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I guess my thought is that if you want to break off contact with your parents because they don't approve of homosexuality, that is your right.
But if you do, you are also locking in your current interaction pattern with your parents as well. Things aren't going to improve until you start having a dialogue again with your parents. Now there is no guarantee that if you do talk to them, things will improve, things may or may not get better. But if you aren't talking, things definitely will never improve.
Here is the thing some people take more time to adapt to new situations. If they are in contact with you regularly and they are seeing that this boyfriend really is making you happy, that's one of the things that can make a parent come around. Some people just need more time to come around.
If it were me, I would keep a dialogue open, and continue to visit my parents but others are free to do what they think is best.
I really think this is the best mind set, BUT... holidays and such would probably see their son spending more time with those who accept him.
I'm not sure I would expect more from the OP. The nearest example I can think of is my sister and her dad and step mom. The dad and step mom have very aggressive views, and can't keep them out of general conversation. Therefore, my sister spends the least amount of time with them possible. They are entitled to their views, and she is entitled to stay away from people who have vastly different views than her. /shrug
To be honest, they keep wanting a relationship, and guilt her all the time, but overall, not nice people so they move down the totem pole of family she spends time with. She is still polite, meets them for lunch and brings by gifts. But they are quite aware that they are an obligation, not.... a part of the family? She is not the only child that has shunted them to the side.
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I really think this is the best mind set, BUT... holidays and such would probably see their son spending more time with those who accept him.
I'm not sure I would expect more from the OP. The nearest example I can think of is my sister and her dad and step mom. The dad and step mom have very aggressive views, and can't keep them out of general conversation. Therefore, my sister spends the least amount of time with them possible. They are entitled to their views, and she is entitled to stay away from people who have vastly different views than her. /shrug
To be honest, they keep wanting a relationship, and guilt her all the time, but overall, not nice people so they move down the totem pole of family she spends time with. She is still polite, meets them for lunch and brings by gifts. But they are quite aware that they are an obligation, not.... a part of the family? She is not the only child that has shunted them to the side.
Sing these sort of family Dynamics makes me so happy to have the parents that I do. They are uneasy with my sexuality and I can even respect that. But they make every effort to stay in my life and I make ever effort to be part of theirs.
When our sons were dating we barely paid attention to any of the girls, they came and went. Once the boys got married though and had children, that was entirely different.
You got this?
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It's strange that the wives (before they were wives) were treated as if they didn't exist until they said "I do". I mean, whether it's temporary or not, they're human beings so they shouldn't be ignored as if they don't exist. I can't imagine someone not showing any interest in they're children's SOs until there is a ring on the finger. That's just so foreign to me.
I must have written it confusingly.
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However, I've been the girl.
So have I been. I didn't meet the parents of anyone I dated except the two men I married. Why would I want to? Even in high school I didn't meet boys' parents, they met mine when they came to the house to pick me up.
Later in college people's parents lived in another town or another state. Even later, many times people's parents were deceased. What would be the point of meeting them anyway? I was dating the guy not his family. When things got serious, it was time to meet the parents.
Same with our boys, occasionally they'd bring a girl home, and if course we were polite. How it came across in my post that we were rude to these girls or "ignored" them until they were married I don't know.
Anyway, misunderstandings aside, my point was that OP's current boyfriend might not be his permanent partner, his parents don't know, heck even OP isn't sure.about the relationship.
I don't think it's a good idea to become estranged from parents unless it's for extreme reasons or circumstances. Not wanting a boyfriend to spend Christmas with the family isn't either one.
Sing these sort of family Dynamics makes me so happy to have the parents that I do. They are uneasy with my sexuality and I can even respect that. But they make every effort to stay in my life and I make ever effort to be part of theirs.
That's good.
Just an overall view, my sister is quite happy, her parents not so much. The parents won't be, all the kids have problems with them.
At the end of the day, you have to ask which are you, and why.
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Just an overall view, my sister is quite happy, her parents not so much. The parents won't be, all the kids have problems with them.
Your sister assuming you have the same parents and you, I'm sorry that she and her siblings have to deal with this
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At the end of the day, you have to ask which are you, and why.
I don't know this from the parent perspective but I try to be understanding. My parents had some hang ups shut me.
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