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Well I don't have a proper job I don't have any money I don't have any family living nearby I don't have any pets or children I don't have any savings I don't own my own home I don't like what I look like I have a learning disorder I don't have much to like
Flilp it. Would you be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have a proper job, no spending money, no close ties, no savings, no confidence?
Sounds more like you are getting all of your self-worth from the dude who has, more than likely, had enough.
*hugs* I'm sorry that you don't feel very good about yourself right now. It seems like your man being away has removed the distraction that he provides from your own problems and concerns. It now makes me understand why you so want to have a child right now--why so many young women from less than wonderful backgrounds want to become pregnant---it's to have someone to love and care about unconditionally. And to hopefully receive unconditional love in return. It's not wise, but I can sympathize to a degree with the sentiment.
Please work on you and find that you do, indeed have value and deserve to be loved before you bring a child into the world. Also, you need to find a way to communicate how you've been feeling with your boyfriend. Bottling it up inside will lead to more miscommunications and fights that you can ever imagine.
I don't I'm overwhelmed by life I don't want to go to work tomorrow but I want to so I can get the rent money for my boyfriend as I want to give it to him more than anything (he's been paying all of our rent for the past 8 months) hopefully when he's back I'll have like £800 ready to give him that will be 2 months worth of rent
How so??? Give me an example? From this post my boyfriend knows about none of my insecurities I let it all out here and keep it all inside my head
OK I have time.
From this post, no, but from your previous posts here are examples of how your insecurity affects your relationship and more evidence that you need therapy:
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
My boyfriend literally rings his parents everyday, sometimes the conversations are quick but when he video calls them (at least twice a week they go on for a few hours or longer)
He drones for the whole time and talks very loudly (I can hear him from the kitchen which is three rooms away)
...I find it really intrusive when he video calls as I have nowhere to hang out but the bedroom.
My boyfriend seems oblivious.
I just can't get used to it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
My boyfriend really wants to have a big night out for new years eve and to be honest I don't really feel in the mood to celebrate ...
I feel so unmotivated.
I don't want to ruin his fun and come across as boring because we are young and spending our first year living in a city..
My boyfriend seems so disappointed and let down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
Me and my boyfriend haven't spent any time apart since July. The most time we have spent apart is when we take showers (it's sad and messed up I know)
Before this I really valued my independence and of course I understand that this isn't my boyfriends native country so its not that easy for him.
We have petty arguements quite often and never have much to talk about...
I feel like I've taken him away from his family and home country and its so much pressure ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
Everyday it's just the same - him with his back to me, browsing his computer and I just feel so alone and unsupported and I'm so tired of life. Most days he wants to finish with an hour+ long conversation to his family in Bulgaria after disregarding me for his computer all day. I love him very much, and I know he sacrificed a lot so that he could be here with me and so that we can live together.. But the way he's treating me is not okay. I know we are both incredibly frustrated as we have waited so long to feel settled with jobs and like we are in the right place, but I want us to feel together.
Today... He's currently playing a game on his computer. Again, I'm ignored through day to night.
I don't know what I'm doing and I'm feeling so worn down because I'm so tired of not having any purpose or goals or even financial stability and feeling responsible for my boyfriend. I'm just so demoralized. I've burnt a massive hole into my savings too
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
My 19 year old boyfriend is a really, really smart, capable, and intelligent man... He is very intelligent, attractive and even more so likeable, I know that this leads him to create a very good first impression on people.
The problem with all of this is that it's tiring to be his girlfriend because I'm nothing like him... I'm unsuccessful, always missing the mark - I have a learning and communication disorder and I've struggled through life always facing rejections. Recently I was rejected from a minimum wage job (in which I have experience)...
I feel like everything is just handed to him. It's wrong but it pains me every-time he is successful because it just seems so natural and effortless to him and he doesn't even seem to react or seem pleased by it. I don't know how to cope just struggling for the tiniest bit of success and noticing the differences between us all of the time.
You can't even talk to him about your innermost thoughts. This was just last month:
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099
How can I discuss things with my boyfriend? Do we need to wait a few years until I'm in a better position? What even is there to discuss if all he cares about is stability?
Im just tired.. I want to start working towards goals with my boyfriend, but as I don't have a job I'm unable to do anything and I feel like nothing is ever going to progress until I sort myself out
Does this help make it clearer? It's been going on for years.
Flilp it. Would you be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have a proper job, no spending money, no close ties, no savings, no confidence?
Sounds more like you are getting all of your self-worth from the dude who has, more than likely, had enough.
I know that's why I was nervous about him going to Vietnam... What if he came to a sudden realization about how many better confident girls there are out there? He's been with me since he was 17 and I'm the only girl he's ever been with
Maybe I'm just not good enough maybe he'd had a better life with another girl with a proper job savings etc etc
Its not my fault I have a learning disorder and low confidence how can I help that I haven't had many positive experiences ir things working out in my life apart from my boyfriend and I don't know how to help myself
I could never leave my boyfriend he's my future I couldn't even leave him to visit my parents for the weekend , I wanted to come back after just 1 night at my parents
Thank you, I will look into these my boyfriend really wanted me to get therapy but I never did
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