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Grown ups should be able to do things and go places independently. My daughter is in Italy with 3 girlfriends right now. Last summer, her husband took their son and some friends to Europe. They have been married for 20+ years though.
I think the OP is in a new relationship and doesn’t understand why the girlfriend would rather be with others instead of him. He is right to feel uneasy about that. It sounds like she’s not that into him.
Heaven forbid she has other girlfriends.
Geez. It is not like she is takinga trip with another dude.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,633 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50660
I'm curious what these people do that they could take 2 weeks every 3 months to be together, and now she's taking a 10 day trip and plans to take more, frequently.
Seems like everyone is missing the most important aspect of the original post. Forget the trip - that's just noise.
The most important issue is that the two of them are about to move in together. There was an agreement and plans made. Now, the week before the move-in happens, suddenly there is a new requirement.
There's your red flag. The trip(s) and new requirement are simply a signal telling the guy moving in that this may not be the best idea.
They should break up. Not because she is going on girls trips, but because he is so jealous and not ok with it. I go on girls trips, even to Vegas, with just friends. I'm married. Before I was married, I dated men like this, who weren't ok with it. I broke up with them. No way was I going to justify going away with friends for the rest of my life. These two are not a match. My husband and I BOTH take trips separately, him with the guys and me with the girls. There is nothing wrong with doing this. He sounds needy and whiny and insecure. He needs to go find someone who wants to be joined at the hip 24/7. I will never for the life of me understand what the big deal is doing things, even trips, separately. If you trust someone, trust them, if you don't, don't be with them.
What is so silly is they will probably stay together, and continue fighting about this for years, when they should just not be together.
I don't know that there is enough relevant information here to form a reasonable opinion, either way. Neither of the two of them look good, as a result. He looks controlling; she looks like she is pulling away, at best.
Honestly, this looks like the makings of a very bad idea (him moving in with her). The first priority he should have is making sure he has his life in order (where he is going to work and live). As they have been apart as much as they have, the better idea would be for him to find a place of his own and THEN see if there is anything between the two of them.
The first 'girl time' trip is over 6 months away. Sometime around Christmas...and not even set in stone. Meanwhile your friend and girlfriend HAVE a cruise planned, which he's considering cancelling.
I really don't see how any of this is on the girlfriend. They're SUPPOSED to be going on a romantic cruise together in the next what? 2 or 3 weeks? And HE wants to cancel it? Sorry, but I think HE'S being very immature about it.
AND what does he plan to do about his job situation and where he's going to live? Seems like, to me, HE'S the one getting cold feet.
I sounds like this couple has met less than a dozen times. He's trying to control her because he is needy and desperate. I bet she thinks she is in an entirely different relationship than he does.
Your friend's behavior is precisely one of my reasons for avoiding "being in a relationship" like the plague.
My life and my time are my life and my time, and neither one belongs to anyone else. If I want to pick up and go somewhere on a whim I don't have to answer to anyone, or deal with a flurry of desperate texts/phone calls/voice mails from some idiot man-child who can't stand it that I am an independent woman who owns her own life and wants some alone time every so often. - And that's what your friend's girlfriend needs to say to him, too.
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