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It's not that black and white--stating a preference isn't necessarily dooming anyone to solitude. I can say that I prefer guys with dark hair, but I've actually dated blond guys and guys who've shaved their heads. It's only if someone is allowing a fantasy to override reality that there's a problem.
Its pretty black and white, when you do online dating and filter out any guy under 6'2" making less than 100k. I personally dont care, because I check both boxes, but I realize how many guys get disqualified without being given a chance, for dubious reasons
Its pretty black and white, when you do online dating and filter out any guy under 6'2" making less than 100k. I personally dont care, because I check both boxes, but I realize how many guys get disqualified without being given a chance, for dubious reasons
I think that's more a factor of the ideology that drives men and women to approach dating differently.
Men are blasting larger numbers of women, anyone who is acceptable, doing that "numbers game" thing, in the hopes that some few might give them a shot. A man would look at a large pool of possible results and see that as a good thing...unless he casts his net and still gets no results.
Women see a page with 1,000 thumbnails of male photos, as an overwhelming heap that MUST be narrowed down. We do not want to play a numbers game. We want to find Mr. Perfect, not a few hundred possibilities. And if the best guy doesn't respond, then we might message up to two or three runners up, if we're the sort to make first contact at all.
So we are looking for any way at all that we might narrow the field. And unfortunately, the easiest filters to apply are those that might not be hard limits, but they are numerical parameters. Like I said, if a woman met a guy in person who didn't fall within those supposed restrictions she put on her online dating pool, she might yet LIKE him well enough to say, "Well I know I said over 6' tall guys, but maybe that's not so important, I mean, his eyes...and his laugh...and he likes this food and that show..." We look for those points of connection and commonality.
I think if she gets to the point where she's not liking the results showing up with her filters on, she'll adjust them.
Its pretty black and white, when you do online dating and filter out any guy under 6'2" making less than 100k. I personally dont care, because I check both boxes, but I realize how many guys get disqualified without being given a chance, for dubious reasons
Yes, it's always the other person's reasons are "dubious" but yours (not you personally) are not.
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There is a difference between "liking what you like" and coming off as an entitled brat.
So environment has nothing to do with it.
So you're telling me that I'm a Kansas City Chiefs fan because I sat down and logically determined that I like that team/players/franchise. Thus, the fact that I was born and raised in Kansas City had no factor in why I am a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs.
Everything has a cause, and it's laughable when people say that their preferences are just there because "that's what they like." No, your preferences are THE SAME as everyone around you...and it's because the environment has put created that preference.
"I just like what I like"
So you're telling me that companies spend BILLIONS of dollars every years for no reason. That advertising doesn't work and doesn't influence people to engage with a product or brand. Give me a break
I think that's more a factor of the ideology that drives men and women to approach dating differently.
Men are blasting larger numbers of women, anyone who is acceptable, doing that "numbers game" thing, in the hopes that some few might give them a shot. A man would look at a large pool of possible results and see that as a good thing...unless he casts his net and still gets no results.
Women see a page with 1,000 thumbnails of male photos, as an overwhelming heap that MUST be narrowed down. We do not want to play a numbers game. We want to find Mr. Perfect, not a few hundred possibilities. And if the best guy doesn't respond, then we might message up to two or three runners up, if we're the sort to make first contact at all.
So we are looking for any way at all that we might narrow the field. And unfortunately, the easiest filters to apply are those that might not be hard limits, but they are numerical parameters. Like I said, if a woman met a guy in person who didn't fall within those supposed restrictions she put on her online dating pool, she might yet LIKE him well enough to say, "Well I know I said over 6' tall guys, but maybe that's not so important, I mean, his eyes...and his laugh...and he likes this food and that show..." We look for those points of connection and commonality.
I think if she gets to the point where she's not liking the results showing up with her filters on, she'll adjust them.
I agree with you, its definitely the approach to dating in general that differs for men and women. But form my own experience, I know that its common to hear a woman say things like "he is so not my type, but we hit it off anyway, and now im really into him". The problem with that is, that in OLD scenario, this guy she is really into, never gets his chance to begin with. He doesnt exist, because he was filtered out due to not meeting a criteria that doesnt much matter in the end. For guys its pretty simple for the most part. We either find you attractive or not, and that basically remains that way.
Requirements: Must make $100k+, college degree, athletic, 6ft+, always a gentlemen (I'm "traditional"), ambitious, cool hobbies
Her: Does hair at Lady Jane's, smokes, two kids (different dads), GED, lives at home, slightly overweight, too many tats
The idea here, that seems to get lost on people, isn't that people aren't allowed to like what they like. It's that they think they deserve this high value person when they bring very little to the table themselves. It's the entitlement that gets under people's skin. Not the "well I'm not six foot hrrrrrumppph!."
So you're telling me that I'm a Kansas City Chiefs fan because I sat down and logically determined that I like that team/players/franchise. Thus, the fact that I was born and raised in Kansas City had no factor in why I am a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs.
What? How did you go there with what I said.
People can and do like whatever they like. I don't think you "logically determined" your fandom of the Chiefs.
My point is that some people come off as entitled brats in their profiles.
I also think that some people take offense to certain things. A lot of guys think it is offensive to see a height requirement in a girls profile. I don't, but I understand it. But men aren't allowed to take offense in 2017 so shhhhhussh whiner. It's the same reason I don't say I like a certain breast size in my profile, I think it's tacky and would likely offend a lot of girls.
So you're telling me that I'm a Kansas City Chiefs fan because I sat down and logically determined that I like that team/players/franchise. Thus, the fact that I was born and raised in Kansas City had no factor in why I am a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs.
Everything has a cause, and it's laughable when people say that their preferences are just there because "that's what they like." No, your preferences are THE SAME as everyone around you...and it's because the environment has put created that preference.
"I just like what I like"
So you're telling me that companies spend BILLIONS of dollars every years for no reason. That advertising doesn't work and doesn't influence people to engage with a product or brand. Give me a break
Ok. So do you think gay dudes are born gay and "like what they like" (which is dudes) or that there was a cause and they were basically turned gay by something.
I love this question because it either invalidates your argument or outs yourself as a bigot.
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