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That's just being an ignorant shallow man that I would never ever date in a million years. It's one thing to admire from afar, but if a guy is only going to ask out a woman based on her hot (to him) looks, then that is a man that I don't want in my life.
Please point out where I said that is the case. I would never go out with someone just because of a certain trait I thought was hot. I am talking about INNITIAL ATTRACTION HERE. When you get to know someone, things can change, but innitial PHYSICAL attraction? Is just that, PHYSICAL!
I like geeky girls...would I want to have anything to do with any geeky girl? No. But that is the type that I am INNITIALLY ATTRACTED TO.
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My boyfriend loves the inner me first, and I feel the same way about him. Many nights before he drifts to sleep, he will tell me how much he loves my mind and the person that I am. He also tells me frequently that I am his best friend. And with a love like that, we won't have any problems living happily ever after together and I will have no need to get botox or plastic surgery later on in order to keep his love.
I realize my attitude is rare but this is the winning relationship formula that works for me. I can admire the way attractive men look from a distance, but when it comes to a man that I will actually consider dating, I value his brains and personality a lot more than his looks. I have never looked for a hot trophy boyfriend to show off to my girlfriends, I just want a guy that pleases me and is my best friend and lover. I find that if the love, affection, like and respect is there, then the making love part is always great. I also find really beautiful people to be very conceited, shallow and not very good friend material.
And I was raised by my parents to value smarts above looks, even for myself. I am one of three daughters and my parents never put any great emphasis on our looks even though we are all above average in that department. Instead, we were encouraged to study hard and develop our other skills and attributes. And I like the way we turned out, especially me!!
Okay, aside from the fact that pickup lines, in general, are stupid, what would be so bad with someone INNITIALLY being attracted to you because of your race? Granted, if he just wanted to "bang" an Asian woman, then yes, I can understand that, but if that was what he thought was attractive about you and lead him to get to know you better and see your other qualities and personality, what would it matter? What if you were not wearing make-up (not calling you over or under madeup, just an example) and he was attracted to you because he likes women who don't wear makeup? Who cares?
I'm half black, and if a woman was innitially attracted to me because I am half black, I wouldn't care. I would not want someone to want to sleep with me and forget me because I am what they want, but if that's what innitially attracted them to me and it lead to her liking me as a person, than so what?
I know, some guys are into blondes etc... however it just has always creeped me out if I see that a non-Asian has a pattern of dating Asian women or is into Asian culture like being into martial arts. I just don't feel good about it, so I exit. No biggie for either of us, as there are millions of other single Asian women out there to date. lol And I don't feel at all Asian, I just feel like a plain ole American woman.
I'm being very picky here. I also just don't date any guy that would come up to me and ask me for a date. I always go very slowly and see how I like them as a friend first before considering them for a romance. I've never been a fan of that whirlwind romance nonsense. And when I am single, I am very happy with being alone and it has never bothered me to be without a man in my life for several years. I love my own company and I am a complete human being by myself. My boyfriend compliments who I am. If we parted ways, I would indeed be very very sad, but I would also be okay and not fall apart. And I would probably be alone for years before I found someone else I connected with enough for me to be in a relationship with. I will not date a man that I feel we can only have a mediocre relationship with. I don't need sex that much. I need my brain to be happy first.
Otherwise, what's cool about me and my boyfriend is that if our souls were put into other bodies, we would still love each other. If I were white or black, we would both still love the inner persons that we are.
Otherwise, what's cool about me and my boyfriend is that if our souls were put into other bodies, we would still love each other. If I were white or black, we would both still love the inner persons that we are.
I'm sorry, but since there's no way for this theory to be tested, you'll never know... will you...
however it just has always creeped me out if I see that a non-Asian has a pattern of dating Asian women or is into Asian culture like being into martial arts.
I love martial arts and watch Asian movies all the time.
As I said before, I will date any race. I do have preferences though, Asian women being one of the top three.
What I have noticed is, while men are, as a whole, all over the place with what they like in a woman, women are, by and large, into the same kind of guy, i.e., tall, dark and handsome.
I think there are other ways to stereotype women as well: Only like men with money. Only like men with a large penis. Only like men who are cocky. Etc.
I think that when it comes to a one-night-stand, the tall dark and handsome rule probably applies pretty well. If you just want a piece of meat to grind on for a night, you are less likely to pick the short quiet guy with acne. In a relationship, anything goes for women. Seen plenty of hot women with a weirdo looking guy, and you're thinking "what the hell?"
Moral of the story is, if you're a man and you want to have a lot of one night stands with hot women, be tall, dark, handsome, and cocky. If you want to settle down (as you have mentioned, victorianpunk) you should focus more on other deeper qualities, and making a woman feel good about herself for who she is.
I'm sorry, but since there's no way for this theory to be tested, you'll never know... will you...
Lol no kidding. Plus we are only hearing it from the female side. Knowing men, I bet this guy is sexually attracted to her partly because she is asian. I bet he gets a boner just thinking about her ethnicity. Though we'd have to ask him in private to get a real answer, I'm still willing to bet that the 'woman' part of this relationship is not quite in touch with the 'man' part.
Women tend to believe their boyfriend/husband are just as 'intimately linked' and 'lovey-dovey' as they themselves are. Men are men, even the greatest boyfriend on earth. When he first met MIU, I am quite sure he was attracted to her for her asian look.
I think there are other ways to stereotype women as well: Only like men with money. Only like men with a large penis. Only like men who are cocky. Etc.
I think that when it comes to a one-night-stand, the tall dark and handsome rule probably applies pretty well. If you just want a piece of meat to grind on for a night, you are less likely to pick the short quiet guy with acne. In a relationship, anything goes for women. Seen plenty of hot women with a weirdo looking guy, and you're thinking "what the hell?"
Moral of the story is, if you're a man and you want to have a lot of one night stands with hot women, be tall, dark, handsome, and cocky. If you want to settle down (as you have mentioned, victorianpunk) you should focus more on other deeper qualities, and making a woman feel good about herself for who she is.
You miss what I am saying. A woman, no matter who she is, will be hot to somebody...if a man who's 5'2, bald, has bad skin and a high pitches voice meets a woman who likes him for who he is, than still, in the back of their minds, he knows and she knows that he is not hot, not sexy, and she is only with him for his mind.
Wouldn't the ideal of being with someone who does not find you sexy depress you?
You miss what I am saying. A woman, no matter who she is, will be hot to somebody...if a man who's 5'2, bald, has bad skin and a high pitches voice meets a woman who likes him for who he is, than still, in the back of their minds, he knows and she knows that he is not hot, not sexy, and she is only with him for his mind.
Wouldn't the ideal of being with someone who does not find you sexy depress you?
A guy like that (as you described) would nut in his pants just for the opportunity to be with a woman. He doesn't care that she's just with him for his 'mind' (whatever that means to you people, jesus.) You can't separate a mind and a body, so if you are with someone for their personality or body or some combination, it doesn't matter. You are with them regardless.
Last edited by johnycakes; 05-27-2008 at 04:35 AM..
We have all seen guys who have the "weirdest" taste in women. Guys who like big girls, guys who like older woman, white guys from Northern Europe who come to America for, amongsth other things, black women ( I have met three such men in my life) guys who like dorky girls (that's me) guys who dig bald women etc etc.
What I have noticed is, while men are, as a whole, all over the place with what they like in a woman, women are, by and large, into the same kind of guy, i.e., tall, dark and handsome. For men, however, there is no equivalent desirable trait.
Look at it this way: we have all heard of "chubby chasers", that is, men who like big girls. While most men prefer skinnier or athletic women, these guys like em LARGE. Despite the fact that most men have "thin" on the top of their desirable traits list, there is a sizeable fraction of the male population that likes 'em meaty.
The flip side is: women usually put "tall" on the top of their physical qualities list...when was the last time you heard of a "short chaser", i.e., a woman who prefers men who are shorter than her? Probably never, because they most likely don't exist.
Fact is, if you ask 100 men to name who they think the hottest woman on Earth is, they would give you 100 different answers. I would say Ellen Page, someone else would say Jessica Alba, someone else would say Sarah Silverman, another guy would say Monique, someone else would say Zhang ziyi etc etc. Men are all across the board with what they want, while women?
Christian Bale, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt always get thrown in there...and yes, Tom Cruise, but women do not imagine him to be short in real life.
Bottom line, if you're a woman, no matter WHAT SHAPE YOU ARE, HOW OLD YOU ARE, OR ANYTHING ELSE, there is a man or two or 200 somewhere who are daydreaming about someone who looks just like you...if you're a man who's 5'1, with acme, and a bald spot, I can promise you that no woman is daydreaming about someone who looks like you. A woman might settle for a man who is not good looking if he has other qualities, but in general, just about all woman have the same notion about what "mr Perfect" looks like.
The fact that all women are HOT to somebody while less than half of men are hot to any woman is one advantage women have over men, that few of them realize.
EDIT: Please not that I am only talking about innitial, phyical attraction here, not what makes a long term relationship. I am not saying men just hook up with women who have a certain trait that they like, only that that is what they are INNITIALLY ATTRACTED TO. Example: a man likes short haired women, and his friends introduce him to a woman with short hair, he is INNITIALLY attracted to her short hair, but after awhile, he talks to her, and realizes that she is not very intelligent and a very self centered person. Hence, he does not ask her for her number.
Understand? Someone can be physically attracted to someone and not be attracted to that person as a person.
Also, yes, women do get over what men look like and often do go out with less attractive men. Thing is: at no point do they think that they are hot. How awful must it be to be in a relationship and know, no matter how much she might like you as a person, that your lover does not find you to be sexy? It is something that most women will never know, but many men feel all the time.
HEY!~ I like short guys. I don't specifically go after them, but I wouldn't pass up a nice guy, just because he's on the short side. I don't like short and stocky, though.. And I don't find midgets attractive.... Stockiness isn't sexy, to me... I like thin (but not overly skinny)... but if the guy had a nice personality, I wouldn't tell him "no", unless I just found him absolutely repugnant or something. Most of the people I've dated have been shorter guys. My friends & family tease me, that I like men that are "travel sized" lol.. But I like tall guys, too. It's really about personality & how I'm treated, especially at first. Height doesn't really matter, if his personality is awesome.
As for what I'm physically attracted to... I like things that are generally not socially acceptable (ie: guys that wear makeup). But you're right about one thing.. Women can get over how a guy looks, but at no point will she think he's sexy, physically. I have dated guys that I'm not physically attracted to (but other women think the guys are hot), because frankly, there's not many men that I AM physically attracted to. Guys have always thought that I was the cat's meow (tall, blonde, wavy hair, bright green eyes & porcelain complexion - I do NOT tan or dye my hair.), but, I rarely come across a guy that just makes my jaw drop. Most guys just aren't my type physically & very few are my type, mentally. But, you know what? I am not complaining, because I usually end up with really nice, educated guys that are into the green movement, or business/entrepreneurial types.. My last BF was an English teacher, that had his own English academy overseas. I like genuinely nice, kind-hearted, intelligent men, their looks aren't usually the number one thing to me, so long as they're nice people that treat me well. I usually end up with the typical clean cut, shorter hair than I like kinda guys that sometimes have facial hair.. :/ Not my cup of tea, physically, but they're sweetie pies & that's what I like about them. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
That's just being an ignorant shallow man that I would never ever date in a million years. It's one thing to admire from afar, but if a guy is only going to ask out a woman based on her hot (to him) looks, then that is a man that I don't want in my life.
My boyfriend loves the inner me first, and I feel the same way about him. Many nights before he drifts to sleep, he will tell me how much he loves my mind and the person that I am. He also tells me frequently that I am his best friend. And with a love like that, we won't have any problems living happily ever after together and I will have no need to get botox or plastic surgery later on in order to keep his love.
I realize my attitude is rare but this is the winning relationship formula that works for me. I can admire the way attractive men look from a distance, but when it comes to a man that I will actually consider dating, I value his brains and personality a lot more than his looks. I have never looked for a hot trophy boyfriend to show off to my girlfriends, I just want a guy that pleases me and is my best friend and lover. I find that if the love, affection, like and respect is there, then the making love part is always great. I also find really beautiful people to be very conceited, shallow and not very good friend material.
And I was raised by my parents to value smarts above looks, even for myself. I am one of three daughters and my parents never put any great emphasis on our looks even though we are all above average in that department. Instead, we were encouraged to study hard and develop our other skills and attributes. And I like the way we turned out, especially me!!
right on, sister.. right on!
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
I know, some guys are into blondes etc... however it just has always creeped me out if I see that a non-Asian has a pattern of dating Asian women or is into Asian culture like being into martial arts. I just don't feel good about it, so I exit. No biggie for either of us, as there are millions of other single Asian women out there to date. lol And I don't feel at all Asian, I just feel like a plain ole American woman.
I'm being very picky here. I also just don't date any guy that would come up to me and ask me for a date. I always go very slowly and see how I like them as a friend first before considering them for a romance. I've never been a fan of that whirlwind romance nonsense. And when I am single, I am very happy with being alone and it has never bothered me to be without a man in my life for several years. I love my own company and I am a complete human being by myself. My boyfriend compliments who I am. If we parted ways, I would indeed be very very sad, but I would also be okay and not fall apart. And I would probably be alone for years before I found someone else I connected with enough for me to be in a relationship with. I will not date a man that I feel we can only have a mediocre relationship with. I don't need sex that much. I need my brain to be happy first.
Otherwise, what's cool about me and my boyfriend is that if our souls were put into other bodies, we would still love each other. If I were white or black, we would both still love the inner persons that we are.
aww that's sweet. i'm the same way. looks really aren't that important, as long as you're treated right & you like the person they are on the inside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk
You miss what I am saying. A woman, no matter who she is, will be hot to somebody...if a man who's 5'2, bald, has bad skin and a high pitches voice meets a woman who likes him for who he is, than still, in the back of their minds, he knows and she knows that he is not hot, not sexy, and she is only with him for his mind.
Wouldn't the ideal of being with someone who does not find you sexy depress you?
not really. if you have the time that's required to think up crap like this, you have way too much time on your hands. (and i am not saying YOU, as in YOU specifically.. i am saying YOU as in people in general)
Last edited by Aconitum; 05-27-2008 at 02:27 AM..
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