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How can you tell if someone really loves you? I mean by their actions not so much what they say. I know as people age they may latch on to a person out of fear of being alone not so much that they love the person.
If the partner has financial resources do you think that flowers or a gift every now or then is relevant to showing you care? In the past my experience has been that I enjoy surprising my partner with a thoughtful token even picking up or making their favorite dessert to make them happy. I did this for a while with my current partner and he appreciated it by saying that’s so sweet but never reciprocated with anything no matter how small. No flowers for Valentine’s Day or birthday but he did buy a nice card and a practical gift. So I stopped.
I noticed that when his adult kids came for dinner they came empty handed even when it was his birthday. No card either Thought that was weird (and sad).
Same thing when I asked him to join my son and I for my sons birthday at a restaurant. Didn’t expect him to bring my son a gift but a card would have been nice.
How can you tell if someone really loves you? I mean by their actions not so much what they say. I know as people age they may latch on to a person out of fear of being alone not so much that they love the person.
If the partner has financial resources do you think that flowers or a gift every now or then is relevant to showing you care? In the past my experience has been that I enjoy surprising my partner with a thoughtful token even picking up or making their favorite dessert to make them happy. I did this for a while with my current partner and he appreciated it by saying that’s so sweet but never reciprocated with anything no matter how small. No flowers for Valentine’s Day or birthday but he did buy a nice card and a practical gift. So I stopped.
I noticed that when his adult kids came for dinner they came empty handed even when it was his birthday. No card either Thought that was weird (and sad).
Same thing when I asked him to join my son and I for my sons birthday at a restaurant. Didn’t expect him to bring my son a gift but a card would have been nice.
Should I say something to him or just accept it?
This might be a case of either differing "love languages" or a person who is simply oblivious towards gift and card giving niceties and occasions.
Have you talked with your partner about this? With some people, hints and leading by example don't work but direct conversations do to resolve these sorts of expectations and concerns.
The fact that there is no tradition being done of exchanging gifts or cards is okay since there's an agreement between all parties involved. I think it's weird that your partner didn't know to tell you his tradition of not giving gifts beforehand. Ask him if this is how he's lived his entire life under his parents. Be direct. Tell him how most of society has formed a tradition of giving gifts and see how he reacts. If he cuts you off or doesn't value your opinion, then you may have your answer.
It all depends on how long the OP has been with this guy. If it's only a few months, then yes should be mentioned. Many advice found online on having difficult conversations with a partner.
If it's longer, a year or more, let it go. Too late at that point.
How can you tell if someone really loves you? I mean by their actions not so much what they say. I know as people age they may latch on to a person out of fear of being alone not so much that they love the person.
If the partner has financial resources do you think that flowers or a gift every now or then is relevant to showing you care? In the past my experience has been that I enjoy surprising my partner with a thoughtful token even picking up or making their favorite dessert to make them happy. I did this for a while with my current partner and he appreciated it by saying that’s so sweet but never reciprocated with anything no matter how small. No flowers for Valentine’s Day or birthday but he did buy a nice card and a practical gift. So I stopped.
I noticed that when his adult kids came for dinner they came empty handed even when it was his birthday. No card either Thought that was weird (and sad).
Same thing when I asked him to join my son and I for my sons birthday at a restaurant. Didn’t expect him to bring my son a gift but a card would have been nice.
Should I say something to him or just accept it?
Some people express love with their action - day after day showing care, devotion and affection. Flowers and gifts - maybe, on very special occasions.
Getting flowers and gifts doesn't necessary means that you are loved.
I know of people bringing flowers and gifts because they feel guilty... (there might be many reasons for that incl. neglect, domestic violence, cheating etc.)
I find bringing a card for birthday or other occasions, when attending the event in person, unnecessary. Unless everyone is signing it, to make it memorable.
A card is sent in case of absence, when someone can't say best wishes in person.
Going to birthday party or any other invitation empty handed is very rude, though.
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