Why can't we be friends.....why can't we be friends...... (wives, girlfriends)
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I thought I had a very good friend with someone for years. And I can honestly say I miss him. And from the very beginning of our friendship, I told him, I'm never going to fall in love again, or date, or be with any man...a platonic friendship is all I am seeking. He said ok...now there have been times, when we've had disagreements, basically over religion...and he's grown cold, and hasn't contacted me for a few weeks to a couple of months. Then, all of a sudden, there he was, and we were friends again.
But, once during a conversation, I told him, I was inviting an old school mate male, for dinner to thank him for all that he had done for me, professionally. My family was coming for dinner, and I told him if the man felt uncomfortable with that, I would respect that. I also told him, I told the man what I had told him.
I heard from him only once since then, and it was a very short converstion. I believe he's become disenchanted with me....I also believe he put me somewhere way up on some pedistal that I couldn't possibly be...and his words that we would be friends for ever, did not hold true...
I've also learned, which disgusts me to no end, that when a man refers to a woman as a friend, not all men, but most...that it usually means, they are intimate. It is difficult for a man to be friends with a woman, b/c well, you know.
I have been friends with several men in my lifetime, and only one that I know of, didn't want to make it into an overnight thing. He is highly respected in my book.
I've never understood, myself, why men, find it so difficult to be a platonic friend with a woman without falling in love with her?
Let me say also, that you love your friends right. I think when a man and a woman are friends, they know the most intimate things about each other, b/c it is easy to spill your soul....but then, something happens...unlike your male friends or your woman friends, you want to give this person something very very special...you mistake a really good friendship for falling in love....so, you give that person yourself...b/c it is the only thing you have to give really. And now, a perfectly good friendship may be ruined if, it doesn't work out.
Does that make any sense?
Totally.....and I think this is a perfect example of why it's generally not possible.......your right...I have girlfriends that I love and if I were into girls....I'd probably have serious curshes (my friends are hot ) but....because Im into guys.....the same theory holds true. Even if your not physically attracted to somone at first....once you develop that close friendship you begin to fall in love or lust....it's inevitable.....
Totally.....and I think this is a perfect example of why it's generally not possible.......your right...I have girlfriends that I love and if I were into girls....I'd probably have serious curshes (my friends are hot ) but....because Im into guys.....the same theory holds true. Even if your not physically attracted to somone at first....once you develop that close friendship you begin to fall in love or lust....it's inevitable.....
by the way, would also like to add, that friend I spoke of who never made a play for me, told me one time, when your dating someone, and you've found your soul mate, don't tell him about us. I said why? He told me, b/c he won't believe you that we have been platonic friends all our lives. I said, nahhhhh, your wrong...he said, don't do it....believe me, I know how men think.
But if a women insists on being feminine with her male friends, of course they will sometimes be thinking of her as more than a platonic friend. I guess that with my male friends, I see no need to throw my femininity in their faces constantly. Wouldn't that be akin to being a **** tease?
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The women were all giggly, loud, blonde, attention seeking, and being feminine. At one point, my boyfriend angrily muttered something about how he could never date girls like that... to which I replied, that's why you only date women.
I'm not the type described above, but I still don't see eye to eye with you. Then again, it happens frequently enough...
You're a tomboy and you like it. Fine. However, I'm not and I'm not going to dress like a nun, deliberately look ugly and act dull just so I'm not appealing to guys. I like to joke and I'm playful - that's my personality and I don't act much differently around women than I do around men. Not about to give up myself for this reason, either. If it looks like teasing to somebody, so be it. If it means I can't have true guy friends, so be it as well.
...I'm not going to dress like a nun, deliberately look ugly and act dull just so I'm not appealing to guys. I like to joke and I'm playful - that's my personality and I don't act much differently around women than I do around men. Not about to give up myself for this reason, either. If it looks like teasing to somebody, so be it. If it means I can't have true guy friends, so be it as well.
As you know, I'm not into pets, but as far as pets go it's a good one... doesn't talk back and I've heard they go very easily down the toilet when parents want to spare their lil' ones' feelings.
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) but....because Im into guys.....the same theory holds true. Even if your not physically attracted to somone at first....once you develop that close friendship you begin to fall in love or lust....it's inevitable.....
and I've heard they go very easily down the toilet when parents want to spare their lil' ones' feelings.
