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Young insecure people have always done that. Affect an air of nonchalance and who gives a ****. It's been written about through the ages ("Callow youth") and people grow out of it when they figure out it doesn't serve them in navigating adult life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
"Decent points"? None of the things in her article or opinions seemed to coincide with my thoughts on the "dating scene" --and I'm closer in age to the OP than a 22 year old.
I don't understand why he's trying to relate to her experiences as "how it is" anyway, they grew up in a different time and see things differently.
I sure wish you would go out and get some real life experience, OP. Now there are 2 ex wives and some LTRs, before I think there was 1relationship, which makes more sense in explaining your guesses at how things are.
This.
The OP's article just wasn't my experience, but it has been 4.5 years since I've been in the scene. It wasn't my husband's experience, either. There are way too many variables and factors to draw such absolute conclusions about the "modern dating scene."
Sex with someone you don’t love is just glorified masturbation. I have more connection with my right hand than the last 2 women I had sex with, whom I met onine.
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Originally Posted by greatblueheron
What?
'What?"- which part? I agreed with you, I'd say he's going around having lots of rotten sex and then blaming his dating experiences on wimmenz playing games.
'What?"- which part? I agreed with you, I'd say he's going around having lots of rotten sex and then blaming his dating experiences on wimmenz playing games.
Women having sex with men they're attracted to after having met online (or the equivalent of a bar, party, club, social gathering, etc.) = bad and "what happened to the good ole days of when women were chaste and selective? (like <60s?) Downfall of society!!!!!!!!!!!"
Men having sex with women they're attracted to after having met online = good and "I'm totes not into the casual thing, but this nekked woman is in my bed and she kind of fell on me and I couldn't say no. And in my displeasure for what took place, it going against my dating practices and beliefs, I thought of more fun things like making grocery lists and planning a bathroom remodel. It wasn't even that fun because I don't, like, know them. But I totally only did it 'cause they wanted it. If they didn't want it, I wouldn't have been tempted or seduced."
Women having sex with men they're attracted to after having met online (or the equivalent of a bar, party, club, social gathering, etc.) = bad and "what happened to the good ole days of when women were chaste and selective? (like <60s?) Downfall of society!!!!!!!!!!!"
Men having sex with women they're attracted to after having met online = good and "I'm totes not into the casual thing, but this nekked woman is in my bed and she kind of fell on me and I couldn't say no. And in my displeasure for what took place, it going against my dating practices and beliefs, I thought of more fun things like making grocery lists and planning a bathroom remodel. It wasn't even that fun because I don't, like, know them. But I totally only did it 'cause they wanted it. If they didn't want it, I wouldn't have been tempted or seduced."
"she kind of fell on me and I couldn't say no".....
"Looking for a genuine connection"
but behaving like all the people you are chastising???
Having sex with just anyone who comes along???
Yep.
You're acting like you couldn't say no. OP, if you don't like the game and it goes against your "values," don't play. Or stay out of it all together. What you're doing is counterintuitive.
like the clueless losers that send multiple messages, with no response...but I guess it works because that's the only way they can get any attention from women, is to harass them until they finally respond, just to tell them to F* off, and/or block them...(and then they just make up another profile (because they've been blocked so many times), and then do it again.) ugh.
I presume you mean the same man keeps sending you messages over and over. I do send a lot of messages and I put in serious time writing individual, customized messages. But when the same match comes up again I look and if we have a history of unanswered messages from me I block the match instead of wasting my time because I already know she wasn't interested last the time. — I wish they would have replied "not interested" to the first message, or had blown me up by blocking me, so they wouldn't have wasted one of my future matches.
This is the part of OLD that really frustrates me, sending so many messages knowing only a small percentage will bother to reply. It is a lot of work to get that first date, and few of my new friends last past more than a few dates.
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Originally Posted by RbccL
Ok, now if this author had brought up this subject as a representation of "modern dating" then I guess my experiences DO coincide. Thanks for proving the fact that everyone's different, LH. It's so sexist to still believe that it's the the woman who always wants more. When she doesn't, the guys always left puzzled by his "feelings".
I presume you mean wanting to know the person better before having a sexual relationship. Attitudes often change as a person passes their 20s and enters their 30s and 40s. However some people never mature, they're stuck in their 20s maybe because they are incapable of becoming more mature. They aren't making emotional connections so sex remains as their single goal. I can't speak for women (although I believe I know) but some men get stuck at this phase because of their inability to form a serious relationship and sex is all that's left. And it probably works some of the time because some women are immature too.
My ultimate goal is sex, but with just one woman in a committed relationship. That is probably consistent with more mature people. Sex creates entanglements, and may create feelings that resemble love, but aren't. And of course every new lover is another turn of the STD roulette wheel (condoms are over 99% safe but that's not 100%). Yeah I had some one night stands in my 20s but I outgrew short term sex as my primary goal by my 30s.
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