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My husband and I are discussing if or when to have children. I was horrified to learn that IF we do have kids he wants to be in the DELIVERY ROOM when they are born. I have heard dozens of guys (when not with their wives) say what a terrible experience that was. They always preface it with "It was a miracle to see my son/daughter born" BUT it was really gross, freaked me out, and I will never look at my wife the same again. I always thought if we had kids the men would be off somewhere smoking cigars and drinking Scotch in a Sports bar near the hospital while my Mom and MIL took care me during the actual giving birth part. Yeah we are married but there are a lot of things I don't do in front of him. Wouldn't it be less traumatic for everyone to have him come in once the baby and I are all cleaned up and not so scary? I am interested in the relationship aspect of this and how it affects the guys. Opinions from both sexes would be appreciated.
Well I for one think it is very awesome...to think a baby starts at at a cellular level, with just a sperm and an egg, then grows, and out comes this tiny human...all from within a womans body. It's a miracle fer sher. I was there for both my boys deliveries. Cut the cords and everything. And it was a very humbling experience to look into their tiny eyes within a minute of being born. Perhaps a squeamish guy could not take it. Blood and guts does not bother me one bit. So childbirth was a peice of cake. For me anyway. My Dad hung out in the waiting room for 5 kids. I helped deliver both mine. Wonder what my kids will do.
I think men need to BUTCH up, if they can be there to create a baby then they NEED to be there when the baby is born...maybe it would help some of them to understand the sacrifice and pain women go through to bring their children into the world.
My ex was in the delivery room for my daughter's birth, it didn't change the way he felt about me or anthing like that. I think the intimacy would grow with an experience like that.
clawson, when it was my sons time to enter the world, his mothers cervix would not open, even tho she was having contractions, so they had to do a c-section,,,the woman dr. took me aside and said "i will only allow you in to view, if you think you can handle it" i chuckled and said it cant be any worse than guttin, a moose, well she was stoned face, then laughed and said, she had never heard that in 25 yrs being a dr.
i watched the whole thing, from slitting the skin open,,to bringing the baby out, i could see all her innards,,,she was conscious, ,and remember saying,,,hey hon, i can see your liver...lol
also seen natural childbirth,,,either way its a magical moment,,i wouldnt miss it for the world!!
clawson, when it was my sons time to enter the world, his mothers cervix would not open, even tho she was having contractions, so they had to do a c-section,,,the woman dr. took me aside and said "i will only allow you in to view, if you think you can handle it" i chuckled and said it cant be any worse than guttin, a moose, well she was stoned face, then laughed and said, she had never heard that in 25 yrs being a dr.
i watched the whole thing, from slitting the skin open,,to bringing the baby out, i could see all her innards,,,she was conscious, ,and remember saying,,,hey hon, i can see your liver...lol
also seen natural childbirth,,,either way its a magical moment,,i wouldnt miss it for the world!!
I think the intimacy would grow with an experience like that.
Yes, this is what I am thinking. This is ideal for me as well. I definitely would want him to be there. I'd figure that he would too and would feel regretful missing out on the birth of his child because it's a very special and unique moment that you won't get a chance to see live again (even if you give birth to another child).
"It was a miracle to see my son/daughter born" BUT it was really gross, freaked me out, and I will never look at my wife the same again. I always thought if we had kids the men would be off somewhere smoking cigars and drinking Scotch in a Sports bar near the hospital while my Mom and MIL took care me during the actual giving birth part.
Clawson: This is just too cute! The part about smoking cigars and drinking scotch! I love it!
I think it really depends on your husband and what he really wants to do...I have also heard MANY guys comment (in front of their wives) about how they felt the labor/delivery was both "horrifying" as well as "beautiful." --I guess the question ultimately comes down to: Does the beauty and the experience of that outweigh the down side in being there?" In my own case, my husband had been a medic at one time in his life, so he was probably less grossed out than I was by the whole process!
One part that you also need to consider is that fact that most guys find it REALLY DIFFICULT to see someone they love in so much pain....They tend to feel rather useless, (and honestly, they pretty much are at that point!) and very helpless...But it all comes down to the guy's emotional constitution....I have also known women who asked their best friends or mothers to be the ones in the delivery room, as opposed to their husbands. Alot has to do with who you would feel most comfortable being there too, you know!
If you and your husband attend childbirth classes, that will give you both a "preview" of what is ahead, but then again, it's hard to know what the real experience is like until you're in the moment!
IF your husband wants to be there, and IF you want him/are comfortable with him there, then I say "Go for it!" --He can always leave the room, (or pass out) if it becomes too much to handle.
--But if he manages to stay, ah! --The beauty of actually seeing one's child come into this world....Now THAT is the definition of "wonder" and "joy!"
Like Mainebrokerman my husband has seen my model of the solar system! Our daughter was delivered via cesarean. During my pregnancy I had my husband attend every check up, lamaze and he stayed the week with me, then us, in the hospital. They let him have the second bed in a two bed room and we were parents with training wheels! They only asked that he shower and eat at home. Worked out terrifically. I can recall being very conscious of his feelings and wanted to make sure he felt included. It was a special time for the both of us. Last thing, I was old enough to need to do a amnio and we eventually were able to learn the sex of our baby. We asked the nurse to not tell us and to put the info on a post it inside an envelope. Then we picked a night to go out to dinner and opened the envelope together. It was so great to celebrate our baby and to know who we were waiting for.
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I have heard dozens of guys (when not with their wives) say what a terrible experience that was. They always preface it with "It was a miracle to see my son/daughter born" BUT it was really gross, freaked me out, and I will never look at my wife the same again. I always thought if we had kids the men would be off somewhere smoking cigars and drinking Scotch in a Sports bar near the hospital while my Mom and MIL took care me during the actual giving birth part. Yeah we are married but there are a lot of things I don't do in front of him. 
Wouldn't it be less traumatic for everyone to have him come in once the baby and I are all cleaned up and not so scary? I am interested in the relationship aspect of this and how it affects the guys. Opinions from both sexes would be appreciated. 
