the **** is over...it's over, right? I mean I could be just friendzoning myself for all I know. LOL, but I'm fairly certain she's interested in me and not for the wrong reasons.
Or should I confront her or ask her outright? Which just seems like a bad idea which could turn either way in my opinion.
It's impossible to gauge the situation based on a wall of text, but I thought it'd be cool to hear some outside input.
Why not just ask her? It's called communication. Why do you feel it wouldn't be in your best interest to ask her out right? Worst thing that could happen is that she's says yes she does.
Sounds like you're already catching feelings for her.... it'll be worse if you find out later after you're even more invested.
Last edited by Sydney123; 10-22-2017 at 11:44 PM..
The best thing to do, quite obviously, without any doubt, is to listen to what other people have to say about what is going on in her life and not speak to her directly about it.
None of my female friends have purposely hidden from me their SO. Its part of establishing expectations and boundaries; whether she is romantically or platonically interested in you.
Based her answer, you will need to either accept or walk away.
Yeah, Id ask her if shes contemplating breaking up with her bf of 4 years just to be with you.
Yeah, this.
You have no idea if she and bf are on the outs. For all you know, the bf could be cheating on her and maybe she's tired of his ****. You could be his replacement.
I bet the kid is hers. It is unusual for a single woman of her age to agree to babysit her sister's kid her WHOLE 3 days off? Wow. I would believe it if she has no job or a BF. Come on now. Also explains why she lives with her parents. The truth is her parents babysit her kid while she's at work. LOL. ONLY legit woman WITH a kid will have a car seat on their car. For serious dude. Are you ready to be a step dad? Your choice.
I mean if she is in denial of the BF what more a child? Especially from her next victim, err, prospect.
She babysits for her sister damn near her whole 3 days off. She even stopped by my house a few times on these days and the proof was there in her backseat in a car seat...so I know it's not a lie.
So ... you're SURE she babysits? Or is it a car seat for HER baby?
You don't know some very basic things about her for the amount of time you have spent communicating together. Time to be direct.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship with someone. But if that someone is deliberately keeping info from you that involves primary relationships, that IS a problem.
Why not just ask her? It's called communication. Why do you feel it wouldn't be in your best interest to ask her out right? Worst thing that could happen is that she's says yes she does.
Sounds like you're already catching feelings for her.... it'll be worse if you find out later after you're even more invested.
Mostly because we're basically only being friendly right now. I wouldn't even call it emotionally cheating on her part. I mean, I'd still be upset if I was her BF now, but it seems weird to me that she doesn't even really spend time with him.
I think now that we're not working together we'll probably hang out more, which in turn I would be more inclined to ask outright.
I am catching feelings. Mostly in the last week or so, but I'm pretty cautious with this and if she was like yeah I have a boyfriend and just want to be friends..I'd probably be fine with it. I just would keep my distance a little further and cut off the constant texting.
I bet the kid is hers. It is unusual for a single woman of her age to agree to babysit her sister's kid her WHOLE 3 days off? Wow. I would believe it if she has no job or a BF. Come on now. Also explains why she lives with her parents. The truth is her parents babysit her kid while she's at work. LOL. ONLY legit woman WITH a kid will have a car seat on their car. For serious dude. Are you ready to be a step dad? Your choice.
I mean if she is in denial of the BF what more a child? Especially from her next victim, err, prospect.
Na. I actually worked with her sisters husband for 3 years. The kid is her neice for a fact.
She's super generous person. She's living with parents because shes able to stack money for a down payment on a house and she loves babysitting her niece. I always give her **** for it, but she shoots me down and says she wants to do it.
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