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Jesus. Get a separation agreement! You can put all that detail in there, including how you split the mortgage, bills and temporary apartment until the divorce.
I cannot fathom why you don't have one of these right now. He is under no obligation to pay anything at all without a legal agreement
Write it up yourself if you have to and get it before your attorneys!
THANK YOU! That is much better than the other site I was trying to use. Working on it now.
So you have not met with an attorney yet???
Pulling a "separation agreement" off the internet isn't going to help you legally and could hurt you if your husband signs something your attorney later tells you is disadvantageous to you. It is for people who agree on how to divide their assets, and so far you two aren't exactly agreeing.
The only good it could do is help you organize your thoughts for when you meet with the attorney re: assets, what you want to happen, etc.
So, I have an attorney (yay!) and I did file for divorce (yay!). Now I have a new wrinkle.
I think I mentioned previously that we have a 17 yr old together. I set up a guardian account for him when he was about 5 yrs. old. I've been putting $50 in every two weeks, just me, not my husband . He is going into the Navy. He recently asked me to lower the access age from 21 to 18. I told him that I didn't think he would really need it as the Navy will be providing housing, etc. He said he wanted to use it to help his dad financially. He said his dad offered to make him a part-owner in the home he will be living in. This way our son will inherit it when he passes away. He proposed it as a financial investment. Keep in mind, our son will not be actually living in the house. Also, it is in the middle of the country, totally inconvenient for someone in the Navy.
So, explain to me how this makes any sense and this is ANYTHING but my STBX tricking my son out of money. I told him an investment property is when you have a renter that is paying you. Does your dad intend to pay you rent? No. Also, he is going to inherit that property anyway.
I really think the best thing for my son is to keep the access age at 21. I feel like this will be saving him from a bad decision. But I'm sure it would be construed as trying to screw my STBX over. Thoughts?
So, I have an attorney (yay!) and I did file for divorce (yay!). Now I have a new wrinkle.
I think I mentioned previously that we have a 17 yr old together. I set up a guardian account for him when he was about 5 yrs. old. I've been putting $50 in every two weeks, just me, not my husband . He is going into the Navy. He recently asked me to lower the access age from 21 to 18. I told him that I didn't think he would really need it as the Navy will be providing housing, etc. He said he wanted to use it to help his dad financially. He said his dad offered to make him a part-owner in the home he will be living in. This way our son will inherit it when he passes away. He proposed it as a financial investment. Keep in mind, our son will not be actually living in the house. Also, it is in the middle of the country, totally inconvenient for someone in the Navy.
So, explain to me how this makes any sense and this is ANYTHING but my STBX tricking my son out of money. I told him an investment property is when you have a renter that is paying you. Does your dad intend to pay you rent? No. Also, he is going to inherit that property anyway.
I really think the best thing for my son is to keep the access age at 21. I feel like this will be saving him from a bad decision. But I'm sure it would be construed as trying to screw my STBX over. Thoughts?
Can you ask your son to go to a third party for financial advise? Someone who is removed from the emotion of the divorce, but can offer an impartial viewpoint? Maybe pay for a financial adviser?
This attorney wants a $2500 retainer and charges $220 an hour. Is this typical?
Do you have EAP (Employment Assistance Program) at your job? If so, you might look at that resource. Mine offers discounts for legal services that would save you some cash.
I really think the best thing for my son is to keep the access age at 21. I feel like this will be saving him from a bad decision. But I'm sure it would be construed as trying to screw my STBX over. Thoughts?
Dang, your STBX is a jerk. Of course he's using your son to get to you. Your son does not have to invest in a property to inherit it. What a load of crap. Do NOT change the access age to 18. Your son clearly isn't mature enough to make good decisions.
He's falling for Dad's "buddy" routine without realizing he's being played.
So, I have an attorney (yay!) and I did file for divorce (yay!). Now I have a new wrinkle.
I think I mentioned previously that we have a 17 yr old together. I set up a guardian account for him when he was about 5 yrs. old. I've been putting $50 in every two weeks, just me, not my husband . He is going into the Navy. He recently asked me to lower the access age from 21 to 18. I told him that I didn't think he would really need it as the Navy will be providing housing, etc. He said he wanted to use it to help his dad financially. He said his dad offered to make him a part-owner in the home he will be living in. This way our son will inherit it when he passes away. He proposed it as a financial investment. Keep in mind, our son will not be actually living in the house. Also, it is in the middle of the country, totally inconvenient for someone in the Navy.
So, explain to me how this makes any sense and this is ANYTHING but my STBX tricking my son out of money. I told him an investment property is when you have a renter that is paying you. Does your dad intend to pay you rent? No. Also, he is going to inherit that property anyway.
I really think the best thing for my son is to keep the access age at 21. I feel like this will be saving him from a bad decision. But I'm sure it would be construed as trying to screw my STBX over. Thoughts?
Great news...an atty and a file as well!! Keep up the good work...
So, I have an attorney (yay!) and I did file for divorce (yay!).
Thank God.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SactoBankerGirl
Also, he is going to inherit that property anyway.
Keep trusting your gut. Of course it's a scheme.
Your STBX is obviously a manipulative a-hole, which we knew from the day you described his threat to harm himself if you left him.
It's a shame he gets to spend ANY time with your son, since one day he will do the exact same crap to him. I honestly would look into some counseling for your son as you go through this process because his dad is a head case.
DO NOT worry one whit about your husband or how things look. Do what is smart and what your attorney advises.
So, I have an attorney (yay!) and I did file for divorce (yay!). Now I have a new wrinkle.
I think I mentioned previously that we have a 17 yr old together. I set up a guardian account for him when he was about 5 yrs. old. I've been putting $50 in every two weeks, just me, not my husband . He is going into the Navy. He recently asked me to lower the access age from 21 to 18. I told him that I didn't think he would really need it as the Navy will be providing housing, etc. He said he wanted to use it to help his dad financially. He said his dad offered to make him a part-owner in the home he will be living in. This way our son will inherit it when he passes away. He proposed it as a financial investment. Keep in mind, our son will not be actually living in the house. Also, it is in the middle of the country, totally inconvenient for someone in the Navy.
So, explain to me how this makes any sense and this is ANYTHING but my STBX tricking my son out of money. I told him an investment property is when you have a renter that is paying you. Does your dad intend to pay you rent? No. Also, he is going to inherit that property anyway.
I really think the best thing for my son is to keep the access age at 21. I feel like this will be saving him from a bad decision. But I'm sure it would be construed as trying to screw my STBX over. Thoughts?
No, no and more hellnaw!
Children should NEVER be lenders to parents. EVER.
Your STBX is obviously a manipulative a-hole, which we knew from the day you described his threat to harm himself if you left him.
It's a shame he gets to spend ANY time with your son, since one day he will do the exact same crap to him. I honestly would look into some counseling for your son as you go through this process because his dad is a head case.
DO NOT worry one whit about your husband or how things look. Do what is smart and what your attorney advises.
Why is it a shame he gets to spend any time with his son? It sounds like they're having a good time together. He's going off to the navy in a year, why shouldn't he be able to spend some of this last time as a kid with his father? Divorce means the man is the ex husband, not ex father and not enemy of the family.
I like the advice someone gave of seeing a third party financial analyst. Let that person give an impartial evaluation and make the decision from there. I suspect an impartial analyst would side with you over the father in this case, but having that evaluation could help you defend against allegations of sabotage. And don't start getting all militant about custody, it won't help anyone.
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