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It really depends I have seen where it's some sort of a personality problem where the woman needs constant attention from the opposite sex to validate herself or something. When a guy does it sometimes he is testing the waters to see if he can cheat. Then when he gets shot down he brings out the security blanket and coyly slips in that he has a gf or wife, but not before, it's always after he gets shot down.
I wouldn't call what I do 'flirting'. Supermarket checkout girls? It's a game I play to see if I can charm them. I try to cheer up the grumpy ones or try to get a bigger smile and friendlier "have a nice day" than the folks before me. I often get "nice meeting you" and "see you again" and so on, plus the coveted bigger smile.
However, is there really such a thing as 'innocent flirting'? Is it not a secret 'testing the waters' without any intention of doing anything about it? Like just to see if we still have it?
This is the way my dad was. :-) He had 'girlfriends' all over the place. LOL He had a smile and a wink for everyone, and was quite the charmer. My mom would just roll her eyes. LOL
I flirt all the time and I know my wife does too. We trust each other that we aren't having physical contact with anyone but each other. Completely harmless.
This is the way my dad was. :-) He had 'girlfriends' all over the place. LOL He had a smile and a wink for everyone, and was quite the charmer. My mom would just roll her eyes. LOL
That's not necessarily flirting. I've known several men who had a "smile and a wink for everyone," and characteristic of them was that "everyone" included elderly women as much as younger women. These men seemed just to thoroughly enjoy small talk with women in general, and even then in a "masculine" manner.
But they are never sexually suggestive in any way that could be misconstrued as serious. If they said, "Mary, you are looking stunning this morning!" that "Mary" might be 28 or 88, and they would say it with the same level of conviction.
No, not appropriate. Especially not when the partner is in front of us when they're flirting with me. I get super annoyed about it and I try to give to more attention to their partner out of respect but I can tell they don't like me.
Have you ever noticed how the super flirty people are the ones in relationships? That's probably how they got into one. People assume I'm in a relationship because I'm not super flirty but I just don't feel like flirting with random people.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly
No, not appropriate. Especially not when the partner is in front of us when they're flirting with me. I get super annoyed about it and I try to give to more attention to their partner out of respect but I can tell they don't like me.
Have you ever noticed how the super flirty people are the ones in relationships? That's probably how they got into one. People assume I'm in a relationship because I'm not super flirty but I just don't feel like flirting with random people.
I've had to do that same thing before, and I felt bad for the wife/GF of the disrespectful SO. As far as your last sentence is concerned, that is exactly how I feel too. I'll only flirt with a guy if I know him already and like him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1AngryTaxPayer
I flirt all the time and I know my wife does too. We trust each other that we aren't having physical contact with anyone but each other. Completely harmless.
Why do you flirt with other women all the time? Is it for the variety and to see if you've 'still got it'?
here is an imaginary line that you don't cross which I can't precisely define. But you know whats wrong when you see or hear it.
Anything physical (touching, hugging, etc..) clearly a no no. Any inappropriate emails including suggestions of acts/desires, sexting, nudity, etc.. clearly a no no. Outside of that I think there is room for innocent flirting (e.g. jokes, smiles, winks) that is just part of the human experience.
It really depends I have seen where it's some sort of a personality problem where the woman needs constant attention from the opposite sex to validate herself or something. When a guy does it sometimes he is testing the waters to see if he can cheat. Then when he gets shot down he brings out the security blanket and coyly slips in that he has a gf or wife, but not before, it's always after he gets shot down.
I've posted before about the wife of an acquaintance who has this issue. When his male friends are visiting she'll do things like take a shower--at the most random times, always when a male is over--and then find some odd reason to enter whatever room the men are in, still dripping wet and wrapped in a towel, looking for a pencil, for example (no lie). She's said disparaging things about him in his absence, just to gauge a reaction. I could fill pages with the things this woman has done around his male friends--myself included--and the silliest thing is she doesn't seem to mind that we are her SO's friends. She went a bit overboard with one guy she was left alone with, and he told the SO about it. Personally I get a kick out of ignoring her antics, watching her quietly get angry about it, and making her realize exactly what it is she's angry about.
The woman is foolish to the point that she actually changed her hairstyle the day after she overheard me praising a woman for wearing the same hairstyle and commenting on how great it looked on her. The married chick actually changed her hair, and when I came over to help the husband with some work she made a point of parading around blatantly, waiting for a reaction, which she did not get. It's amusing and pathetic at the same time.
All I know is if someone else's girlfriend or wife is flirting with me, I'm not going to respond. Not worth the bruises. That's what your man is for. Don't want him? Break it off, and then you can maybe flirt with me. It is up to me to use discretion. Hell, I wouldn't even do "harmless" flirting, that could be taken the wrong way. I could be extremely attracted to a woman, but if I find out she is married, she vanishes like a puff of smoke to me.
Woman: I have a husband
Me: WTF?! Where'd she go?!!!
Well-said, and I agree fully--however I wouldn't waste my time dating a woman who had tried to previously flirt with me while in a relationship. She's already shown me her lack of morals and will likely do the same thing to me once the new and shiny has worn off. No thanks, I'll pass.
I also find it hilarious and a bit shameful how some women will actually get angry that you don't return their attempts at flirting, as if she expects you to disregard her current relationship (whether you know the guy or not).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell
Well-said, and I agree fully--however I wouldn't waste my time dating a woman who had tried to previously flirt with me while in a relationship. She's already shown me her lack of morals and will likely do the same thing to me once the new and shiny has worn off. No thanks, I'll pass.
I also find it hilarious and a bit shameful how some women will actually get angry that you don't return their attempts at flirting, as if she expects you to disregard her current relationship (whether you know the guy or not).
I've run into this with a few guys, and to me, it's more pathetic than hilarious. When guys like that - who are with their SOs or if I see they have a wedding ring on - come on to me and I politely dismiss them, they throw shade at me and act like *I* did something wrong lol. What makes me attracted to a guy is to see that he RESPECTS his current relationship with his GF/wife and that he isn't the kind of guy that's out talking it up with other women, acting like he's single. I've seen guys like that before and it makes me smile, because it gives me hope that I might someday meet a guy who would be that respectful of me and our relationship.
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When guys like that - who are with their SOs or if I see they have a wedding ring on - come on to me and I politely dismiss them, they throw shade at me and act like *I* did something wrong lol. What makes me attracted to a guy is to see that he RESPECTS his current relationship with his GF/wife and that he isn't the kind of guy that's out talking it up with other women, acting like he's single. I've seen guys like that before and it makes me smile, because it gives me hope that I might someday meet a guy who would be that respectful of me and our relationship. 
