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Hey all sorry if this is long. Ive being with my gf for 5 months. She basically left her bf of one year for me. We had become good friends and she felt taken for grated with him.
She said she wanted to move slow and see what happens.
So i guess ive been burnt in the past so an oportunity arose to snoop on her messages. Not something im proud of but i knew her ex had messaged her a few times in the weeks after the broke up.
So i found out he messaged her 2 months ago asking if shed work things out. Her reply was "not right now". Now he knows she is with me. But he asked her if we were in a relationship and she said no were were not even though we are as far as im concerned.
She also told him she still had feelings for him and if she "figured out" what she wanted she would tell him but it would be up to him if he wanted her back.
She adamantly denied to him that we are in a relationship.
Tbf she did not initiate the contact and that was the last time he messaged her 2 months ago. But it looks like she is trying to keep that option open with him.
On top of this there is no evidence of our relationship on social media and they are still facebook friends. I changed my fb to say "in a relationship" but not specifically with her. I said id done this and she reluctantly agreed but hid it so only she could see it.
So its kind of got me wondering if she is keeping us low key to keep her options open with him?
Everything seems good between us though. We spend a lot of time together and she seems really interested in me. I wish i hadnt snooped on her messages but after reading them i realised the hidden fb status could be part of the bigger picture. She simply told me when she hid it that she did not want to hurt her ex.
So i guess the question is do i stay and see if this works out or not. Everything seems good.
Hey all sorry if this is long. Ive being with my gf for 5 months. She basically left her bf of one year for me. We had become good friends and she felt taken for grated with him.
She said she wanted to move slow and see what happens.
So i guess ive been burnt in the past so an oportunity arose to snoop on her messages. Not something im proud of but i knew her ex had messaged her a few times in the weeks after the broke up.
So i found out he messaged her 2 months ago asking if shed work things out. Her reply was "not right now". Now he knows she is with me. But he asked her if we were in a relationship and she said no were were not even though we are as far as im concerned.
She also told him she still had feelings for him and if she "figured out" what she wanted she would tell him but it would be up to him if he wanted her back.
She adamantly denied to him that we are in a relationship.
Tbf she did not initiate the contact and that was the last time he messaged her 2 months ago. But it looks like she is trying to keep that option open with him.
On top of this there is no evidence of our relationship on social media and they are still facebook friends. I changed my fb to say "in a relationship" but not specifically with her. I said id done this and she reluctantly agreed but hid it so only she could see it.
So its kind of got me wondering if she is keeping us low key to keep her options open with him?
Everything seems good between us though. We spend a lot of time together and she seems really interested in me. I wish i hadnt snooped on her messages but after reading them i realised the hidden fb status could be part of the bigger picture. She simply told me when she hid it that she did not want to hurt her ex.
So i guess the question is do i stay and see if this works out or not. Everything seems good.
So you have the truth you thought you knew, and the truth you found out about when you snooped.
You're the only one who can decide this. Everything seems good, yet you have mentioned times when you felt disrespected by her. Do you FEEL like you're a placeholder?
It doesn't sound like y'all started out on the best terms anyway. I would rethink things if I were you.
Hey all sorry if this is long. Ive being with my gf for 5 months. She basically left her bf of one year for me. We had become good friends and she felt taken for grated with him.
She said she wanted to move slow and see what happens.
So i guess ive been burnt in the past so an oportunity arose to snoop on her messages. Not something im proud of but i knew her ex had messaged her a few times in the weeks after the broke up.
So i found out he messaged her 2 months ago asking if shed work things out. Her reply was "not right now". Now he knows she is with me. But he asked her if we were in a relationship and she said no were were not even though we are as far as im concerned.
She also told him she still had feelings for him and if she "figured out" what she wanted she would tell him but it would be up to him if he wanted her back.
She adamantly denied to him that we are in a relationship.
Tbf she did not initiate the contact and that was the last time he messaged her 2 months ago. But it looks like she is trying to keep that option open with him.
On top of this there is no evidence of our relationship on social media and they are still facebook friends. I changed my fb to say "in a relationship" but not specifically with her. I said id done this and she reluctantly agreed but hid it so only she could see it.
So its kind of got me wondering if she is keeping us low key to keep her options open with him?
Everything seems good between us though. We spend a lot of time together and she seems really interested in me. I wish i hadnt snooped on her messages but after reading them i realised the hidden fb status could be part of the bigger picture. She simply told me when she hid it that she did not want to hurt her ex.
So i guess the question is do i stay and see if this works out or not. Everything seems good.
You have been dating for 5 months and this contact was from 2 months ago, when you had been dating for 3 months. Unless there had been verbal communication that you wanted to be exclusive and she verbally agreed (like going steady, engaged, or whatever) then you guys are just dating and she can communicate with anyone she wants, and leave whatever doors open that she wishes to leave open.
Sometimes a girl will do this just so she doesn't have to go off on her ex like some psycho-commando which she hasn't got any reason to do if you haven't made anything between you official yet.
Maybe she’s feeling more invested in you than him now. You haven’t been dating long enough to decide things for the long term. However, you can inquire where she sees it going.
Hey all sorry if this is long. Ive being with my gf for 5 months. She basically left her bf of one year for me. We had become good friends and she felt taken for grated with him.
So its kind of got me wondering if she is keeping us low key to keep her options open with him?
Read your first paragraph. The answer to your question is a very obvious YES! She's not only keeping her options open with him, but keeping her options open for anyone else. She left a year long BF for you. She'll leave you if she thinks there is a better option.
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