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I'm a 22-year-old male and I've never been in a relationship before.
My sister has a friend who she said I would really like. I recently got to spend a day with this person (along with my sister) and as it turns out we get along well, and we have a LOT in common.
At the end of the day, I spoke alone with her and asked her if she would like to go for a walk with me. (We both love long-distance walking). I could have gone with something more conventional like coffee, but we are both shy and doing something together that we both like seemed like a nice first step.
I want a romantic relationship, but I would like to get to know her better first. I also don't have the kind of money to be going to restaurants a lot. I'm not sure what to do to communicate my intentions, and with her being shy it's hard to know what she's thinking.
My worry is that in avoiding typical words like "date" or "dinner", she won't understand what I am trying to do and see my actions as friend-like.
Any advice would be great! I feel like my lack of experience is causing me to overthink everything.
What would you think if you were her?
If I need to, what should I do when I see her to make my position more clear.
I'm a guy, so I can't tell you what I'd do if I were her. However, if you get along that's a good sign. You're right, she's not going to understand what you want if you avoid talking about what you want. You have a choice, you can make it known you want to date her or you can pussyfoot around, get put in the friend zone and she will go out with a guy who isn't too afraid to ask her out.
You don't need money to go on dates and you don't need money to date girls. You're worried way too much about that, women don't require you to be rich or pay for all kinds of things. If she's a nice girl then she will be happy with whatever you guys do, as long as you have fun and put in some effort. No 22 year old is going to be rich.
To make your position more clear, invite her out again. Don't be afraid to touch her and joke around with her. Kiss her next time you're out. If you don't make a move, she will date other guys and you'll be another guy who is mad at himself.
I'm a guy, so I can't tell you what I'd do if I were her. However, if you get along that's a good sign. You're right, she's not going to understand what you want if you avoid talking about what you want. You have a choice, you can make it known you want to date her or you can pussyfoot around, get put in the friend zone and she will go out with a guy who isn't too afraid to ask her out.
You don't need money to go on dates and you don't need money to date girls. You're worried way too much about that, women don't require you to be rich or pay for all kinds of things. If she's a nice girl then she will be happy with whatever you guys do, as long as you have fun and put in some effort. No 22 year old is going to be rich.
To make your position more clear, invite her out again. Don't be afraid to touch her and joke around with her. Kiss her next time you're out. If you don't make a move, she will date other guys and you'll be another guy who is mad at himself.
^ Pretty good.
Especially the part about flirting. She needs to not only hear your intentions but see your interest.
The money thing is just like the previous poster said. Besides, cheap/free things tend to generate more interaction on the date (walks, coffee, tennis, book store).
Also, get advice from your sister. She knows both of you and can probably guide a bit.
I found an inexpensive evening event a week after the first date which seems like a nice thing to ask her to, and I will make sure to be clear with her.
Calling something a "date" and going to "dinner" are not what a romantic relationship are made of.
It is the show of interest. Flirting, touching, holding of hands, hugs (do not pat back), kissing, simple and subtle "romantic" gifts (Nothing expensive or big ticket... and doesn't have to be things like flowers either... romantic can be giving something you know she wants because it shows you pay attention to her).
Also, do not be afraid of talking about what you would like either. That doesn't mean to her to blurt it out, but there is a time and a place to tell someone you like them.
OP, she's your sister's friend. If she has any doubt about your intentions, your sis will tell her where you're at. Just proceed as you wish. If she's shy, she'll be thrilled by the attention. You're overworrying at this stage. And fyi, lots of 22-year-olds don't have money for dinners. Buying her dinner isn't necessary. Make a picnic lunch and go to the park or go bike-riding. Picnic lunches are fun and romantic.
I found an inexpensive evening event a week after the first date which seems like a nice thing to ask her to, and I will make sure to be clear with her.
OP, you don't need to make a big announcement. Just ask her out. She'll know what's going on. You're over-worrying this. Have you been reading blogs about dating and the "friend zone"? Best to stay away from those, they'll fill your head with unnecessary concerns. You're doing fine.
Have you been reading blogs about dating and the "friend zone"?
Something like that, yeah. I'll be sure and keep away from those.
Anyway, thanks for that. It means a lot. I guess my perceptions of what constitutes a relationship are a little off, but I'm learning and I will try to avoid over-worring.
OP, she's your sister's friend. If she has any doubt about your intentions, your sis will tell her where you're at.
Yes! Women talk to each other .
And girls are very horny. If she wants you, she won't let you get away! Sometimes the biggest mistake guys make is they think girls don't want sex as much as they do.
Practice saying, "I really like you, would you like to go out sometimes?"
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