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I had to review the Chris Rock comment, in light of this post. I don't think that's what it's about, exactly, but maybe that's just me. There's a difference between being self-supporting, and providing. One can earn enough to be fully self-supporting, an independently-functioning adult, but not earn enough to be a provider. I think it's the provider expectation that the thread is about.
OP?
I don't know, the title just says provides "something"?
I think you all forget he is from LA. The land of the the vain, gold diggers, and materialistic anything. Someone said the condition is the woman has to ALWAYS look good. Reminds me of David Foster who left Yolanda Foster when she NEEDS him most! She was sick!! Now he's shagging a much younger woman that even his own daughter is making fun of him on social media.
Just look at Ewan Mcgregor who left his wife for a LITERALLY younger version of her.
So yeah, I don't really have a compassion for what he is trying to say. LA people can suck it.
I think you all forget he is from LA. The land of the the vain, gold diggers, and materialistic anything. Someone said the condition is the woman has to ALWAYS look good. Reminds me of David Foster who left Yolanda Foster when she NEEDS him most! She was sick!! Now he's shagging a much younger woman that even his own daughter is making fun of him on social media.
Just look at Ewan Mcgregor who left his wife for a LITERALLY younger version of her.
So yeah, I don't really have a compassion for what he is trying to say. LA people can suck it.
Well, certain areas of L.A. And certain "jobs" (like TV/movies...or comedy... )
I do think people "keep themselves together" physically more out here although where I am in the 'burbs this is not so much a "thing" at all if you're talking extremes...and most of us wives work. MOST of what you see in Hollywood IS NOT representative of SoCal in general or even most of L.A., we are normal people trying to get by. Saying Los Angeles is all about that one proportionately very small segment is like saying all of NYC is like Wall Street, with nearly every family working into the wee hours wheeling deals left, right and center. If you look at Hollywood, you're looking at something that has uniquely managed to become a caricature of itself.
Of course someone as rich as Rock is going to get gold-diggers, and they won't only be from L.A. and they won't be representative of the general population.
I got into a conversation on FB yesterday about this very quote. As a woman, the only time I've ever felt truly unconditionally loved, was when I was a child, and then not by my parents, but just the older relatives like my Grandma.
Since then, I've always got to pull my end, I've got stuff to prove, I've got to perform to some extent to keep someone close. My children made me feel needed, and used, to the extent that it did not feel like unconditional love coming from them. No partner has ever made me feel like there was nothing I could do to affect their love for me, like if I stopped trying to be worthy of it, it would go on unconditionally. Nah. And I said that furthermore, I'm not sure that truly unconditional love, to the point you'd put up with literally ANY behavior, is healthy or sane in adult relationships, whether between family, friends, or partners.
And frankly, it's exactly this sort of sentiment that annoys women, too, the idea that seeing a hot woman and wanting to hit that, is somehow a more genuine, true, not-at-all-superficial version of love. Whereas, objecting to being mooched off of and wanting a partner who can provide a decent lifestyle for the entire family unit, man...she must just be greedy and superficial, huh? How dare she not want any kids you have together, to go hungry. What a gold digger!
Furthermore, I get annoyed that men are VALIDATED more for what they do (not just earnings, but achievements in life) than women are. I feel like, as a woman, I was supposed to sit happy with my worth being defined by my looks, and my devotion to serving the needs of my husband and sons. Whereas a man, well, you would know several generations after he's dead and gone, what his vocation was, what sort of a PERSON he was. His identity counts for something, beyond just the care he gives to other people. I'm supposed to be happy about that? What if I want people to ask, "What does she do?" See, nowadays women have to provide, too. It's just that people who see the world as Chris Rock was describing...don't care.
Psh. Feh. I'll pass on this whole framework of people looking at people like this. I'll be an "outlier" among other "outliers" and reject all this noise, whether it's true for other people or no.
I agree. On the flip side, once you have a relationship, someone can become disabled. Cant walk from an injury or whatever. They may generate a good income, they may not. Would it be fair for their partner to leave them now when they needs them most because they cant get the things they want so readily anymore, or at least do 50% of everything?
It would be hard for her, but if she really loves him she would probably stay with him. Her friends may call him a BUM if his disability doesn't improve over time. She may get weary pulling most or all of the weight. He might not like the situation very much either. It's been my experience that men who come to need to depend on women don't feel very manly.
Likewise, she probably wouldn't like not being able to do the things she enjoyed doing for him, pull her weight, do her 50%.
Would either one of them want the other to leave them if they became disabled? I think if people love each other they will whether the storm.
In a perfect world, we never get to find out and live happily ever after, lol.
Disabled people are not bums.
Anyone who thinks that is a jerk.
If a guy feels less a man because he is disabled, he needs to figure out what he can do to give his life the meaning he seeks. And, yes... I know it will get exhausting for a woman who doesn't earn much to carry the weight in a family, but if they are taking care of their marriage, they'll be successful.
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I've said this before but it may have been jumbled among all the other commentary (mine included)...Rock is living a VERY, VERY abnormal (if you will) life. Certainly if you compare it to the population. I get that it's comedy, ha ha. At the same time, comedy relies on an element of perceived truth; otherwise it would just be...weird and out there. And although there's a place for that, in stand-up it's not common.
Anyway, as far as his life: of course Rock is going to see things this way. He doesn't speak for the common man; ironically, it's the common man saying Rock can relate and speaks "truth." But he doesn't understand you guys...not anymore. Not literally for decades. People absolutely do go after Rock for his money because he has a ton of it. That's not uncommon. And I don't see him taking on ugly, kindly, sweet women with "lots to offer" emotionally, or women who feel working and supporting themselves is a priority.
He is funny (sometimes...he was funnier years ago when he was more wry than bitter but that's JMO...nobody has to agree with it) but there is no doubt he is jaded, and there is also no doubt that he in no way can relate to the average man with typical possibilities and an average life, and any memory he has of such is pretty vague...he has been in the spotlight for a very long time. I mean the man was just 19 years old the first time he appeared on TV, and was well on his way to a certain faction going after him for being "somebody on TV" even before the really huge bucks started rolling in. And that was in the 80s. He's like 50something now.
I look down on women who don't work, yet aren't providing for their family in some other, meaningful way that was agreed upon by her and her spouse.
Hell, yeah, I do.
That's not cool. Those women are bums.
Right? I live in a neighborhood with quite a few SAHMs, I can tell because I see the Mommy Packs running with the strollers in the morning.
At around 47 I became a stay-at-home-wife, waiting for DH to retire (he just did). I took care of everything. Cooking, cleaning, yard work, finances, dogs, kid stuff (not much, they are older), vacations..... DH's job was to go to work. Full stop. (he couldn't leave messes, I'm not a friggin' maid )
I'm not saying it was hard work, but it WAS teamwork. He was thrilled. I had a career my whole life, and ended up with a bunch of medical problems (not related), so it was a nice change for me too.
Any stay at home wife I know pulls her weight, and then some when you throw kids into the equation.
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I look down on women who don't work, yet aren't providing for their family in some other, meaningful way that was agreed upon by her and her spouse.
Hell, yeah, I do.
That's not cool. Those women are bums.
I do too, at least in theory or from what I've heard. I'm not being deliberately wide-eyed here, I honest to God do not know one single woman who is at home and not working, and/or doesn't have at least a couple/few decades of work behind her but now is coming toward retirement, who JUST sits at home, doesn't also take care of children, take care of the home and keep appointments. And of those, a fair percentage either work intermittently in addition, or work part-time, or work from home. (My friend and I both do this, actually.)
I mean literally not one, and I live in a fairly well-off area. Not rich but not hurting for sure. Bedroom community.
Sounds like many men just have lower standards in regards to accomplishment/intelligence/work ethic.
Not sure the women are to blame for that one.
Raise your standards and those looking for mates will raise there.
Same to women. Collectively raise your standards re: looks, compassion, etc, and the men will follow.
“Different” standards does not equate “low” standards.
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