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Old 10-16-2008, 01:28 PM
 
272 posts, read 521,211 times
Reputation: 302

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I've been here in Canada since Saturday visiting my ex and her family. Something compelled me to reach out after ignoring her for over two years and here we are -- for the third time.

I told her upfront that I wasn't ready to discuss anything related to 'Us' -- That includes exploring a future together, etc. But, she persisted, and now I think we're both in an emotional funk because of it.

Regardless of our 'off and on again' past and all the issues that go along with it, I still care about her. I've already shed some tears in the past day, because the situation is becoming overwhelming. Her family has always been supportive of us and their love hasn't changed.

This morning, I told her that this was the end. No more revisiting the past. No being friends or 'dating'. I just want to see an end to this madness that has sucked the life out of me over the past five years. I just can't see how two people who've been through everything we have (marriage, etc.) can just 'start over' again and 'date'. We have a history, no matter how bad or good, and it's something I cannot process in my mind.

I didn't want things to become some complicated, but she couldn't help herself pushing for answers. I feel her scattered language and thoughts are the result of her impatience and her inability to realize my position. Sure, I think it's great to be here -- I'm surrounded by many people who love me -- But the issue is between myself and the ex.

I'm just burnt out. As I told her yesterday, there are no guarantees if we decided to 'date'. People either make the choice to succeed with something they want or do nothing at all. Why should I invest another year to 'wait and see' what happens? I told her I could invest this time in someone new, instead of revisiting the past with someone old. I just can't see how this would work out.

I'm here at her Aunt's right now. She called me up to spend the day with her and I feel better since seeing her this morning and telling her my decision. Of course, this will probably mean there will be awkwardness between us until I leave this weekend, but I can only be fair to myself and what I want out of life. I think it's unfair to me that I agree to 'dating' only to possibly find myself in the same situation as before.

Anyway, I just wanted another outlet to air out my thoughts and feelings. Thanks in advance to those who share their knowledge and wisdom.
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Old 10-16-2008, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,264 posts, read 81,020,582 times
Reputation: 39471
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronaldl79 View Post
I've been here in Canada since Saturday visiting my ex and her family. Something compelled me to reach out after ignoring her for over two years and here we are -- for the third time.

I told her upfront that I wasn't ready to discuss anything related to 'Us' -- That includes exploring a future together, etc. But, she persisted, and now I think we're both in an emotional funk because of it.

Regardless of our 'off and on again' past and all the issues that go along with it, I still care about her. I've already shed some tears in the past day, because the situation is becoming overwhelming. Her family has always been supportive of us and their love hasn't changed.

This morning, I told her that this was the end. No more revisiting the past. No being friends or 'dating'. I just want to see an end to this madness that has sucked the life out of me over the past five years. I just can't see how two people who've been through everything we have (marriage, etc.) can just 'start over' again and 'date'. We have a history, no matter how bad or good, and it's something I cannot process in my mind.

I didn't want things to become some complicated, but she couldn't help herself pushing for answers. I feel her scattered language and thoughts are the result of her impatience and her inability to realize my position. Sure, I think it's great to be here -- I'm surrounded by many people who love me -- But the issue is between myself and the ex.

I'm just burnt out. As I told her yesterday, there are no guarantees if we decided to 'date'. People either make the choice to succeed with something they want or do nothing at all. Why should I invest another year to 'wait and see' what happens? I told her I could invest this time in someone new, instead of revisiting the past with someone old. I just can't see how this would work out.

I'm here at her Aunt's right now. She called me up to spend the day with her and I feel better since seeing her this morning and telling her my decision. Of course, this will probably mean there will be awkwardness between us until I leave this weekend, but I can only be fair to myself and what I want out of life. I think it's unfair to me that I agree to 'dating' only to possibly find myself in the same situation as before.

Anyway, I just wanted another outlet to air out my thoughts and feelings. Thanks in advance to those who share their knowledge and wisdom.
Well, you yourself stated that SOMETHING compelled you to reach out to her after two years - maybe you really aren't so sure you want to give up on this relationship?

And I don't think it's unreasonable on her part to at least hope that you coming to spend time with her meant you might want to rekindle your relationship. Sounds like she must really want you back, and because of that she jumped the gun in her excitement and pushed too hard. Her pushing has now caused you to go gun shy, but maybe, just maybe, you need to resist your temptation to flee?
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