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Is he an only child? How many people may be getting a cut of that estate?
I believe people should know everything about each others finances before marriage. I also think they should have a general idea of what the parents have but I'm thinking what help they may need not what you get when they die. It doesn't take long to blow through money when someone is sick.
My partner of 3 years has a low paying job. He doesn't want to change it because he likes what he does, but he is self employed and probably will never make more than 35k.
I earn twice that with my job and am starting to resent that I have to pay for things like our furniture or our vacations. We split our rent 50/50.
Now, his parents have over 1 million in assets (we saw their savings because they are the guarantor on our apartment). They said they didn't fully list everything because 1 million was more than enough to list. The dad's a doctor, and is working past retirement because he likes his job, and the mom doesn't work. They live very frugally, not a lot of vacations, and no fancy cars.
Is it safe to assume he's probably going to get a lot of money after they pass, which he'll then be able to start paying for things that I've always paid for?
I feel like if I knew for sure he was going to inherit a million dollars, I would not feel so resentful and angry that I work more than he does so we can afford to go on vacation.
Should it really matter what he does as long as he enjoys what he does? At least he's working. Don't be acting like his mom. Lol
It blows my mind that women are so hung up on equality these days yet still continue to get upset over men who make less money than them. Equality means the woman may be the higher wage earner and may have to pay a greater share of the bills--and that should be fine. Shouldn't it? Men have supported women 100% through the centuries. Why is it so hard for a supposedly "modern" woman...equality yadda yadda yadda...to have a partner making less money? If the shoe was on the other foot, I doubt you'd be upset!
I wanted to let everybody know I've have listened to the advice and my partner and I have a great solution! And it was quite straightforward actually!
I instead of us splitting rent 50/50, he's going to pay the amount he paid when he lived at his first place before we met, which was less than half of our current rent. I'm going to pay the balance of the rent. And that extra money he would have spent on rent he is going to invest every month. I could hear the sigh of relief in his voice and that made me so happy!
See what can happen when you have an actual conversation with the person involved rather than with strangers on the Internet?
Exactly. I know some incredibly generous well off people. I have also known some people wealthy a generation or two back and some with very very old money. Having money does not always mean it gets spent. On things or any other person. Sometimes, if you know the person well, it's kind of like the person is eccentric, buying great quality but not much and taking care of their clothing and possessions so they last forever.
Instead of resenting funding the extras, set your own savings goal, pay "yourself" first, then vacations, new furniture, etc comes out of what's left
This is fundamental. But the OP is in grad school, so maybe she's at the stage of getting a household set up, before launching a career and a retirement plan. We still don't know how old they are. And that doesn't explain the spending on vacations, either. Vacations are a luxury, unless they're basic camping vacations, or driving vacations taken locally/regionally.
If he’s “relieved” that the OP set up this magical savings plan, he’s not good with money anyway and s/he will always be resentful.
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