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So you complain about the guys that are too picky, but what are your requirements?
Are you contacting guys on OLD that dont have jobs, or work dirty or low paying jobs? Guys that dont dress too well, or are visually below your league?
What requirements of yours are you sacrificing to give someone a chance?
People have preferences for a reason. They probably did meet people with fewer qualifiers and found out that they arent compatible. Someone who works at walmart might not be understanding to someone that works alot of hours in a corporate office because they dont have corporate career type ambition, which creates fights. So "ill only date people that are working up a corporate ladder".
When people have preferences, Im sure its for a reason.
As I said, I understand if you have basic standards like a job or to have a decent education (or any for that matter) but to be specific about something superficial is another story. Also I'm not saying anyone should date someone that's dirty and not attractive to you but don't expect someone that's just your type physically(there are lots of people dismissing by hair/eye color come on) AND also super successful, usually more than you so you can brag. Nothing mature or down to earth about these dating tactics.
I think as you get older, a person becomes less picky. Or at least, I am. Maybe it is not true for everyone. But, I have learned what is more important in life now that i am older. Life is short, and we only get 1 go around. To find someone to share your life with and to have fantastic memories is way more important than money and other things.
But, I commonly hear that people can be TOO picky. I think that is true. You will never find the PERFECT person that fits 100% of what you want. But, if you have chemistry, and they fulfill most of your wants - then that is great. Figure out a few priorities, and go from there.
I hear complaints from women that men only want a woman who looks like a model. I say... If a woman is super picky, then she better expect a man to be as well.
I was married to my last wife. She was super hot. She actually did look like a model. However, it turns out that she did not like sex. Like, she did not like it at all.and, it was not me or any lack of skill. But, she fooled me until after we were married. Then the truth came out. Do you know how difficult it is for a man to live with someone so pretty, but have them not like sex. Plus, she was addicted to the internet, and I basically had a roommate for years and years. I went everywhere by myself, and even took vacations alone.
Anyway, my priorities are different this time around. Yes, I do want someone cute, but I want someone to spend time with me. I was not looking exclusively for the model type this time. I want to go places and do things with a woman. And yes, I wanted someone who enjoys sex - after being married to my ex for 15 years and starving for it. I found that with my current girlfriend. She really gets me too. She has me figured out better than I know myself sometimes.
Thank you. That's pretty much how I see it. I also expected others to get wiser with age and therefore less superficial, which is almost the opposite as I stated before. Why look at all those small, inane things like status and money instead of concentrating on the interpersonal connection and being able to do nice things together. A perfect mate doesn't exist and sometimes it takes time to realize someone is right for you. After all there are friendships that turn into love after YEARS of knowing each other and on the other side a perceived "perfect" match up turns into a nightmare.
Thank you. That's pretty much how I see it. I also expected others to get wiser with age and therefore less superficial, which is almost the opposite as I stated before. Why look at all those small, inane things like status and money instead of concentrating on the interpersonal connection and being able to do nice things together. A perfect mate doesn't exist and sometimes it takes time to realize someone is right for you. After all there are friendships that turn into love after YEARS of knowing each other and on the other side a perceived "perfect" match up turns into a nightmare.
I think when some people say "Im more picky now that I'm older" means that they'll NOW not date a drug addict, alcoholic, abuser, cheater, etc.
Not sure that's really considered "picky" , but more expected by default and something you shouldn't have done to begin with, perhaps?
But since it's in what context, another context...yeah, I find the older you get, the less picky you get about superficial things like height or missing hair on a guy or something like that.
I'm sure a 20-something woman that's 5'0" demands a man no less than 6 feet, but let's say as she ages, in her 40s, she'll consider that 5'8" guy with receding hair because he's a good guy.
If you never tried it, how do you know anything about it?
She finds out from people like us who have done it for a while. I'm sure she's read dozens of posts or those little comments at the bottom of those dating review blogs.
I think when some people say "Im more picky now that I'm older" means that they'll NOW not date a drug addict, alcoholic, abuser, cheater, etc.
Not sure that's really considered "picky" , but more expected by default and something you shouldn't have done to begin with, perhaps?
See, to me, I would never date someone like that - even THEN. That is non negotiable, and always was. I also will not date anyone with a criminal record. I work in the criminal justice field.
But, despite that, I am not nearly as picky now when looking for a mate as I was before.
Last edited by MisterShipWreck; 10-12-2018 at 05:23 AM..
But are you really? I think most people/men looking for a relationship aren't hopeless romantics who expect to grow old together. They just want someone they really like for now or just enough that they don't feel the need to keep looking-for now. I would respect it much more, if that was the true reasoning behind it. Besides it's strange to me, how you can claim to seriously look for love (and I don't mean love at first sight) when you dismiss everyone immediately that doesn't fit the bill. If you completely don’t find them attractive or interesting at all right away fair enough, but otherwise why not get to know each other a little bit better, more dates before deciding they're not for you. I feel like that approach is too drastic and doesn't help in your quest. At least a friendship could come of it, if you give someone a chance.
See, to me, I would never date someone like that - even THEN. That is non negotiable, and always was. I also will not date anyone with a criminal record. Inwork in the criminal justice field.
But, despite that, I am not nearly as picky now when looking for a mate as I was before.
Right...sadly though, even the average looking women don't respond. I usually contact women that are equal to me in looks, but even they don't even see the equivalency and expect some "tall, dark and handsome" guy, but if they look in the mirror, they need to shed like 30 or so pounds.
I actually know a woman like this that lives in the very same small city...seen her at first on POF, emailed her, and of course like many, had ignored me.
I later ran into her at a Meetup group...figured I'd add her on Facebook but wasn't responsive. We spoke briefly at the events, but she wasn't really talkative.
She's got some extra weight on her, but has pretty eyes and a smile. She was really into this 40-something, marathon runner, good looking guy, very fashionable. I found out from him that she's into him, but he obviously has no interest in non-athletic/chubby women.
I smiled to myself and thought, "Hm, over 40, and she still hasn't learned that she cannot bring to the table what the other party already has". Some of these people, both men and women, really need to take a look in the mirror and realize "Hm, maybe I should start bringing it down to my level".
But are you really? I think most people/men looking for a relationship aren't hopeless romantics who expect to grow old together. They just want someone they really like for now or just enough that they don't feel the need to keep looking-for now.
This makes sense. Are you saying this is a good thing or bad thing?
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I would respect it much more, if that was the true reasoning behind it. Besides it's strange to me, how you can claim to seriously look for love (and I don't mean love at first sight) when you dismiss everyone immediately that doesn't fit the bill.
I had to read this thoroughly. Good point! If people are seriously, "looking for love" the would not be focused on the superficial/shallow.
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If you completely don’t find them attractive or interesting at all right away fair enough, but otherwise why not get to know each other a little bit better, more dates before deciding they're not for you.
Online dating has enabled the opposite. Kid in the candy store mentality. I feel like that approach is too drastic and doesn't help in your quest.
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At least a friendship could come of it, if you give someone a chance.
Meh, most men aren't looking for something platonic. Esp on online dating sites. I've got a handful of platonic female friends, that's enough.
Right...sadly though, even the average looking women don't respond. I usually contact women that are equal to me in looks, but even they don't even see the equivalency and expect some "tall, dark and handsome" guy, but if they look in the mirror, they need to shed like 30 or so pounds.
I actually know a woman like this that lives in the very same small city...seen her at first on POF, emailed her, and of course like many, had ignored me.
I later ran into her at a Meetup group...figured I'd add her on Facebook but wasn't responsive. We spoke briefly at the events, but she wasn't really talkative.
She's got some extra weight on her, but has pretty eyes and a smile. She was really into this 40-something, marathon runner, good looking guy, very fashionable. I found out from him that she's into him, but he obviously has no interest in non-athletic/chubby women.
I smiled to myself and thought, "Hm, over 40, and she still hasn't learned that she cannot bring to the table what the other party already has". Some of these people, both men and women, really need to take a look in the mirror and realize "Hm, maybe I should start bringing it down to my level".
Why don't you try someone far below you in looks so that they'll be excited to respond to you and you can stop complaining about your e-mails being ignored?
Why don't you try someone far below you in looks so that they'll be excited to respond to you and you can stop complaining about your e-mails being ignored?
Actually, I have. Just as an experiment. Still got nothing. lol
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