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I have been dating a girl for 9 months and been my girlfriend 5 months, I'm in love with her and she also tells me that she loves me , we have a very good relationship but there's only one problem I have with her , the reason to consider breaking up with her is just one: her ex. She had a relationship with a guy for 6 years and they broke up last February, I started dating her in May but at that moment I wasn't thinking so much inn her ex because she explained me that he dumped her to start a new relationship , anyway, I never had before a problem with that situation but since a few months ago the ex started to contact her again and I saw my girlfriend and his ex at a bar , they weren't doing something wrong but was really weird to see them hanging out alone, anyway I told her that hanging out alone with her ex was hard and she told me she would try to avoid those situations and told me that besides been her ex girlfriend, he is also her friend because they were together all high school, I didn't worry of just being friends because I’m not a jealous person and even for some people is awkward to have an ex as a friend I don’t, I’m not friend of my exes but I think is a valid thing. After that situation at the bar we never had another situation with her ex but when we became officially a couple he saw her at a bar and started to insult her and telling her that she wasn’t loyal, telling her that she forgot him and started a new relationship so fast, she called me crying that she was feeling horrible for his words but that didn’t mean that she was still in love with him and she was sure about our relationship, I felt strange hearing her crying like that but nothing strange after that, then after just a few weeks she told me that she forgave him because he was drunk and was not his intention to tell those insults, I didn’t believe him , was obvious he meant it but I didn’t say something, anyway, after few months she told me that she was in love with me and I told her the same thing , we had 1 cool month with no problems but then I found out she was going with her ex and a bunch of friends from high school to a concert , I didn’t worry about that but then my girlfriend told me that her ex was trying to talk with her during all concert and told her that he misses her and wants to go back with her but my girlfriend didn’t feel something and just heard his words and that’s all, the next days I heard that he called her asking her to go out, telling her that he was seeing another girl but just in love with my girlfriend and blabla, things to go back with my gf , my girlfriend had the confidence to tell me all those things but I started to feel worried about all , the next weeks started to be more strange, I went to a nightclub with my girlfriend and we saw her ex near us dancing with a girl, my gf just kept looking at him to see what he was doing, the next day she told me he invited her to do camping but she refused his invitation but the weirdest thing happened the next day ,it was my birthday and we were at a restaurant, I went to the restroom and when I returned to the table, I saw her texting her ex, when I came closer to the table she saw me and she put her phone down to hide that action, I felt really awkward the rest of the night but I didn’t want to fight during my birthday, the next time I saw her I told her about all those situations and I was sure that she understood that I felt bad for all those things, seeing him at the bar , she told me that her sub conscious did it but I think it means something that situation, also I told her that is very strange that she doesn’t put an end to his invitations and finally why she hides her phone when she texts her ex, she only said sorry and I was thinking that she was sure about my concerns, the only concerns during our relationship are those, never had major problems before and nothing else really bothered me before, I think is not too much to ask her that she respects me , after that conversation we had 2 good weeks but again, a few days ago, I found her texting her ex , I wanted to break up with her because hurt so much seeing that she didn’t care about my concerns and did again in front of me, I tried to break up but failed because I love her so much, even her best girlfriend told me that the best decision is to break up with her because she had a sick and weird relationship with her ex, he cheated on her many times and many other relationships that both had but it’s always the same cycle , they break up, start new relationships but start to contact each other and ruin those relationships and again they return to be couple and then break up, always the same thing, I felt really bad when I heard those words, I told her about texting her ex again and I asked her “what if it was the opposite thing? Me texting my ex and hiding our conversations and not stopping her invitations knowing she wants to go back with me and knowing that all of this makes my girlfriend feel bad and sad, she told me that I have valid reasons to doubt but telling me that I don’t have confidence in her, also mentioned that she only talks with her ex because she gave him a loan and he goes to her house every 2 or 3 weeks to give her the some money in an envelope, she mentioned she will in touch with him and told me not to be worried , her best friend mentioned that the money is only a reason to be in contact with him and if I love her, I will have to deal with this situation for a long time because they were or are really dependent from the other and it’s not going to be easy for her to forget him , she told me also that is true that she loves me but I feel the actions are the important things to show love , I stopped seeing another girl that had a crush on me because I was feeling that I made the right decision but if she can’t do a sacrifice or this thing for me , maybe she doesn’t feel the same things as me, I decided to keep going with this relationship but not really sure if I did the best, I feel the confidence in her is affected but my love for her numbs my judgment
Same exact situation and timeline happened to me . Have to think about it this way . You have 9 months and he has 6 years , which do you think wins ?
In my case I lost, never really had a chance I guess .
Doesn’t really mean it will last with them , but she’s gonna at least give him one more chance before she would ever commit to you .
Girls who do this like mine just jump from relationship to relationship to avoid ever dealing with feelings , she never really got over him before getting with you .
Your girlfriend is immature and branched swung from that relationship right into yours with almost no time to get over the last one. Common theme. She clearly isn't over her ex and doesn't respect you enough to cut contact with someone who clearly isn't interested in a platonic relationship with her.
Sorry, didn't read. Please learn to write in paragraphs.
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