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I am sitting here at the kitchen table knowing that in about an hour my husband will be home from work. I dread it.
He will come home and then for HOURS I will hear about every single thing, even in the most minute detail, that happened that day.
Every conversation, every event. How long someone was gone to the bathroom. For hours. LITERALLY. I am not joking. FOR HOURS. Even worse, tomorrow morning, before I have had my first sip of coffee he will start it all over again. And I will hear for a second time, everything that happened.
Of course, he never asks me how my day went. Except to interrogate me about my whereabouts. Never. It's always about him, his thoughts, his feelings, his ideas. HIS INJUSTICES. (everyone he works with is an arsehole,you know). I dread every single day.
If I tell him I want to talk about something else other than his day, his job, his experiences, his opinions about EVERYTHING. He immediately gives me the silent treatment and will not talk to me for the rest of the night. Even ignoring my attempts to communicate. Even if I ask questions.
Is your marriage on the rocks or is this just a common, daily annoyance for you?
Are you considering divorce??
This is, and has been my life 24/7 for the past 22 years. Most of the time I can just ignore it and put in the appropriate "uh huhs' and "oh really". but lately I just can't seem to stand it anymore.
This is, and has been my life 24/7 for the past 22 years. Most of the time I can just ignore it and put in the appropriate "uh huhs' and "oh really". but lately I just can't seem to stand it anymore.
Tell him you don't care about his day at work and don't want to hear about it. When I start ranting about something on the TV my wife tells me to cut it out, and I do.. If he gives you the silent treatment you are ahead of the game. Keep telling him until he stops. He sounds like he loves to talk, so eventually he will come up with another topic. Since you've been playing along until now it must be kind of confusing for him.
Have you ever talked to him about how this stuff bothers you, in specific terms?
Yes, he gets very hostile and defensive. Blames me for it saying that "I asked" (because I usually greet him when he comes home, duh, with something like, Hi honey how was your day?) It is a simple greeting, not something that I intend to last for 6+ Hours.
Tell him you don't care about his day at work and don't want to hear about it. When I start ranting about something on the TV my wife tells me to cut it out, and I do.. If he gives you the silent treatment you are ahead of the game. Keep telling him until he stops. He sounds like he loves to talk, so eventually he will come up with another topic. Since you've been playing along until now it must be kind of confusing for him.
Sometimes, when we are going into town or having dinner out I ask him very, very nicely if we can't please talk about something else. He asks (in an irritated tone)...."like what"? Then he has nothing to say from that point on. I can either finish my drive or dinner in total silence or I can listen to him. There is no 3rd option.
This is, and has been my life 24/7 for the past 22 years. Most of the time I can just ignore it and put in the appropriate "uh huhs' and "oh really". but lately I just can't seem to stand it anymore.
Considering divorce? Suicide is more like it.
Do you still love this guy?
If not....well, it's hard to go through a divorce after 20+ yrs of marriage, I can attest, but for some, it's definitely worth it in the end. I am single now and very glad...
You have a right to a happy life...but go for divorce over suicide.
If you ARE suicidal, please call a helpline...or go to the nearest ER
If not....well, it's hard to go through a divorce after 20+ yrs of marriage, I can attest, but for some, it's definitely worth it in the end. I am single now and very glad...
You have a right to a happy life...but go for divorce over suicide.
If you ARE suicidal, please call a helpline...or go to the nearest ER
I've called suicide hotlines several times in the past. They go through their check list. "Have you attempted suicide in the past?" "Do you have a specific plan?" etc., etc., Once they get through their checklist, they always refer me to a local clinic (Burrell Behavioral Health), where you can obtain counseling on a sliding scale. I know the drill like I wrote it. They are useless.
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