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He seems great and says all these wonderful and sweet things.
Whenever I’ll send him long text messages he would take the time to read it. I told him how all the other guys would never actually read them and give me a response that never made any sense. He’s like don’t worry I take my time to read them because I care about you Whenever i tell him about who I am as a person he tells me he admires me and says “you’re a keeper” or “wow that’s amazing, I highly value things like that.”
I even told him right off the bat that I won’t be hoping into sex because I would first need to be exclusive with a guy and feel a sense of commitment and respect. He assured me not to worry because when he likes a girl he thinks it’s more important to establish a healthy relationship before sex. And said he will be patient with me cause he doesn’t mind waiting and won’t ever pressure me into doing anything I don’t feel comfortable with.
Also sometimes we would argue and fight over somethings and we would tell each other things like "if you think... than we should stop talking", "leave me" or "find someone better." Despite that neither one of us do it and quickly makeup and we pretty much start talking again 2 minutes later like nothing even happened.
Whenever he doesn’t respond right away he would apologize and give me an explanation even if it’s 2 hours late. He even texts me a lot while he is at work and even going through a busy day.
TLDR: He always says sweet things. Doesn't mind being patient for sex and thinks establishing a relationship first is more important. When we fight we makeup moments later.
Also sometimes we would argue and fight over somethings and we would tell each other things like "if you think... than we should stop talking", "leave me" or "find someone better." Despite that neither one of us do it and quickly makeup and we pretty much start talking again 2 minutes later like nothing even happened.
Whenever he doesn’t respond right away he would apologize and give me an explanation even if it’s 2 hours late. He even texts me a lot while he is at work and even going through a busy day.
I think you both have good intentions. But neither of you strike me as particularly mature. It strikes me as though you guys are together because neither of you have found anything better.
This, and if so, how long have you been dating? If this is a new thing, you shouldn't be fighting at this early stage. Or to put it another way, it sounds like it's not a good match, if you're repeatedly fighting already.
Aside from that, it sounds like either he knows all the right things to say, or text, or he might be for real. Let me ask you this: do his actions match his words? Have there been any actions yet? (See the opening question, quoted above). The only way to know if he has good intentions is to start seeing him in person for awhile. Anybody can say anything over text. A 500 lb. gorilla could say that stuff over text. The proof, however, is in the pudding.
I wonder too how long you've been dating? This sounds like a brand new relationship...IF the two of you have even started dating. It just sounds like that very initial start of having feelings for each other in which everything's brand new.
BUT, hey, if you've been dating for 2-3 yrs already, that's nice that he's still like this. My now-fiance' & I have been together FOREVER & he still opens my doors, car doors, pumps my gas (even if we're driving MY car), & even holds my purse very often times when we're out in public because he wants my hands to be hands-free & be more comfortable.
Yes, those all sound like the right things to say (except for the "leave me", "find someone better" stuff - y'all need to find a more mature way to communicate), so he COULD be, yes.
On the other hand, this forum is full of stories about partners who started out that way and ended up being abusive once they reeled the other person in. So it's probably good for you to reserve a small amount of skepticism until you're sure it's for real.
So, really, there's not enough info to say. It's a good start. It's a question of whether it keeps up, or whether, as someone else said, the actions match the words.
- y'all need to find a more mature way to communicate), so he COULD be, yes.
-reserve a small amount of skepticism until you're sure it's for real.
So, really, there's not enough info to say. It's a good start. It's a question of whether it keeps up, or whether, as someone else said, the actions match the words.
The "extremes" of your interaction with him throw up red flags. On the one end, he says "all the right things" and adorns you with attention; yet, then, on the other, he (if I'm reading this right) tells you to "stop talking and leave him." To me, that response to a disagreement is irrational and extreme. No talking = no viable, healthy relationship. Based on what you wrote, he seems a bit insecure and, perhaps, needy. Tread lightly, my friend. I wish you the best.
The "extremes" of your interaction with him throw up red flags. On the one end, he says "all the right things" and adorns you with attention; yet, then, on the other, he (if I'm reading this right) tells you to "stop talking and leave him." To me, that response to a disagreement is irrational and extreme. No talking = no viable, healthy relationship. Based on what you wrote, he seems a bit insecure and, perhaps, needy. Tread lightly, my friend. I wish you the best.
Yup. It's manipulative, is what it is. Basically, he's saying "like it, or lump it". He love-bombs her with all the right words, then when his not-so-cuddly moments crop up, he says, "fine. You're free to leave", rather than discussing the issue. Highly manipulative.
The "extremes" of your interaction with him throw up red flags. On the one end, he says "all the right things" and adorns you with attention; yet, then, on the other, he (if I'm reading this right) tells you to "stop talking and leave him." To me, that response to a disagreement is irrational and extreme. No talking = no viable, healthy relationship. Based on what you wrote, he seems a bit insecure and, perhaps, needy. Tread lightly, my friend. I wish you the best.
To be honest I am the one who would say that kind of stuff. Cause I'll feel bad for fighting and would think he deserves better, this is how my ex and I would fight. He only started using it right after I said it first. I only do it to test loyalty and also I feel bad and don't want someone to put up with me. I'm not manipulating, well this is what I learned as a child in my family home.
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And, actions speak louder than words....
