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This is offered from an old person's POV, so take it with whatever size grain of salt you think it warrants. It's true that you are likely to have sex many times in your life and that the first time will fade into the background, but you only get one first time. You will remember it your entire life, so it's worthwhile to make it a pleasant memory.
I don't understand why it's less uncomfortable to just let a guy stick his dick in you than to talk about it a little ahead of time, although that's what I did and have regretted it ever since. Find the courage and self respect to tell the guy it's your first time and plan something nice.
I can't believe no one's mentioned it, but it hurts like hell your first time. You will want a guy who cares about you and is patient and considerate and willing to go slow/at the pace you want. A guy who does not know that you're a virgin and that you need this will not do that, so you have to tell him.
I can't believe no one's mentioned it, but it hurts like hell your first time. You will want a guy who cares about you and is patient and considerate and willing to go slow/at the pace you want. A guy who does not know that you're a virgin and that you need this will not do that, so you have to tell him.
There have been a few posters who have mentioned it. But a lot probably haven't because it's not suppose to hurt. It's perpetuated by lack of education. Often the first time people have sex is when they are clumsy teenagers or young adults who don't know what they are doing and don't have a good understanding of how sex works.
I can't believe no one's mentioned it, but it hurts like hell your first time. You will want a guy who cares about you and is patient and considerate and willing to go slow/at the pace you want. A guy who does not know that you're a virgin and that you need this will not do that, so you have to tell him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
There have been a few posters who have mentioned it. But a lot probably haven't because it's not suppose to hurt. It's perpetuated by lack of education. Often the first time people have sex is when they are clumsy teenagers or young adults who don't know what they are doing and don't have a good understanding of how sex works.
I mentioned it. Yep i was a clumsy teen, and i certainly didn't know then what i know now. But even though my body knew what it was doing...i remember because i thought i wet myself, it still hurt a lot and took a few attempts. I should add that he was somewhat blessed in that department, I'm sure that added to the pain.
I had the best first time you could possibly have and I was very turned on but it still hurt like hell. I can't imagine what it would feel like if I wasn't or if the guy wasn't attuned to me. He was average size and it took several attempts.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
I had the best first time you could possibly have and I was very turned on but it still hurt like hell.
That stinks.
Lots of young women don't have a hymen though before having sex (which can be a big cause of the pain). My 1st (we were each other's first) didn't have any pain... we did awkwardly learn together though, which was corny but fun.
Lots of young women don't have a hymen though before having sex (which can be a big cause of the pain). My 1st (we were each other's first) didn't have any pain... we did awkwardly learn together though, which was corny but fun.
NO pain at all??? That's crazy. I can't even imagine.
I have no idea if I had a hymen or not and the OP probably doesn't know either so she's better safe than sorry. Tell him.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants
Nope, no pain here, either. Just a sensation of involuntary rejecting a foreign object.
I can (but really can't) imagine. It must be so weird. Haha.
So, I'm WAAAAY too old to ever run into anyone in such a setting that is anything close to a virgin (thankfully), but I would want to know for a couple of reasons, take them for what you will:
1) So I would be extra extra slow and know how to read potential hesitancy. I would be even more communicative than normal.
2) I would give extra thought to whether I want to. I guess I'm biased, but my first time was great and it was both our first times and we are buddies to this day (about 30 years later) and I would want the other person to have the experience to be with someone that really cared about them (like I did mine), so, if I didn't, I might back out...
Not sure those are good reasons or bad, but just my thoughts at the moment.
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