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Sigh. You don't know that he had "lesions" or that he had any symptoms unless you actually SAW them. Because you know what? You can transmit herpes without any symptoms or ever having a freakin' lesion. This is STDs 101.
He's right though - it is just oral herpes. There are a surprising amount of children who have it, generally contracted because they got a kiss from a relative when they were infectious or shared a drink with an infected person. It doesn't ruin lives. If you know you have it, avoid sexual contact or kissing anyone when you have an outbreak, take the antiviral meds if they agree with you, and chill out. Eventually you will likely stop having outbreaks and your viral load will likely decline, though I'm not sure how that works given I don't actually have it (confirmed by a series of blood tests).
But don't demonize this guy because you are mad about spinning the STD wheel and losing.
I'm gonna say I'm 99.99% sure you don't have HIV, so chill OUT.
I convinced myself 20 years ago or so that I had contracted genital herpes. Stressed out about it to a ridiculous degree and actually panic-attacked my way into exhibiting psychosomatic symptoms because I was so worried about passing it on to someone else. I was convinced I was developing cold sores. Even my doctor thought it sounded and looked like herpes.
Tests revealed it was not. I had an allergic-type reaction to the soap I was using due to my very sensitive skin, and my "fever" was a slightly elevated temp that resulted from my frequent sinus headaches. Everything else was manufactured by my overactive imagination.
Dial it way back. Do some research. Call an STD hotline. I've found them to be more accurate than most doctors - seriously, the misguided stuff doctors have told me about STDs over the years could be a small book in and of itself. Most of them know very little about common diseases like HPV, HSV, etc. So much is devoted to HIV education, I think other stuff gets neglected. And information is being updated all the time on a lot of it.
Sigh. You don't know that he had "lesions" or that he had any symptoms unless you actually SAW them. Because you know what? You can transmit herpes without any symptoms or ever having a freakin' lesion. This is STDs 101.
He's right though - it is just oral herpes. There are a surprising amount of children who have it, generally contracted because they got a kiss from a relative when they were infectious or shared a drink with an infected person. It doesn't ruin lives. If you know you have it, avoid sexual contact or kissing anyone when you have an outbreak, take the antiviral meds if they agree with you, and chill out. Eventually you will likely stop having outbreaks and your viral load will likely decline, though I'm not sure how that works given I don't actually have it (confirmed by a series of blood tests).
But don't demonize this guy because you are mad about spinning the STD wheel and losing.
I'm gonna say I'm 99.99% sure you don't have HIV, so chill OUT.
I convinced myself 20 years ago or so that I had contracted genital herpes. Stressed out about it to a ridiculous degree and actually panic-attacked my way into exhibiting psychosomatic symptoms because I was so worried about passing it on to someone else. I was convinced I was developing cold sores. Even my doctor thought it sounded and looked like herpes.
Tests revealed it was not. I had an allergic-type reaction to the soap I was using due to my very sensitive skin, and my "fever" was a slightly elevated temp that resulted from my frequent sinus headaches. Everything else was manufactured by my overactive imagination.
Dial it way back. Do some research. Call an STD hotline. I've found them to be more accurate than most doctors - seriously, the misguided stuff doctors have told me about STDs over the years could be a small book in and of itself. Most of them know very little about common diseases like HPV, HSV, etc. So much is devoted to HIV education, I think other stuff gets neglected. And information is being updated all the time on a lot of it.
This. I...don't get the hubbub over it. If you're kissing folks without requiring "full panel STD blood work," you're at risk for contracting HSV. I don't know a single person who holds off kissing until they see STD blood work. The last three OB/Gyn practices I've been to don't even bother testing for it. It's not standard protocol to test for it. It's super easy to contract it. So easy in fact that my second daughter developed gingivostomatitis at 18 months after being around, you guessed it, other toddlers. That led to HSV. It's quite common among young kids. Heck, it's common among a significant number of people.
Its very easy to do a search and get the latest info on HSV1 & 2.
More than 50 percent of American adults have oral herpes, which is commonly called cold sores or fever blisters. Oral herpes is almost always due to HSV-1 infection.
About one in eight people ages 14-49 in the United States have genital HSV-2 infection. However, most people don’t know they are infected because their symptoms are too mild to notice or mistaken for something else.
I know a lady who has HSV2 and it is dormant. No symptoms in over 30 years. Still, she could pass it on to someone else. Her boyfriend of a few years has never shown symptoms so who knows. If you go to the CDC and look up all of the STD's it sort of makes you want to abstain completely. Especially when most people don't know what they have if anything. How many get tested for STD's when they have zero indications of any?
I did not see the lesions probably cause I was always intoxicated while hooking up with him and was not in a completely cognitively aware state. However I found it suspicious how he told me to kiss gently and I'm assuming he may have had swollen lips or lesions that caused his mouth to be extra sensitive
I did not see the lesions probably cause I was always intoxicated while hooking up with him and was not in a completely cognitively aware state. However I found it suspicious how he told me to kiss gently and I'm assuming he may have had swollen lips or lesions that caused his mouth to be extra sensitive
So basically you were both drunk off your butts and decided to hook up. I can’t really build up a lot of compassion. I’m sorry you contracted a STD, but what’s done is done. No use crying now. I would go talk to your doctor, tell them your concerns and get tested for everything that you may contact from being sexually actively with a person with STDs. He may have other issues. His disclosure of being Disease xyz negative wouldn’t army much weight. Ge5 tested.
While it may be a “common” virus to get, the guy should of been truthful with you and told you he had some STD and that he was having a active flare up. Get educated as to whatever you get diagnosed with and get whatever treatment may be available.
The point is that it doesn’t matter how easy it is to get. If a person has a STD and it’s actively going through a flare up or showing symptoms they should abstain from being sexually active with other people. And they should inform the other person they have xyz type of a STD or some other infection.
Good luck.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by commercial_fox
So I was sexually active with this guy for a couple of weeks (the last person before him was my ex 5 MONTHS ago and I did not experience anything like this before and that guy was all clear after STD testing). Two weeks after getting intimate with the new guy I noticed mouth ulcers accompanied by flu-like symptoms prior to it. My family doctor said it was indeed HSV and it transmitted through lesions either on my partner's mouth or penis.
After my talk with my family doctor I spoke to my (now former, we called it quits a week ago) partner. He was like “omg I had no idea” and he asked if we could meet up and discuss it, i obviously declined.
APPARENTLY he went to the doctors (immediately after I informed him) and he told me he got a blood test. Then he says how it’s not a big deal because 67% of the population have it and how I should continue seeing people (should not let it impact my love life) and don’t have to mention it blah blah...
Awhile back, he told me that he only [snip] 4 people this year and the last time was in May, “as well” (based on what I told him about myself). But last night he says the last person he was with was his ex aka the one he broke up with in the start of the year... which does not add up.
Anyways when I proceeded to talk to him about it he began to give me the cold shoulder and fully ignored everything I said. Instead of reassuring me anything.
Based on the symptoms I was scared that it maybe something far worse and confronted him about it and he told me and I quote "this is not hiv, its hsv, which is not dangerous, and it was not intentional and what you have is hsv and it is not even confirmed that it is me who has it".
I recall him telling me to kiss more gently even tho I was not rough, I'm assuming his lips must have been extra sensitive due to lesions (recall: family doctor said it was indeed HSV and it transmitted through lesions either on my partner's mouth or penis.)
How do you know you didn't have HSV before? It's not tested for on the standard STI screen.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-26-2018 at 09:13 AM..
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