Relationship between American Born and Foreign Born (English Challenged) (dating, wives, girlfriends)
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A friend of mine (who is an American born white man), has just started dating a wonderful and very attractive women from China. She has only been in America for a few years and is still struggling with her English. I have met her and I believe she acts like she understands more than she really does. She does not respond to some questions and comments that a person with strong English skills would.
If she does not understand what was said, she will either just smile or change the subject.
In my opinion she is a lovely person but not right for my friend. I think for a relationship to really work both people really have to understand each other fully. There is enough opportunity for misunderstanding even if both people speak the same language, but if one is only partially fluent there is going to be a further breakdown in communication.
Have you ever dated someone who did not speak English (or your primary langauge) all that well and what success did you have in the relationship?
OMG.....I guess I don't get how this is your business. If your friend likes her isn't that all that matters....if it's not right for him i'm sure he will take appropriate action. If it's not for you then don't date anyone who can't speak english.....some people love the excitment and Exoticism of it all and communication issues are worked out between them....
A friend of mine (who is an American born white man), has just started dating a wonderful and very attractive women from China. She has only been in America for a few years and is still struggling with her English. I have met her and I believe she acts like she understands more than she really does. She does not respond to some questions and comments that a person with strong English skills would.
If she does not understand what was said, she will either just smile or change the subject.
In my opinion she is a lovely person but not right for my friend. I think for a relationship to really work both people really have to understand each other fully. There is enough opportunity for misunderstanding even if both people speak the same language, but if one is only partially fluent there is going to be a further breakdown in communication.
Have you ever dated someone who did not speak English (or your primary langauge) all that well and what success did you have in the relationship?
Refugee56 - Are you a man or a woman? As a woman, I completely agree with your sentiments that a couple needs have excellent communication skills with each other in order to succeed, particularly in our current American society. Personally, I could never be in a serious long term relationship or marriage with a man that I could not full communicate ALL of my inner thoughts with.
However, many men seem to be happy with their dates just as long as she is hot enough to turn him on physically. And many men joke that the more silent a woman is with them, the better, and that their girlfriends and wives talk too much. And you say that this Chinese woman is very attractive, so for him, that is enough for now because he is infatuated with her. Hopefully, he doesn't rush into marriage with her and takes the time to really think things out with their relationship.
Perhaps your American born friend could learn Chinese. I have one American born acquaintance that married a Japanese woman whose English skills are very poor. However he speaks and writes Japanese fluently.
A friend of mine (who is an American born white man), has just started dating a wonderful and very attractive women from China. She has only been in America for a few years and is still struggling with her English. I have met her and I believe she acts like she understands more than she really does. She does not respond to some questions and comments that a person with strong English skills would.
If she does not understand what was said, she will either just smile or change the subject.
In my opinion she is a lovely person but not right for my friend. I think for a relationship to really work both people really have to understand each other fully. There is enough opportunity for misunderstanding even if both people speak the same language, but if one is only partially fluent there is going to be a further breakdown in communication.
Have you ever dated someone who did not speak English (or your primary langauge) all that well and what success did you have in the relationship?
REFUGEE, I'd like to say SHAME ON YOU for getting into SOMEONE ELSE's business -- their relationship w/ each other. HOW DARE you judge a person you BARELY even know? You think that JUST because she doesn't understand your version of English (yes, believe it or not, there are different version of the English language -- there are the "American version" of English, the "British version" of English, etc. -- different regions have different slangs of the English language-- so perhaps, maybe THAT's why sometimes she didn't understand what Americans say -- because perhaps, she has yet to understand the slangs/ etc.?), it gives you the right to think that she's not right for HIM? She may not be the right type of woman for YOU, but .... let's see... how do I put this gently...
YOU ARE NOT HIM! And he's not YOU! So quit judging other people's relationship based on ONE imperfection that she has.
Of course it is my business because he is my friend. He asked me what I thought of her and I was honest. She she is sexy and very attractive but her poor English skills are going to be the death of their relationship long term. I think she is looking for someone to sponsor her on a marriage Visa. She is here on a student visa now.
I think it is similar to a mail order bride, except in this case she is already here.
Refugee56 - Are you a man or a woman? As a woman, I completely agree with your sentiments that a couple needs have excellent communication skills with each other in order to succeed, particularly in our current American society. Personally, I could never be in a serious long term relationship or marriage with a man that I could not full communicate ALL of my inner thoughts with.
However, many men seem to be happy with their dates just as long as she is hot enough to turn him on physically. And many men joke that the more silent a woman is with them, the better, and that their girlfriends and wives talk too much. And you say that this Chinese woman is very attractive, so for him, that is enough for now because he is infatuated with her. Hopefully, he doesn't rush into marriage with her and takes the time to really think things out with their relationship.
Perhaps your American born friend could learn Chinese. I have one American born acquaintance that married a Japanese woman whose English skills are very poor. However he speaks and writes Japanese fluently.
Miu- Refugee says he's a man in another post...but, who knows??
Of course it is my business because he is my friend. He asked me what I thought of her and I was honest. She she is sexy and very attractive but her poor English skills are going to be the death of their relationship long term. I think she is looking for someone to sponsor her on a marriage Visa. She is here on a student visa now.
I think it is similar to a mail order bride, except in this case she is already here.
You need to get a life man! Seriously!
Just because your "friend" asked you what you thought of his GF, it does NOT mean you have an INSTANT right to make his life YOUR business.
Say your PIECE of mind, and let him go. Even sons don't want their fathers get THAT much involved in their lives.
OMG.....I guess I don't get how this is your business. If your friend likes her isn't that all that matters....if it's not right for him i'm sure he will take appropriate action. If it's not for you then don't date anyone who can't speak english.....some people love the excitment and Exoticism of it all and communication issues are worked out between them....
lol @ Miu...Anyways did you ever think that he or she could be a he-she.
I prefer the term "shim"...she + him...
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Sexy but uncommunicative
Seriously!
...Anyways did you ever think that he or she could be a he-she. 
