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i am currently in my early 50's , married with 2 kids and have been having a problem that seems to keep getting worse. when i was in my early 20's i met a girl through a mutual friend, i was dating someone else and she was engaged at the time. we immediately had that attraction to each other and were pretty much inseparable for several years when out of the blue she left me for another guy. i was crushed lost 60 lbs, i'm 6 ft 2 and went from 200 lbs to 140. this was long before the time of cell phones or internet and had no way of contacting her or even knowing how she was doing.
fast forward to 1999, i had met someone and was about to get married she finds me, we hookup a few times and she calls occasionally just to checkup on me. she then finds me on facebook many years ago and we have kept in contact every few weeks and sometimes more. this past flame has never been married but constantly has a boyfriend she replaces every few years.
now about my wife, i met her over 20 years ago, we have built a very successful life together 2 great kids but something has always seemed missing to me, have never felt as close to her as this other girl from my distant past. the last 5 years or so have been increasing difficult to me, she knows something is wrong and is constantly asking but i have no rational explanation.
i have no real relationship with this past woman other that the occasional text/flirt/pics , we have talked about getting together for some "fun" but so far it hasn't happened. she also only lives a few miles from me and its very hard. I haven't even seen her in over a year but i still cannot let it go even though i know nothing will ever come out of this other thing other than the fantasy in my mind.
bottom line is I do not know how to let this feeling go, i know it sounds crazy after that long but to me it seems like yesterday. I desperately want to feel free of this but seems to be getting worse.
there is a lot more between the lines so any other questions i will be glad to answer
i am currently in my early 50's , married with 2 kids and have been having a problem that seems to keep getting worse. when i was in my early 20's i met a girl through a mutual friend, i was dating someone else and she was engaged at the time. we immediately had that attraction to each other and were pretty much inseparable for several years when out of the blue she left me for another guy. i was crushed lost 60 lbs, i'm 6 ft 2 and went from 200 lbs to 140. this was long before the time of cell phones or internet and had no way of contacting her or even knowing how she was doing.
fast forward to 1999, i had met someone and was about to get married she finds me, we hookup a few times and she calls occasionally just to checkup on me. she then finds me on facebook many years ago and we have kept in contact every few weeks and sometimes more. this past flame has never been married but constantly has a boyfriend she replaces every few years.
now about my wife, i met her over 20 years ago, we have built a very successful life together 2 great kids but something has always seemed missing to me, have never felt as close to her as this other girl from my distant past. the last 5 years or so have been increasing difficult to me, she knows something is wrong and is constantly asking but i have no rational explanation.
i have no real relationship with this past woman other that the occasional text/flirt/pics , we have talked about getting together for some "fun" but so far it hasn't happened. she also only lives a few miles from me and its very hard. I haven't even seen her in over a year but i still cannot let it go even though i know nothing will ever come out of this other thing other than the fantasy in my mind.
bottom line is I do not know how to let this feeling go, i know it sounds crazy after that long but to me it seems like yesterday. I desperately want to feel free of this but seems to be getting worse.
there is a lot more between the lines so any other questions i will be glad to answer
It doesn't sound like you want to let it go. You two crossed the line multiple times over the years, to the point that you've obviously never fully committed to your wife.
I think you are spending too much time on a fantasy and not enough on your real life. Try dating and romancing your wife and maybe you can have the relationship you are missing. Real life is harder, but also more rewarding!
I think you are spending too much time on a fantasy and not enough on your real life. Try dating and romancing your wife and maybe you can have the relationship you are missing. Real life is harder, but also more rewarding!
This is great advice!
Let it go, if you can.
I sometimes think about an ex from what will be 10 years this December. I even went and chatted with her for 20 minutes, when I was visiting back home about 12 days ago. There's a lot of things that remind me of her, even almost every day, but I don't want her back. Even if we were both single, it just wouldn't feel right. It would almost spoil memories of the way things were.
And I bet this much, if you had gotten hooked up with her again after this many years, it wouldn't feel the same after the fact. I would almost guarantee it. Appreciate the memories, but try not to harp on them or think about them too much, dude.
Just let ask you this. When you hooked up with her in 1999, did it really feel as good as when you were hooking up with her in the late 80's?
You're already being extremely disloyal to your wife. Cut it out. Put the flirting and pics etc back into your 20 year marriage, instead of devastating your wife with an affair. Have some decency.
Life is full of regret because we are human, and we cannot be perfect. There's no way to go back in time except to accept what already happened and continue to live on until the moment you cease to exist.
i am currently in my early 50's , married with 2 kids and have been having a problem that seems to keep getting worse. when i was in my early 20's i met a girl through a mutual friend, i was dating someone else and she was engaged at the time. we immediately had that attraction to each other and were pretty much inseparable for several years when out of the blue she left me for another guy. i was crushed lost 60 lbs, i'm 6 ft 2 and went from 200 lbs to 140. this was long before the time of cell phones or internet and had no way of contacting her or even knowing how she was doing.
fast forward to 1999, i had met someone and was about to get married she finds me, we hookup a few times and she calls occasionally just to checkup on me. she then finds me on facebook many years ago and we have kept in contact every few weeks and sometimes more. this past flame has never been married but constantly has a boyfriend she replaces every few years.
now about my wife, i met her over 20 years ago, we have built a very successful life together 2 great kids but something has always seemed missing to me, have never felt as close to her as this other girl from my distant past. the last 5 years or so have been increasing difficult to me, she knows something is wrong and is constantly asking but i have no rational explanation.
i have no real relationship with this past woman other that the occasional text/flirt/pics , we have talked about getting together for some "fun" but so far it hasn't happened. she also only lives a few miles from me and its very hard. I haven't even seen her in over a year but i still cannot let it go even though i know nothing will ever come out of this other thing other than the fantasy in my mind.
bottom line is I do not know how to let this feeling go, i know it sounds crazy after that long but to me it seems like yesterday. I desperately want to feel free of this but seems to be getting worse.
there is a lot more between the lines so any other questions i will be glad to answer
Seems like you like the thrill of cheating and the forbidden fruit.
I spent 21 years in an unhappy marriage while never being able to forget my first love, a girl I was with for 2 years in high school. Three years ago, I found her again after 28 years and we fell in love instantly, like we'd never been apart. I got divorced, and my first love and I have never been happier. We live together now and plan to be married in the next year or so.
For years, I thought of her as "the one who got away", but once I found her again, I knew she was just "the one". We only live once, and often that first love really is our ONLY true love. It's completely up to you as to whether or not you do something about your feelings for your first love, but always remember that it's better to go to your death bed regretting something that you did than regretting something you didn't do.
Enjoy this song, it went a long way towards helping me to reach my decision to find her again. Best of luck to you.
Are you willing to throw your marriage and kids away for someone who will have you as her bf, only to be replaced in a few years?
To be honest, you are being completely disrespectful to your wife.
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