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1. Continue to live this way and be miserable. Always wonder if he is pining for her.
2. Confront this head on - tell him you are not willing to be 2nd best and if he needs time to figure it out then by all means he should take it. Make sure he understands that you may not be there once he does figure it out.
It is time to confront this since this is still bothering you after seven months. Figure this out before any more time passes. This is a tough situation and I wish the best for you.
I agree on confronting him but not from anger. Tell him how concerned you are...he might be unaware how this affects you.
And he also might realize it's unfair to you if he keeps this up...
The truth is you want to protect yourself at all costs, no one else is going to...
You’re all right! I agree with every thing you said.
If I do tell him it upsets me, do you think that will help him get over her?
No. You are not part of his issue with her. If he actually cared that it upsets you, he would stop on his own. The fact that he is sneaky about it proves that he's gonna want her no matter what..
That may make him more conscious of his behavior around YOU, but you can't truly change the way he feels and thinks about her
As long as you are with him, you will have this insecurity lingering on...does his ex live nearby, that it is possible for them to re-connect?
No, she doesn’t live close thankfully, otherwise I don’t doubt something could happen. He actually refuses to go to the area she lives, but maybe that’s not a good thing, maybe he doesn’t think he can resist the urge to see her?
No. You are not part of his issue with her. If he actually cared that it upsets you, he would stop on his own. The fact that he is sneaky about it proves that he's gonna want her no matter what..
At least for the forseeable future, yes.
That’s hard to accept, like since things were going so well with him. I thought for sure now that he’s entirely with me that there’s no way he’d even still think of her.
You BF probably posted a pic and some time later, she "liked" it (innocently).
For him, it was like an addict getting a hit of crack cocaine.
...
If you confront him about his cellphone habits of late, he will become even
sneakier and more secretive. And you will lose sleep as you'll be attuned to
waking up every time he slides out of bed in the wee hours of the night.
CB, here is the bottom line. We all believe your man doesn't love you. He loves her. The only question is, are you prepared to live with him, knowing that? If you can live with being his backup plan, carry on. If you can find the self respect to leave him, go find someone who does actually love YOU. Who wants you as their first choice, not sloppy seconds. Otherwise, it's going to be years of the same old same old. You posting about how he started following her again, and all of us telling you he wants HER. Ad infinitum.
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