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Your right on all accounts, with Minnesota being nothing but snow, the house bound, kind of feels like the walls are closing in on you.
The vacation idea is a great one, my child is out on spring break the first part of next month, and the last time, her and I took off any where was when she was about 6 so it has been almost 7 years ago.
I do have some money, got my back pay from SSD, hubby don't know, and he will not find out either, but we could go away for a week some where. I guess I am to much of a people pleaser and if I can't please someone I take it out on myself, because I am not happy unless others around me are happy.
I will take that vacation, and already in the mist of trying to plan for it as long as the weather gives us some luck and stays nice enough to get where we want to go. Thanks Yap City!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm voting Disney/Florida, SoCal, or if you've really got some cheddar stashed away, Jamaica! I think your kid might be old enough to enjoy a destination like that. If sun isn't your thing, then maybe a nice New York City vacation? Pricey, but lots to do.
Some place warm does sound good. She hasn't been to Disneyland since she was about six years old, wished I would have waited longer, because then she would remember a lot more.
I will give her a chance to pick where she would like to go, since she is my world. She has been coming up to me just to check to make sure I feel ok. Such a sweet kid, but at the same time she says, mom can we take my jar of change to the bank, so that I can get me a new game cube game??? This child loves to spend money you don't have, I try to teach her to save it for clothes or something worth while but she spends money as fast as she gets it.
I don't really know where I would want to go, I was thinking of looking around some areas that I plan on moving to, but I guess it will take some thought. Just so everyone knows, my child was at her friends house when I went on the rampage, I try to keep things on a better level when she is around. His youngest son and future wife got the ear full, my husband was still at the party, because I went home for a while to get clothes for my child to run over for her. I think he went in shock, don't know if he will say anything to his mom and I really don't care. Thanks everyone for sticking by me, I had to take a nap from being so drained from all the crying, but again thanks guys for being there when I needed you most.
Yorkiemom, hold off on the vacation for a bit. Stop and take a deep breath. Now, save whatever cash you have just in case you decide get away from him, but first, CONSULT AN ATTORNEY! You need to find out where you stand financially and what the divorce laws are in your state. Once you have the facts, then you can make a clear decision. Whatever you decide to do then, let it be with a clear mind and a determination to succeed in your future without all the negativity around you. I wish you the best luck!
Yorkiemom, hold off on the vacation for a bit. Stop and take a deep breath. Now, save whatever cash you have just in case you decide get away from him, but first, CONSULT AN ATTORNEY! You need to find out where you stand financially and what the divorce laws are in your state. Once you have the facts, then you can make a clear decision. Whatever you decide to do then, let it be with a clear mind and a determination to succeed in your future without all the negativity around you. I wish you the best luck!
Normally I would agree. However, you don't leave someone after 20 some-odd years without "going for a walk to cool off" first. Taking a vacation is the equivalent.
Basically what I'm saying Yap is that if she runs off on a vacation now she is only stepping right back in to a bad situation. You don't actually have to hire the attorney, just a consultation for now. If, after all the facts are on the table, then take the time to decide what to do. Besides, Yorkie stated that marriage counseling was not in the picture at this time.
Basically what I'm saying Yap is that if she runs off on a vacation now she is only stepping right back in to a bad situation. You don't actually have to hire the attorney, just a consultation for now. If, after all the facts are on the table, then take the time to decide what to do. Besides, Yorkie stated that marriage counseling was not in the picture at this time.
Well for a consultation, sure, but based on other conversations I can say that a breather would do more good in the near term.
Besides, I know from experience The only thing worse than a woman scorned is a woman scorned who is calm, cool, and collected with her head on straight. Now THAT is dangerous
I have had the worst night of my life. My husband talked our child and I into going to his dads 85th birthday party. My husband chose not to tell two of his sons because he doesn't have anything to do with them.
My husbads ex wife has done nothing but put the two boys against us, she is working on the third son. So we go to the party, and out of the blue his two sons show up. I guess my husbands sister goes to a casino in Iowa where my husbands ex wife works at and they talk all the time, his ex has stated to others that my husbands family likes her better then me.
Well I guess my husbands sister invited his two sons knowing that we didn't get along, and while we were there, I was shunned, along with our child, I never felt so out of place, and you could tell everyone was talking behind your back, plus the looks they gave me.
I have been with my husband for 23 years, his ex 10 years, and if they want her they can have her, because I am not a put on, and I don't lie to others. I could also tell she had filled my husbands sister up with lies. I have never felt so out of place in my life. I feel that I have not only been betrayed by my husbands family but my husband himself, for not standing up for me a day in his life. I don't know if he is scared of them or what, but he sits back and lets things happen, why? because it is not him.
I feel hurt, rejected, beaten down, kicked in the stomach, what ever you want to do to me do it and get it over with treatment. I feel worse then a dog that has been abused. So any suggestions? I would have went else where but my only family and friends are all of you, so what would you do???
To me, it's a simple issue: Your hubby needs to put YOUR feelings FIRST in everything he does. Not standing up to his family is a sorry state of affairs that he's gotten into. I say he either shapes up, or ships out. Sorry for the bluntness but life is just too short to spend it unhappy.
Come to Savannah! We'll make you feel right at home.
Yorkie... I agree..The vacation may not be the thing right now..unless you want to be broke and back where you started from.If your hubby can actually sit there and watch you cry... there is way more wrong then family parties. A quick story of my honey... married young... was important to the X for a few years... kids came... my honey was shoved in to the back seat... he figures atay for the kids and he will get attention again... wrong... now she collects animals.... he tells her it is done ( after 30 years of marriage)leaves.... for 24 hours... he feels he must give her one last chance now that she knows EXACTLY how he feels and that he will leave if things do not improve... 1 year later he leaves for good, knowing that it will never get better, he is there for the weekly check only... oh.. and to do the chores. Point is... it was a rough ride but he laughs now... he is happy now... he haves love now..... don't do anything rash...think things through and yes, consult someone in the know of the laws, my neighbor left her home as her hub. was making her crazy and he got the house in the end because she left. Best of Luck... Get a backbone and focus on your daughter and yourself.. get power from gathering the info. you need. You can do it... we are all behind you to push ... and I suspect there are a few of us in front of you to pull too.
Thanks guys, I will make sure I think before I leap, a vacation would be great, and like I stated before, I would like to pick a place that I would want to live at and be happy. That being said, if I took a vacation, I would want to go to that area and scope things out at the same time, so that when the time came, I would be able to make that move.
With the husband, my opinion is, I need to leave, he on the other hand, is in no rush, because he doesn't have anyone ripping into him, and making him the bad person. I also think that he does't want to leave HIS boys or HIS grandkids, and I say HIS because he has never made it a WE or Us, so that being said, Tiffany is our daughter and SHE IS ALL that I care about.
The wall has been put up many years ago, starting with the fact that I always wanted two children, so that they would have each other, and someone to grow up with. The other is if something would ever happen to me she would have a sibling to help her get through her missing me, and that they would have each other to lean on.
Look at what she has now, just me her mother, no one else, not my family, not his, and not her half brothers.
With all that being said, and how much he has shown that he cares about his daughter and I, well the wall has grown quite high, and it would take a miracle to bring it down. I am not innocent by all means, but I have always said how I feel, and my feelings don't mean nothing.
When I told him I wanted out and a divorce yesterday, what does he do but call his sister on the phone and tell her I am mad and upset, YEAH, put the blame on me, make it just me and my fault for being upset in the first place, real smart of him. At this point I don't care, I don't need any of them.
I am up for the new day, I hope it goes better then yesterday, I got our daughter, she is a mama's girl no matter what, and as long as I have her, she is my life, and all I have to live for. She is the only reason I choose to stay on this earth, I brought her into this mess, and now we have to stick together, to make it a better world for both of us.
I might add, my husband has been a very controlling person, he has always made it to where I would never have enough money to leave and make it on, my own, but since I got my back pay on my SSD, it will be a big help with finding a attorney, I may wind up with nothing by the time I am done, but one thing is for sure, I will have our child, and he will have to pay to support her. Some day, maybe I will find some one who cares enough for the both of us, before I get to old. Like I said, he will not change, and I don't plan on sticking around here being unhappy, watching my life pass me by, and then have my daughter see that I stayed unhappy in a marriage all them years, while if I would have left, we both could have been happy, sorry guys but I have to take the chance at the better life, instead of living in the old one, where nothing ever changes. One last thing, he has always told me, if we ever get divorced, Tiffany goes with her mom because he says, she needs to be with me, at least there will be no fight there, and even if that happened, she is old enough in this state to make up her mind. Thanks again everyone.
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The only thing worse than a woman scorned is a woman scorned who is calm, cool, and collected with her head on straight. Now THAT is dangerous 
