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i dont want to play games, but it sounds intriguing to create an elusiveness and mystery. how do you do that? and what are some ways where you can actually make her chase you?
Don't be somebody you're not. Just trust me on this. Women can smell a poseur a mile away.
About the only advice I can offer? When you meet a girl, don't act so impressed. Don't hang on her. Don't drool. Show interest, but not too much. For women can smell desperation a mile away. She doesn't respect a guy who's working hard to impress her.
By the way, all that game playing gets old for women by the time they hit 26-27. It was fun for awhile. But it gets really old for them. At that time, they just want some guy who is who he says he is. Try being that guy, Andrew.
Don't be somebody you're not. Just trust me on this. Women can smell a poseur a mile away.
About the only advice I can offer? When you meet a girl, don't act so impressed. Don't hang on her. Don't drool. Show interest, but not too much. For women can smell desperation a mile away. She doesn't respect a guy who's working hard to impress her.
By the way, all that game playing gets old for women by the time they hit 26-27. It was fun for awhile. But it gets really old for them. At that time, they just want some guy who is who he says he is. Try being that guy, Andrew.
Normally good advice... if you're at least "decent" looking. Otherwise, I default to your previous post (where you have to be sitting on a ton of money, and showing (dressing, driving, etc.) you have it).
I've seen your pic, CPG... decent looking guy. But there are guys like me that will never turn heads. I've dressed nice, carried myself as well as possible, tried to educate myself, but I'm one who will NEVER be chased (if I was single, of course).
I will be me and continue to do so, regardless, in the future. But being chased? That's truly for good looking or known rich guys.
When a good looking or rich guy acts nonchalant, that's "intriguing." When an average or below average guy acts nonchalant, it's "creepy."
Normally good advice... if you're at least "decent" looking. Otherwise, I default to your previous post (where you have to be sitting on a ton of money, and showing (dressing, driving, etc.) you have it).
I've seen your pic, CPG... decent looking guy. But there are guys like me that will never turn heads. I've dressed nice, carried myself as well as possible, tried to educate myself, but I'm one who will NEVER be chased (if I was single, of course).
I will be me and continue to do so, regardless, in the future. But being chased? That's truly for good looking or known rich guys.
When a good looking or rich guy acts nonchalant, that's "intriguing." When an average or below average guy acts nonchalant, it's "creepy."
arent women more interested in emotions and emotional connection?
Normally good advice... if you're at least "decent" looking. Otherwise, I default to your previous post (where you have to be sitting on a ton of money, and showing (dressing, driving, etc.) you have it).
I've seen your pic, CPG... decent looking guy. But there are guys like me that will never turn heads. I've dressed nice, carried myself as well as possible, tried to educate myself, but I'm one who will NEVER be chased (if I was single, of course).
I will be me and continue to do so, regardless, in the future. But being chased? That's truly for good looking or known rich guys.
When a good looking or rich guy acts nonchalant, that's "intriguing." When an average or below average guy acts nonchalant, it's "creepy."
See, now I would key on your use of the words "average or below average." If you think you're average or below average, then the world will see you that way. If you think you're somebody special without being cocky about it, then the world will see you that way. I've known all kinds of "average" guys who always managed to meet great women, because they refused to think of themselves in that way.
Someone once told me that the person that held back in the relationship, the one who wore their heart on their sleeve at a lesser extent, the one who called less, etc, was the one with the power in the relationship as well.
I don't play power games, but I was always the more aloof generally, and I found it to be true.
But seriously, if you have to ask, then I don't know. Just be yourself. Yourself with some restraint. Don't hound, don't call to much, be too eager or too desparate. Pace yourself and only show feelings when they are truly there, not just if its lust or the excitability of something new.
I used to say the person who cares the least in a relationship has the most power. Once you're in love with someone, you realize a relationship is not about power but sharing and growing together.
so far there hasnt been really any advice/tips/step by step guide about how to make her chase you, or to be elusive and mysterious and to make yourself seem unattainable to her.
i dont want to play games, but it sounds intriguing to create an elusiveness and mystery. how do you do that? and what are some ways where you can actually make her chase you?
Be yourself, not a person who's playing games or being unauthentic. The right girl will love you as you are.
But, I will say, if the way you are right now is clingy and desperate, take some time and work on yourself so you can be the real you but the you who has evolved past being a needy and desperate person. Neediness comes from being insecure. Work on that and you won't need to play games or "act" to find someone. If you find someone by being unauthentic and playing something you're not, the relationship is based on falsehood anyway and is probably doomed to fail.
arent women more interested in emotions and emotional connection?
Yes.
Most of us that have grown up past the "dumb young heart-on-my-sleeve" teenager mode would much prefer a honest, modest, and real man as opposed to a cocky jerkbag who thinks its all a game.
For those of you who think you're "below average", I highly suggest checking out the book "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" by Neil Strauss.
so far there hasnt been really any advice/tips/step by step guide about how to make her chase you, or to be elusive and mysterious and to make yourself seem unattainable to her.
Okay. So once you start dating her, don't smother her with too many phone calls, texting and other mushy stuff. Relax and wait for her to call you up. Don't talk too long and too the point where you run out of new things to tell her. Do that George Costanza thing of leaving on a high note. In other words, she should enjoy your company and also have a chance to miss you. And don't be predictable or too nice to her. Don't spoil her with flowers and gifts. Don't remember every little anniversary either while you are courting her. Skip those monthly remembrances like oh wow, it's been exactly a month since we met etc...
So the mystery part is helped when you are a bit unpredictable and unreachable. Turn off your cellphone periodically so that you aren't always immediately available. Like keep it off when you are at work and driving. And make a point of keeping it off when you are on a date with her. And still flirt a little with other women. Don't cheat on her, but she'll like if she sees that other women like you and are friends with you. That way, she will feel lucky that she's the one you picked to go out with.
See, now I would key on your use of the words "average or below average." If you think you're average or below average, then the world will see you that way. If you think you're somebody special without being cocky about it, then the world will see you that way. I've known all kinds of "average" guys who always managed to meet great women, because they refused to think of themselves in that way.
Oh.. I agree. Don't get me wrong. I'm very confident (possibly bordering on cocky), but I know I'm not much to look at. Not much I can do unless I had a ton of money for plastic surgery. We need to make sure we're not mixing up a lack of confidence with realism for physical attractiveness.
I know the argument will be made that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and I fully agree in that statement. But there is a general consensus (in a broad way) of what is good looking and what isn't. George Clooney is good looking, the guy at the bottom of the page (from the other thread) isn't. Kate Beckinsale is good looking, Madeline Albright isn't. And although they may be married, and the person whom they are with is satisfied, regardless how much "confidence and mystique" they carry themselves with, they won't be approached as much as the former names in the sentences in the general public. Just look at the responses in the thread: Question For The Women Here, Would You Date/Marry This Guy If He Was Making Over $250,000 A Year?
I'm always a proponent of being yourself... because sooner or later you will have to take off your "mask" if you aren't. But there's a reality to life that we can't pretend doesn't exist, just to be politically correct.
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