The Pros and Cons to dating a Metrosexual (wife, women, love)

[Marylandkitten]

Help me out here guys and gals.. I'm getting rather seriously into him. For all intensive purposes, this is someone I have not met yet. We met online, and will be meeting in 6 weeks or so.

But I keep getting this red flag flashing in my mind of Brad Paisley's "I'm still a guy" song replaying in my head over and over. If you don't know it off the top of your head, dig into it before you reply (and hopefully you reply to this, cause I need advice!)

These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured waxed and botoxed
But with deep spray on tans and creamy lotioney hands
You can’t grip a tackle box
With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah, honey I’m still a guy

What's the borderline for a gay man, versus a metro sexual. And what would you be comfortable with - and what would be pushing the limit?

I already feel over my head because... I don't follow fashion trends.
Expensive shoes, impeccable tastes in wine, top-notch cook, having his car detailed, lives for the dance floor and a good beat, dressed to the nines. I could go on, but I'm just trying to paint a general picture here for you, not parade his life around.

I have to laugh, and almost cry! ..I own maybe 5 pairs of shoes. (and they're cute, but they're also just what I can afford, and no more) I don't drink very often, sure I'll have a glass of wine as long as it's not too dry, but other than that, don't throw a million different labels and whatnot at me and expect me to be able to choose one! *freaks out* I know NOTHING about wine - unless I'm trying to get drunk on purpose (have I mentioned I need to get REALLY drunk to get out there and start dancing?) oh and.... yeah. about the detailing your expensive car. I drive a truck.. a well loved truck that is about 6 years old. A truck that I haven't unburied the back seat of in years (haha) and... every time it rains I think "oh good, a free car wash!"

It's more than just the fact that he has more money than me, and is comfortable living in what you would have to call a higher bracket of comfortable wealth. I ask myself.. if i had the money, would I own a ton more shoes? I think maybe yes....

Tell me I'm crazy, or just out of my league. Or tell me if 2 people really care about each other they can bridge this gap that I'm seeing as two completely different worlds colliding! He seems more than willing to. I am proverbially "shooting the kite". I don't voice half the opinions I have, which may or may not be detrimental to this soon-to-be-relationship. But I'm not going to lie to you.. I worry. I worry because I want to be happy again. And I don't want to be convincing myself I'm happy while overlooking potential roadblocks ahead just for it to turn into a dead end again. There's only so many wrong turns a person can handle taking responsibility for, before they give up driving. Then I worry more, because... in all reality, I haven't even met this man yet.

I will go meet him either way. (we're both meeting half way). I don't want to set myself or himself up for failure on either part. There are times where I am so excited and looking forward to this mini-exciting-vacation of sorts. And other times that I feel like I'm sitting down and reading someone else's fairytale and can predict the ending before I get there and already pity her. Is this because of my lovely past of failed relationships, my lack of self esteem that "anything" will work out for the best in my life, over analyzing something till it's dead before it even has a chance to bloom? Maybe I've just grown that cynical and jaded and depressed.

Help me be happy! Unless... something in this touches you the wrong way. Looking for everyone's opinions. Two different worlds, I would be naive not to worry about them clashing. But wouldn't it be a bigger waste to not try at all?

Hummm.

[butterbiscuits]

Well, they do say opposites attract. It's worth a try you never know. You don't want to sabotage it before it has gotten started!

I would say however that you shouldn't keep silent on things that bother you. There is nothing wrong with voicing your opinion, just make sure it's worth doing so. Ask yourself, "After the fun and "newness" of the relationship has worn off would these things about him bother me?" If it would, its worth at least talking about now before it gets serious.

I'm not saying that you should try and change him because he was that way when you met him, but you should ask yourself will it be something you can deal with and more important still, will he be able to deal with your...for lack of a better word..."plain Jane" ways? (no offense, I consider myself one to a certain extent and its an attribute in my opinion as long as its not to the extreme - it's more indicative of being modest in lifestyle instead of being flashy, which I hate)

As long as both of you can deal with your differences and respect the fact that those things are what makes each of you who you are - then y'all should do fine.

Good luck and have fun!

[J Arp]

As long as you know you can handle all the hair product inhalation I think you will be ok.

One of my friends is extremely metrosexual. He found a real cute "average" girl and they have been together for a few months now. They both seem very happy.

[easternerDC]

Geez, don't start the relationship before you meet him!

Have a fun weekend/day/afternoon, whatever you are planning, and enjoy the company.

You are worrying about things before you even need to worry about them. Wait until you are at least "dating" or even better yet if you decide to start a relationship with this dude.

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by Marylandkitten

What's the borderline for a gay man, versus a metro sexual. And what would you be comfortable with - and what would be pushing the limit?

Hummm.

This is pretty easy. If he's having sex with men, that should clue you in. Also, speech affectation is a bad sign (if you are looking for a straight guy, anyway). I don't think there are any straight men who speak "flamish." That's not to say that all gay men sound gay when speaking, but rather that if he sounds gay, he's probably not straight.

[sierraAZ]

There's a lot more involved here than just dating a metrosexual... It can be difficult being with somebody from "another world" and I find your concern completely legitimate.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by J Arp

One of my friends is extremely metrosexual. He found a real cute "average" girl and they have been together for a few months now. They both seem very happy.

Probably because peacocks don't like competition...

[Marylandkitten]

lol

Thanks for all of the responses so far guys.

And no, he doesn't "sound" gay by any means. Very deep very low very commanding voice. The kind that would loosen the thigh muscles in any girl. :P

It's more of an issue of fixating on appearance that I'm dealing with. He tans (should I start?) Manicures? Pedicures? Dare I ask? Designer clothing, my head is swimming. (I do my own nails... I've never been in a position to throw money at people to do things for me that I could very well be doing myself. That includes hair, nails, facials, anything. Now I'm starting to question whether that's good enough?) It's great that a man is taking that much stock in his appearance, but ~ when a guy takes longer to get ready to go than the girl? And I use that as an expression. Humm.

I grew up in a family of 9. My mother was a housewife. I learned to sew, mend, launder, and cook for an army at a time. I hardly doubt I would come anywhere close to sub-standard if we butted heads in the kitchen. So now I feel anything I cook he would love, smile, appreciate, and tolerate... but be planning in the back of his head what to do when it was his turn to cook and turn it up 20 notches.


I appreciate everyone that's at least given it a "don't shoot it down before it has a chance to even start" approach. That's what I'm trying to go for. I just need to figure out a way to put on my game face and not die from nerves, or ... whatnot, before and when I get there.

Time to glossy up those peacock feathers so to speak, I suppose?

[JerZ]

Wait and see what happens...but yes, this could get annoying to you after a while.

I love my husband to death but he's Mr. L.A. (born and raised in the Los Angeles area) and, like a lot of guys here, is much more into his looks than the place I'm originally from.

I, on the other hand, am a jeans sort of girl. I'm definitely not a tomboy--far from it--but OTOH, I'm much more casual than many women about certain things, especially dress. I own three pairs of shoes. One of those I haven't worn since a job interview last year.

My husband owns five pairs of shoes.

My husband easily has double the amount of clothes I have, and he freaks out if colors don't match in exactly a certain way, etc.

I figure pink, purple and blue are all in the same color family so anything goes.

He has said things to me many times (he has chilled about it somewhat recently) about my clothes..."Do you really want to wear a red belt with all black?", etc.)...and to tell the God's honest truth, yes, it is an esteem-killer after a while.

It's often not just that the person likes to dress a certain way or use certain products (my husband doesn't use lotions or anything, but that was mentioned in the song)--it's the personality behind it that causes him to want to dress that way/use the stuff/etc. And yes. Depending upon how you mesh, it could get in the way.

Not trying to be a downer when you haven't even met the guy yet...but you asked.

Meet him and see how it goes...he may just be trying to impress you by acting G.Q. He could be more laid back than he's coming off.

[nitokenshi]

this thread reminds me of this song

YouTube - Katy Perry - Ur So Gay