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Not because you popped her cherry. Not because of the hair.
Because she thought (and after 3 years, why wouldn't she?) that you were trustworthy, and so she put her faith in you. And THEN her self esteem will plummet because some immature 24 yr. old is dumping her because of her HAIR.
Sooooooooooo wish she'd meet someone else, and it was HER that was trying to think of a way to let you down easy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
Dude...you're going to shatter her.
Not because you popped her cherry. Not because of the hair.
Because she thought (and after 3 years, why wouldn't she?) that you were trustworthy, and so she put her faith in you. And THEN her self esteem will plummet because some immature 24 yr. old is dumping her because of her HAIR.
Sooooooooooo wish she'd meet someone else, and it was HER that was trying to think of a way to let you down easy.
Dramatic much? It ain't like she is gonna find out she got dumped because of the hair if OP plays it correctly. If she can't take a break up like the rest of the world without getting shattered, probably should leave dating alone for a bit.
I think people are being hard on the OP. If you lose attraction, you lose attraction. Better for them both that OP doesn’t try to force something that ain’t there anymore. Hey dating is shallow and savage at times.
I completely agree with this. One cannot help to what they are attracted or by what they are repulsed, they can only discover it, and then in those with self awareness, evolve. IMO, the OP has a great opportunity to work on himself, like why he feels guilty for how he really feels. I myself would not want anyone to remain with me out of feelings of guilt, if they no longer felt they wanted to be with me, for whatever their reason(s). That is repulsive to me.
I actually think the reason OP wants to leave the relationship, is because he feels bad that he feels guilty for not being attracted right now. If he just accepted that currently, there is a lack of attraction, there may no longer be the urgency to break up. Attraction is fickle. It is not love. He feels bad and he thinks breaking up will make him feel better. Instead of feeling better first and then deciding if he wants to break up.
That said, I have a distinct feeling that the OP will run through this scenario many more times, as each woman to whom he first feels attraction inevitably changes in some way that he hadn't anticipated and doesn't like. He may learn to expand what attraction is, or he may not, but either way, being honest with oneself is always ultimately the best for everyone.
I'm totally expecting a future post where he runs into this girl a year from now and she looks AMAZING to him and he wants advice on how he fixes the biggest mistake of his life.
Last edited by typical_guinea_pig; 03-22-2018 at 07:25 PM..
So I am in a serious relationship with this girl for 3 years. We met at the University and hit it off from there. She's really a down to earth wonderful genuine person. She's never been with anyone before. I am 24 and she's 22 years old and we both live separately with our parents.
Just recently I started noticing her scalp is more bare and its like that every time I see her. I know she's losing quite a bit of hair over the time of our relationship. She has visited the dermatologist and it doesn't look like what he recommended is helping. Just as I thought our relationship was going well I start to find her less and less attractive. I'm torn away right now not really sure what to do. One part of me really wants to be with this girl cause she's amazing but other side of me wants to break up and move on. At the same time I don't want to breakup with her because of the guilt. I took her virginity and I know she will be shattered if I leave her and I dont really want to break her heart. Also she put alot of effort to be with me and loving me unconditionally. We have talked about our future together and about getting engaged in the future. And because this I have this guilt trip that hangs over me.
At this point I don't understand what I to do. I know people get cold feet during their relationships. I know it seems shallow but a woman's hair is really important to me. I have caught myself looking at other girls and admiring their beauty in my head or sometimes imagining to be with them.
Why would you be in a 3 year relationship with someone you don't love?
Dramatic much? It ain't like she is gonna find out she got dumped because of the hair if OP plays it correctly. If she can't take a break up like the rest of the world without getting shattered, probably should leave dating alone for a bit.
Do you have any tips for how he can "play" this girl so she doesn't know the real reason he is dumping her after three years of claiming to be in love with her and planning their future together?
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If she can't take a break up like the rest of the world without getting shattered, probably should leave dating alone for a bit.
