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One thing that is clear to me is that when I've been more outgoing, I have had more opportunities to meet women.
However, I've had no relationship success in Los Angeles, whereas in San Francisco I was successful to the extent that I was willing to shell out the big bucks, and in New York I've always been successful regardless of what dollar amount I spend. New York is a large city that offers endless dating opportunity. I am an opportunistic guy and I expect to seize all of the opportunities that I get regardless of when and where the opportunity presents itself.
Basically, Los Angeles and New York have fundamentally different cultures and people and these are two very distinct cities. Based on that fact, I cannot ask Los Angeles to offer me the opportunities that New York offers and vice versa. I already know that I have to live in a very busy environment with endless opportunities within walking distance from anywhere. Los Angeles is not that place nor is it set up that way. In contrast, Manhattan is very much so that place. There are so many other factors that point to why I have yet to meet a human being I can interact with on the same level in Los Angeles.
Maybe someone can help me with this issue. For now I'm not living in my traditional neighborhood in Manhattan. I am in L.A. So, basically I need advice from my fellow native New Yorkers on what I need to do here in L.A. to give myself a chance of creating a social environment. I don't have any friends here in L.A. and it's very stressful not to know anybody or to be able to talk to anybody here.
Some people claim New York is a very stressful place, but surprisingly I feel very comfortable and at peace with myself and the world when I am surrounded by all the people in Manhattan and interact with all the people from every neighborhood and borough.
Conversely, I am always stressed out in Los Angeles. I hate to drive and somehow I'm forced to drive because every time I walk there is no where to walk to. I will walk for miles in every direction and I can't find any action, people or anything to do. Yet, I live in the most desirable part of L.A. on the Westside. Then, after I give up on walking I drive the car through every decent neighborhood and hangout spot in L.A. and I still can find nothing to do.
What can I possible do to remedy this situation? I am not looking for a miracle answer or solution. But, obviously this thread is about relationships and as a New Yorker I find it next to impossible to develop a relationship let alone meet people in Los Angeles. Please help me!
I would move back to NY. LA has no appeal whatsoever to me. Of course you could always get into the porn industry. You're in the right spot and will have more women than you know what to do with.
I would move back to NY. LA has no appeal whatsoever to me. Of course you could always get into the porn industry. You're in the right spot and will have more women than you know what to do with.
Given the dire state of my dating status, I have sadly considered doing porn as a last resort! But, clearly porn does not qualify as a relationship in the traditional sense which is more of what I'm looking for. I'm not necessarily even looking for a relationship. But, I would like to have a conversation with a lady for God's sake! Yeah, I would love to move back home to NY but right now I'm stuck with a job here. So, I have to deal with the cards I've been dealt. What can I do to meet a normal human being someplace in Los Angeles? Please help me!
Would argue Manhattan and LA's Westside are more similar than different, aside from the obvious differences of weather and a car-based culture...
LA's Westside is heavily focused on media/entertainment industry culture, though that industry is dual-headquartered in NYC and LA....but the finance industry tends to dominate Midtown Manhattan....
Would look to networks of friends within one's industry; bars that are after-work spots in CenturyCity/BevHills, etc, esp those favored by a desirable demographic, i.e., cash-poor, but talented and ambitious young women....have found BH area bars/dining to be a small world where one often runs into many from SiliconValley or NYC, in-town for business....but, more often, pleasure
Living and having lived in Manhattan, LA's Westside and SF, am more astonished by how similar the cultures and character of the crowd is in the various regions....many affluent guys from SiliconValley have wkend houses in LA....and increasingly, many Manhattan guys have gotten wkend places in LA (the slow kids just figured out Hamptons offer stifling heat/humidity, insects and inedible grub)....hard to duplicate LA's playground setting, talent, weather and culture anywhere else on planet....
You're minutes away from the beach, UCLA, Hollywood clubs, etc. and you can't meet any women? You're full of bull.
I suspect that LA women are picking up on your "San Fran-Lower Eastside hipster douche / over-analyzing NYC'er / I am intellectually superior to you because I lived in the greatest city in the world and I hate driving / you LA women are beneath me because you're rather surf than read the NYTimes over a latte" vibe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphabetCityNYC
One thing that is clear to me is that when I've been more outgoing, I have had more opportunities to meet women.
However, I've had no relationship success in Los Angeles, whereas in San Francisco I was successful to the extent that I was willing to shell out the big bucks, and in New York I've always been successful regardless of what dollar amount I spend. New York is a large city that offers endless dating opportunity. I am an opportunistic guy and I expect to seize all of the opportunities that I get regardless of when and where the opportunity presents itself.
Basically, Los Angeles and New York have fundamentally different cultures and people and these are two very distinct cities. Based on that fact, I cannot ask Los Angeles to offer me the opportunities that New York offers and vice versa. I already know that I have to live in a very busy environment with endless opportunities within walking distance from anywhere. Los Angeles is not that place nor is it set up that way. In contrast, Manhattan is very much so that place. There are so many other factors that point to why I have yet to meet a human being I can interact with on the same level in Los Angeles.
Maybe someone can help me with this issue. For now I'm not living in my traditional neighborhood in Manhattan. I am in L.A. So, basically I need advice from my fellow native New Yorkers on what I need to do here in L.A. to give myself a chance of creating a social environment. I don't have any friends here in L.A. and it's very stressful not to know anybody or to be able to talk to anybody here.
Some people claim New York is a very stressful place, but surprisingly I feel very comfortable and at peace with myself and the world when I am surrounded by all the people in Manhattan and interact with all the people from every neighborhood and borough.
Conversely, I am always stressed out in Los Angeles. I hate to drive and somehow I'm forced to drive because every time I walk there is no where to walk to. I will walk for miles in every direction and I can't find any action, people or anything to do. Yet, I live in the most desirable part of L.A. on the Westside. Then, after I give up on walking I drive the car through every decent neighborhood and hangout spot in L.A. and I still can find nothing to do.
What can I possible do to remedy this situation? I am not looking for a miracle answer or solution. But, obviously this thread is about relationships and as a New Yorker I find it next to impossible to develop a relationship let alone meet people in Los Angeles. Please help me!
LA can be very difficult to strike up meaningful relationships, since many people are in their own worlds. I have lived on the Westside of LA myself, so I know what you mean first-hand. It's not as easy to strike up a conversation with people that leads anywhere in the coffee shop or juice bar, for example. There's also a distinct level of superficiality in all of the interactions that can really grate on one's nerves.
Now, as for where to meet people...What do you like to do in your spare time? There are great groups around town that you can join, be they everything from architectural conservation and appreciation to sports to church-centered groups. Genuine people do exist in LA, but it does take time and effort to sort through the places and people, and unfortunately you may have to drive to Pasadena, OC, or the Valley to find what you seek.
LA is nothing like NYC, whatsoever, you are correct, since it's easier to meet more genuine people in NYC.
Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 09-25-2008 at 04:27 PM..
Reason: Edited quoted text
Would argue Manhattan and LA's Westside are more similar than different, aside from the obvious differences of weather and a car-based culture...
LA's Westside is heavily focused on media/entertainment industry culture, though that industry is dual-headquartered in NYC and LA....but the finance industry tends to dominate Midtown Manhattan....
Would look to networks of friends within one's industry; bars that are after-work spots in CenturyCity/BevHills, etc, esp those favored by a desirable demographic, i.e., cash-poor, but talented and ambitious young women....have found BH area bars/dining to be a small world where one often runs into many from SiliconValley or NYC, in-town for business....but, more often, pleasure
Living and having lived in Manhattan, LA's Westside and SF, am more astonished by how similar the cultures and character of the crowd is in the various regions....many affluent guys from SiliconValley have wkend houses in LA....and increasingly, many Manhattan guys have gotten wkend places in LA (the slow kids just figured out Hamptons offer stifling heat/humidity, insects and inedible grub)....hard to duplicate LA's playground setting, talent, weather and culture anywhere else on planet....
Just curious, are you a technical writer involved in writing/editing abstracts from really huge volumes under deadline pressure to expedite and thus to drop pronouns such as "I", "You", "He/She", etc.?
Check out the Los Angeles Conservancy. Perhaps go on one of their tours and then see if joining and becoming active within the membership might help to meet some new people. You can meet some intellectually-minded locals on them, in addition to tourists.
Also, I don't consider going to a mall a social environment in a city setting! So, it is absolutely out of the question to suggest that I should try meeting single women at the mall. That's ridiculous! I'm living in the second largest city in the U.S. for crying out loud! Not a suburb! And no suburban atmosphere can appease me, regardless of how expensive the neighborhood is!
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....have found BH area bars/dining to be a small world where one often runs into many from SiliconValley or NYC, in-town for business....but, more often, pleasure
