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I recall the creepy thread started earlier, and I wanted to say I got into a conversation with a rather perceptive woman on this case. I've heard countless times, that a good looking man can get away with flirting with a woman in public or even approaching her, as opposed to a lesser attractive man...who comes off as creepy.
She said the lesser attractive men are less confident, look at you creepily from across the room, and simply don't know how to approach. And if they do approach, he's already creeped her out if he hadn't already.
Then he blames it on his looks and not how he comes off in his approach.
Right, but what she was saying is the creepiness excudes from his lack of confidence.
That doesn't make sense to me. In my brain, creepy equals potentially dangerous, stalker, might stab you in the neck with a poison dart during a date. Not having self confidence means more like someone who is just not as comfortable with the opposite sex, perhaps not as experienced, something like that. So I guess I define those two adjectives in a different fashion than the person(s) you spoke with.
The how and when are creepy, looks do not play into it. A good lookimg guy can be creepy. It has happened to me plenty of times.
Being awkward doesn’t make you creepy. But there is a little bit of validity on how lack of comfidence, if it manifests into poor social skills will make someone come across as creepy. E.g. not knowing when to go away when someone is sending off leave me alome/not interested signals.
I made the creepy thread and it had nothing to do with public approaches. Anyway, to answer the question unattractive and creepy are two different things. Unattractive often has to do with how you look and I will call it that. Creepy has to do with your approach. Someone could be attractive and still creepy.
I recall the creepy thread started earlier, and I wanted to say I got into a conversation with a rather perceptive woman on this case. I've heard countless times, that a good looking man can get away with flirting with a woman in public or even approaching her, as opposed to a lesser attractive man...who comes off as creepy.
She said the lesser attractive men are less confident, look at you creepily from across the room, and simply don't know how to approach. And if they do approach, he's already creeped her out if he hadn't already.
Then he blames it on his looks and not how he comes off in his approach.
Is there some validity to this?
I don't know, because IME, creepy is creepy; where the person rates on some scale on the genetic lottery is irrelevant. Good-looking guys can, and sometimes do, come across creepy. Maybe they're overly forward, maybe they have a vibe that doesn't conform with their words--like body language saying one thing, words saying another, or voice intonation saying something else. Maybe he's inappropriate with his words. Whatever. We've been through this umpteen times on this forum. An average guy with a warm smile can charm. End of story.
Creepy is a word that is completely overused. In recent times, it has been a word that has gained traction. The spike in the use of the word originates in the Millennial generation by women tending to be more socially inept than average to describe anything that takes them out of their safe space. A lot of times it's not actually creepy at all.
When a guy is creepy but attractive, it just takes a minute longer to get to the Creep Factor. Attractive may get him close enough... but creepy loses out every time.
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