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Okay... gonna open up on a recent event here. For those that don't know, I'm still "fairly" young at 43. I retired from the Navy after almost 21 years and have a new job.
Here's where I can use some input:
Recently (this last weekend), my wife was "joking" around and said that now I can truly be considered a "geek." She laughed when she said it, and I know she didn't mean to hurt me, and to be honest, I don't know why it bothered me so much. I'm wondering if I should say anything.
Some other background: Before joining the Navy, I was very athletic. In fact, a couple weeks ago, we were cleaning out the shed in our backyard, and she ran across some pictures of me in some martial arts tournaments. I varsity lettered is soccer in high school, and also participated in track. During my time in the Navy, I received several trophies for sports from volleyball, to football, to bowling. I have always been very athletic. But.. as age as crept up on me, and my knees have gotten worse and worse from the years on ships (up and down stairs constantly), I find that I can not physically do the sports I want, nor do them as well.
To top it off, I just got a new job as a learning management system and database administrator. I know that's what she's referring to, but the job makes $10k/yr more than my last one.. and I thought women liked men who were intelligent?
Guess I'm asking why it bothered me so much? I knew over time I couldn't do sports the way I used to. I knew problems that arose in the Navy have physically prevented me from doing many physical things. But it just made me feel like it was time for me to "head out to the pasture."
Should I tell her and talk about it, or let it go?
Rathagos, Don't fret! My husband is very intelligent, successful and athletic, but I still call him a geek, sometimes even a dork! He can fix just about anything, is a science guru ( he is in a very specialized medical field), and never misses a thing...of course, I am not like this at all.
I say these things to him in jest and it sounds like your wife is talking to you with a good laugh behind it as well.
Please do not worry. She is actually talking in schoolyard code and her message is "I love you. I think you are hot and you are way too smart for me to shake a stick at! XOXOXO".
Guess I'm asking why it bothered me so much? I knew over time I couldn't do sports the way I used to. I knew problems that arose in the Navy have physically prevented me from doing many physical things. But it just made me feel like it was time for me to "head out to the pasture."
Should I tell her and talk about it, or let it go?
Being called a geek is not an insult. A geek is someone that is smart, uses his brain and has knowledge of technical things. I would consider being called a geek a compliment. And I've called my boyfriend a geek and he takes it as a compliment.
And at 43, yes you are not old, but leave the physical work activities to those who are in their 20's. In other fields of work that are very physically active, the successful workers as they get older naturally move (and want to move) into upper management positions. If you are doing more cerebral work than physical now, then it's because you deserve it. And you have nothing to prove by trying to keep up with the younger men in the physical aspect. If I were you, I'd just be very happy doing what you are doing now.
when I cut my hair off before once I was at a bar with a couple musician friends and a couple girls came over to drink with us and one asked me "are you into computers?,you look like a computer geek".
I was all but ignored by the girls while my friends gained their attention.I grew my hair back.While my persona is of a geek sometimes I decided it was better to pick a look and go with it other than being normal because normal wasn't working for me.
Saturday night I took a girlfriend out for dinner, since she wasn't feeling to good she wanted to go to sleep after a while ,I didn't .So I went to a bar to watch a band.I was in mellow mood,had a good meal,had sex already.Just wanted to chill and watch the band.
In the course of the night 4 Ladies came to my table and asked me why I was alone and made comments that I look like a rock n roller,which I am (duh).One asked me a strange question "are you a panzy or a hardass because you are just sitting there alone?".I said what kind of question is that?She said well sitting alone you are either scared to talk to women or just don't give a f*ck.I said it was the latter (said it with a smile).Next thing I know her 2 friends are at my table also.......
So yeah,I think most people are great no matter there niche,be yourself to what makes you happy but I don't want to be a geek either.Or at least not give that impression anyway.Because I much prefere to have women come on to me rather than ignore me even if I don't want them,
Okay... gonna open up on a recent event here. For those that don't know, I'm still "fairly" young at 43. I retired from the Navy after almost 21 years and have a new job.
Here's where I can use some input:
Recently (this last weekend), my wife was "joking" around and said that now I can truly be considered a "geek." She laughed when she said it, and I know she didn't mean to hurt me, and to be honest, I don't know why it bothered me so much. I'm wondering if I should say anything.
Some other background: Before joining the Navy, I was very athletic. In fact, a couple weeks ago, we were cleaning out the shed in our backyard, and she ran across some pictures of me in some martial arts tournaments. I varsity lettered is soccer in high school, and also participated in track. During my time in the Navy, I received several trophies for sports from volleyball, to football, to bowling. I have always been very athletic. But.. as age as crept up on me, and my knees have gotten worse and worse from the years on ships (up and down stairs constantly), I find that I can not physically do the sports I want, nor do them as well.
To top it off, I just got a new job as a learning management system and database administrator. I know that's what she's referring to, but the job makes $10k/yr more than my last one.. and I thought women liked men who were intelligent?
Guess I'm asking why it bothered me so much? I knew over time I couldn't do sports the way I used to. I knew problems that arose in the Navy have physically prevented me from doing many physical things. But it just made me feel like it was time for me to "head out to the pasture."
Should I tell her and talk about it, or let it go?
Next it's "VIVA VIAGRA!!!!!!!"
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He can fix just about anything, is a science guru ( he is in a very specialized medical field), and never misses a thing...of course, I am not like this at all.
