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Right. Bars on the windows, brown, dead grass out front, black curtains. Most women don’t expect extreme HGTV-level effort, but they do want something a little above this-looks-like-a-home-with-criminal-activity-within level. Perhaps some attempt at landscaping, a security system instead of bars, some attempt at interior decor. I don’t think that makes a woman shallow or money grubbing.
Yeah, what's up with the dead lawn, that's not hard to fix, maybe it's only dormant and with a bit of watering it will green up?
Now, the bars in the windows, depending on the neighborhood, I would not necessarily have put them in, but would not take them out now either. Although they do add to the "Come in here, and you'll never come out!" vibe, which would be off-putting to many people, not just potential dates.
The guy I'm seeing has over-landscaped to death. I love gardening, planning, planting. I feel like there's nothing more I could do in all of his projects and sitting areas!
But with the OP...now that would be fun for someone like me to get started on! Maybe it's just a matter of meeting a woman with the right attitude, then when it actually gets to that point, let her know.
If he disagrees, he can ignore them. I don't think anyone here is saying the OP is LIKE Hannibal Lecter or any sort of thing like that.
It's all about first impressions. If the house looks like that, it kind of begs the question about what other aspects might need some sprucing up. It's all superficial but when you're in that "getting to know you" phase, it can be the difference between getting flushed and your date having real interest in you.
And going by the pics, the guy isn't a slob/ hoarder; everything looks pretty clean, organized, no farm animals in the front yard, etc. It just doesn't fit the decor most of us imagine.
Right? Ever go into someone's house who had any of these in the corner?
I felt nauseous. I don't even remember what the house itself looked like, but what the hell? I'll take side-eyeing an unoriginal cinder block over terrifying any day.
If I drove up to the same place with some fresh paint, a few shrubs, some flowers in beds, a tidy mailbox, and no visible trashcans (and grass that's alive and flourishing), I might think "he really cares about his property" and I'd be thinking this is a good sign.
So, he thinks women need billionaires, but what they really need is a guy making the most of what he's got.
I thought the decorative/arty bars for the windows was a good idea. That would be an easy way to start. And watering the lawn if it can be revived, and if the water bill wouldn't be too expensive. Small, easy steps like that can make a difference.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-10-2017 at 06:45 PM..
I really don't see much odd with the inside of the OP's house, other than those thick curtains. I can't even tell if those pictures of the interior are taken at night or if it just looks like it's at night, due to those curtains. I don't like it looking that dark in there during the daytime, but I actually enjoy sitting in the dark in the evening, when I'm watching TV. It even makes the room a little cooler. The Mrs doesn't like that so much, she prefers to watch TV with the lights on, unless it's something scary or just before bed. I'm not gonna subject her to having to sit in the living room in the dark, but when she's not in here watching TV or is not home, you can bet that I'll have my hockey game on with the lights in the living room turned off. And when I'm riding my bike in our little gym room, I have the lights off when I'm watching TV in there while working out.
I mean, I don't personally like bicycles or cans of spray paint in my living room, but I've known quite a few people who have bicycles in their living room, particularly those that live in the city. I just keep my bikes in the shed. Bicycle, dirtbike and street bike. I'd keep it in the garage if I were him, but for all I know, maybe he's got a nice car in the garage and needs it for that? It doesn't look like a big garage.
The outside of the house is a bit.... strange, I guess? Those bars make the house look older/from a different era than it is. I'm gonna say the house was probably built in the 50's, maybe late 40's. Definitely post WW2-Korean War era. Mostly any house/building with those burglar bars are from the prohibition/depression era.
The yard and grass look pretty bad, but mine looked like that when I first moved here. That could be reversed.
I do dig the Scarface picture. I'd love to find a Goodfellas one for my living room. I'm not a fan of the movie, myself, but I like when people put up stuff like that in their living room, more than some generic stuff like Ansel Adams pictures or some plants. Which are cool, if you like like that kind of stuff, but I feel like many people put that up just to ''Decorate'' the place. I also told her that she could decorate the place when she moved in, but I've had this framed jersey of my favorite hockey player on my wall for years. It still stays in the living room. I had it on my bedroom wall, back before I moved in here and lived with roommates.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 675,939 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Why wait? Why not make it more appealing before finding someone, since it certainly could affect finding someone?
Well, I agree with you on that, but like almost everyone on here has said, each person is different. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He may not feel the need (nor the desire) to dress up his place to impress a woman UNTIL after he gets said woman who can then decorate his entire house (except his office) to her heart's content. Whether he even gets to that point if he can't impress any woman enough to even want to enter his house is another matter entirely.
Quote:
I mean, maybe a poor analogy, but would it make sense for me to say, hey, if I find an athletic in shape woman I'm certainly willing to get in shape and make myself more appealing if she wants me to? It sure doesn't to me, since me being in shape very well may impact my meeting the person.
That was a poor analogy lol, but I get what you're saying.
I think it's easier for women in this type of situation, because, well....for the most part, a lot of us already have a sense of 'welcoming style' to our place and we can make our abode on fleek without even thinking about it or putting forth much effort into it.
I think most guys would think my apartment decor would be on the cool but 'pretty' side lol because I'm into The Walking Dead and have some framed show posters by my flat screen and some Final Fantasy XIII, Death Note and Tokyo Ghoul posters (I'm into gaming/anime/manga big time )...but then I have some plants, nice color coordinated drapes, both bathrooms have beach decor in them (as does my bedroom, which I consider to be my tropical sanctuary) and mostly beach-themed wall art and decorations everywhere because I only live 1 mile from the ocean and my kitchen...well, don't get me started on that lol...I spend a lot of time in there, so it's got new black appliances but the walls and decor in there is light and bright, like a summer day at the beach.
Okay the outside of my house is the last thing I'm working on, I do plan on painting it a different color based on my tastes. as far as the yard goes it's very green now, that grass is a monster, it was brown last week because it had not rained in 5 weeks, it rained twice over the weekend and once yesterday and now I'm gonna have to cut it.
it will shrivel up and die but let it rain and it's a headache, as it grows way too fast.
Also I used to have shrubs under the window but this summer it rained so much they got out of control so I dug them up I will eventually plant more plants like what you see just to the right of the porch as that thing really is low maintenance.
I my trashcan is in front of the garage because when I kept it in the backyard raccoons and possums were getting into it. and its hard to get it past my car anyway, that garage and patio were not originally there it was just a driveway and carport on the side of the house so you can go from the backyard to the frond yard without going through the patio and garage. it's a covered patio so I can sit outside during the day if I did have company.
As far as the interior it comes from a few places, one is good memories from what i thought was the coolest apartment I every lived in when I lived in clevland, the apartment building used to be a warehouse, it had grayish brick walls it was small but wide open.
And my taste runs kind of and a tech themed direction, a mashup of cyberpunk diesel punk and clockwork punk. now of course I'm not gonna go all out in that direction but I kinda wanna capture the spirit of it.
Examples:
I know my tastes may seem silly to you guys, but heck some people have a western feel to the way they decorate.
If you like your house the way it is and it’s your sense of style, go for it. Enjoy it. But just keep in mind it’s appealing to only a very small subset of the population (and only part of that subset are women and only some of those women are single and looking). So it’s just going to make things more difficult for you. Your choices are leave things as is and accept that it’s going to make it harder to find someone. Or change to be more appealing to a wider audience and cast a bigger net.
You just have to decide what you think is best for you and accept the cons of that choice as well as the pros. And understand this was your choice. The world isn’t against you, women aren’t against you, it’s juat that most people can’t “have it all” and usually make compromises in life, and that includes love life. You set your priorities of what you are sticking to and what you will compromise on. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best!
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I'd keep it in the garage if I were him, but for all I know, maybe he's got a nice car in the garage and needs it for that? It doesn't look like a big garage.
and my kitchen...well, don't get me started on that lol...I spend a lot of time in there, so it's got new black appliances but the walls and decor in there is light and bright, like a summer day at the beach. 
