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Another thing to add: since you are not working full time, volunteer! Local animal shelters or pet rescue groups will attract young women as volunteers. We love pets, and often with apartment restrictions, people our age aren't able to have them, so they get their fix this way. You can even network through a volunteer program, since people of all types of industries volunteer for worthy causes.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by sinsativ
Ok. well, you live with Mommy and Daddy. Minimal employment, no security, no savings. $500?? really, you are not a catch. You are a liability. Most young women, in any state are looking for an equal, not someone they need to babysit, or mother. Grow up, be independent. No confidence, just an ego. You haven't posted a pic, so all we can do is say, you're okay looking. But a catch? no, you're not even good bait. Fix yourself, and others will notice you got your [bleep] together and have a goal, they'll want to be a part of it.
You know you are kind of proving his point, right?
I am a 27 year old woman and here are my thoughts. Minimal employment is a huge negative. I get that it's hard to find a full time teaching position. It's similar here in parts of NJ. My cousin took 3 years to find a full time one. She started as a sub for 2 years then took over mid-year for a woman who left on maternity leave. Then a spot opened up in a different school in the district.
Have you had any full time experience since you graduated? Consider women who started their careers straight out of college, at 22. You are 5+ years behind them. They are more established, busy, career-minded. They probably have their own place or at least live with roommates rather than with parents. If the job market is saturated with no hope of finding full time employment, move.
You may think your profile is all that but I wouldn't be surprised if your self-loathing and contempt of Millennial women was apparent in your profile. 7 paragraphs is long. Cut that down. Put highlights rather than a novel. Do not mention your gym passion. It can come off negatively. We can see from pictures if you regularly go to the gym or have never stepped foot inside one.
I don't know what you mean by "minimal employment." I know many young women would rather date a lazy rich man, as opposed to a hard-working, poor man.
While I've still never had a full time job, I've been working overtime hours for the past year, between two jobs, and some gigs in between.
I don't know many women who began their careers at 22 years old(That's rare these days), but even if they live with their roommates, it's not any different than living with your parents, as long as you assist. Again, if I follow through, and move out of state, I'll be moving out of my parents' house regardless.
And I clearly don't "self-loath." Do you know what "loathing" means? It's a self-hatred. Obviously, my hatred isn't against myself.
The job market is saturated, which was another reason why I might move. My interview at the charter school went very well, so I hope I get the job there. If I do, I might move out of my parents' house after saving up(for the summer).
I think you need to move, and NOT because it is going to solve your problem, but because YOU need to see that it doesn't.
Women care a lot about your economic situation on paper, as in when they are listing things a potential mate needs to have financial stability will rank high. It will also count for a lot on dating sites etc etc.
But the thing is like others already pointed out, it isn't the main issue if you find nothing. Because when you meet women irl, and have a conversation most of them will not be ticking stuff off their "lists", they will feel chemistry or they will not feel chemistry, and that will outweigh whatever is on that "list".
You change location, but as long as the difference of location doesn't change you, you will fall back into the same track.
I've already moved twice for this stupid reason and it doesn't help. You get biased for a little while, then realize it's the same old story and get even more disgruntled.
Another thing to add: since you are not working full time, volunteer! Local animal shelters or pet rescue groups will attract young women as volunteers. We love pets, and often with apartment restrictions, people our age aren't able to have them, so they get their fix this way. You can even network through a volunteer program, since people of all types of industries volunteer for worthy causes.
I might volunteer, but I am working full time hours(just not a full time job). Actually, with my part-time department store job I might snag back, I will probably be working overtime hours.
It's not about being poor, it's about being "behind." And I did not say it was his only problem, but it definitely doesn't help.
I'm not "behind", especially since I know several people in their 30's working minimum wage jobs-And some of those people with a Bachelor's degree who couldn't find a job in their field!
I don't think the people on this forum know how bad the job market is these days.
but I feel like I should have scored with a girl by now.
Maybe you should examine this whole attitude of "acquiring" a "girl" as a sort of commodity you're entitled to? Are you just looking to couple up to avoid being lonely, or do you desire actual companionship with a complete person with their own quirks, personality, character, demeanor, ideas, passions, interests, preferences, characteristics, values, goals, sense of humor, etc.?
Quote:
I'm in good shape(I'm a gym-rat), I'm confident, funny,and an ideal match, yet still no luck.
What makes you think these three traits makes you an "ideal match"? You think just being beefcake, confident and funny (subjective) are sought after traits by "women"? Lol. That's it? Nothing about character, openness, personality, how the person communicates and shows compassion and consideration, their value system or worldview, how they think, what they're passionate about, what intrigues or fascinates them? Behind being nice to ogle and a couple nondescript traits.
Quote:
I've even tried online dating websites, and apps, and I've still had no luck. The common denominator is one thing: THIS AREA.
Maybe try being more than beefcake, confident (or is it arrogant or obnoxious?) and funny? People can pick up on others' attitudes and if you give off a certain undesirable attitude or vibe, you read as off-putting.
Maybe you should examine this whole attitude of "acquiring" a "girl" as a sort of commodity you're entitled to? Are you just looking to couple up to avoid being lonely, or do you desire actual companionship with a complete person with their own quirks, personality, character, demeanor, ideas, passions, interests, preferences, characteristics, values, goals, sense of humor, etc.?
What makes you think these three traits makes you an "ideal match"? You think just being beefcake, confident and funny (subjective) are sought after traits by "women"? Lol. That's it? Nothing about character, openness, personality, how the person communicates and shows compassion and consideration, their value system or worldview, how they think, what they're passionate about, what intrigues or fascinates them? Behind being nice to ogle and a couple nondescript traits.
Maybe try being more than beefcake, confident (or is it arrogant or obnoxious?) and funny? People can pick up on others' attitudes and if you give off a certain undesirable attitude or vibe, you read as off-putting.
I should mention that I have a huge sexual appetite, and I think about sex constantly. My sexual appetite is like the appetite of an alligator.
I mainly want sex, but if I pay for sex, I might get caught, and lose my teaching license.
I don't mind having a relationship, but I'm so horny at this point, I don't mind Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-05-2017 at 09:32 AM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
How is New York? Are the Millennial women there open-minded, friendly, and accepting?
Cincinnati Metro area has a population of 2.16 million people. Presumably, roughly half of those are women. So you are absolutely sure that all the women in your age range are snooty and not approachable?
I have lived in NY metro area most of my life and also struggled with dating until my early thirties. NY area is of course bigger, rougher and a lot more diverse than Cincinnati. There are more women. If you have never been in NY, I suggest you come for a visit.
But NY metro area has much higher COL then were you live. If you always lived in a white suburb and are used to driving everywhere, not used to diversity and non native English speakers, NY region would be quite a shock to you. You could probably get a teaching job in NYC in a rough school district if you are up to that. But no one can guarantee that you would do better with women here.
Best of luck to you...
Last edited by Yac; 12-14-2020 at 01:07 AM..
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