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When you're older (I'm 67) death has a way of shrinking the pool of available partners.
actually it's the opposite, since women statistically outlive men by 15 - 20 years that means your competition is dying off at a faster rate than the women in your "pool of available partners" you are now reaching the age were that should be becoming noticeable. for the last 90 or so years there has always been way more widows than widowers. prior to that it was flipped only because the number 1 killer of women was childbirth.
I'm on my way to 26, and I'm in the mind frame of not wanting to deal with anyone else's "crap" to be completely honest. I don't have much patience and tolerance as it is and I'm a very sensitive person. It's easier for me to stay distant, so I can protect my own sanity.
Lord yes. I got the "best" catch of my social group when I found my ex, but my social group was a bunch of LARP (Live Action Role-Play) participants, running around pretending to be vampires in 1997 at Northern Kentucky University. Where I was not a student, just a kid showing up because a friend of mine was into it. Wow...top dog of the LARP crowd...man, that's a winner, huh?
But at the time I did not know how else I was likely to meet people besides the social groups I had, we didn't have the internet then, at least not like we do now...so.
At around that time I was also a "top dog" among a group of vamps(Akron University), a ventrue/glasswalker abomination.
I'm on my way to 26, and I'm in the mind frame of not wanting to deal with anyone else's "crap" to be completely honest. I don't have much patience and tolerance as it is and I'm a very sensitive person. It's easier for me to stay distant, so I can protect my own sanity.
And at on my way to almost twice your age (!) I’m feeling the same. The guy Im actually excited about right now messaged me while I was viewing his profile online with: “so you checked out my profile but didn’t message. Do you mind if I ask why?†I like that, and explained that when I saw his age, I decided I suddenly felt like I would be approaching like a cougar, hate that word, and didn’t feel like feeling weird. Don’t understand, that’s ok.
He said he hadn’t looked at my age and thought we might have fun going to one of the places I mentioned in my profile, can we do that?
Ha! Yeah. So, we met, and now official “date†(hate that word too), Friday. It’s really not an age thing though, I have way more confidence to say what I’m thinking at this age, and in the end that makes things easier. Less time wasted.
I actually try to think back to what my criteria were when I was younger and I'm not even sure. I mean, I had some I think? But...
I liked guys who were unusual looking. Yet on occasion I was willing to have a go with a "normie."
I was attracted to the sense of social dominance that my ex displayed (over the pretend roleplay vampire people at the college across the river, god help me) but the longer I knew him, the more I saw it for the narcissistic display it was (in HIS case.) And I certainly had fooled around with shy and introverted unpopular guys at times. It wasn't a qualifier really.
I downright fetishized virgin guys but had some partners who were not.
I'm not sure if I really had much in the way of dealbreakers. Religion. That would have done it. Alcohol use. Just just excessive drinking, but any drinking. My ex didn't drink for the first several years we were together, he knew how I felt about that. Later after I was "stuck" he didn't care.
Fast forward to post-divorce... I had a long and growing list of requirements for a relationship. But I was willing to have the occasional more casual connection with less in the way of standards, though there still were some.
Granted...I was older, but was I "older?" Only 36. Still. I definitely was willing to live on my own rather than commit and escalate with someone who was not just right. Despite my laundry list of needs, it still wasn't impossible to find the right match.
Eh, but I've found that the 40 something single crowd take fitness pretty seriously. Not too many people did in my 20s (mid 90s or thereabouts). Now a huge percentage of the people on dating apps belongs to a gym, does barre, yoga, pilates, runs races, etc. It's odd to run into someone not working out at least a few times a week. Lots of us, it's part of our every day routine. I couldn't say that among the people I met 25 or so years ago. So while we of course looked younger, I can't say we were in better shape. This, of course, may be regional.
Haha, its all of the married people that are letting themselves go!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by Giants6
Haha, its all of the married people that are letting themselves go!
And people not actively trying to date. There are exceptions, but overwhelmingly people seem to be very diet and fitness conscious that I see on dating sites and run into socially that are single. And again, this may be regional.
Last edited by timberline742; 03-08-2019 at 05:59 AM..
And people not actively trying to date. There are exceptions, but overwhelmingly people seem to be very diet and fitness conscious that I see on dating sites and run into socially that are single.
Being single and/or not having young kids means you also probably have more time to make working out part of your daily regimen. I'm assuming the 40 something single crowd is made up of people who are obviously single, but also either don't have kids, have older kids, or are divorced and only have their kids half of the time, leaving plenty of time to focus on fitness and making healthy meals.
In my life the time I looked the worst physically was between the ages of 28-35, when I was married, with 2 young kids and a demanding full time job with a long commute that I was afraid I would lose at any second due to the lousy economy. The last thing I thought about was exercising, outside of maybe a couple of miles on the treadmill once or twice a week. I also ate terribly because kids are picky and I was too lazy to make separate meals for myself. Guess I'm having another grilled cheese sandwich tonight! Today I'm still married, but I'm now in my early 40's with 2 kids around middle school age, and while I still work a full time job, its from home and is from about 5a-2p. I purposely looked for a job that would give me the flexibility to do things like work out more, and with my kids being older and way less needy I have more time to focus on myself. I can honestly say I'm in the best shape of my life-- at an age when my metabolism should be starting to slow down. I exercise every day and eat super healthy, while I see a lot of married guys my age sporting a spare tire around their waist.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,007,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giants6
Being single and/or not having young kids means you also probably have more time to make working out part of your daily regimen. I'm assuming the 40 something single crowd is made up of people who are obviously single, but also either don't have kids, have older kids, or are divorced and only have their kids half of the time, leaving plenty of time to focus on fitness and making healthy meals. t.
Never really thought about it much, but that makes sense.
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