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Credit card declined? What, he only has one credit card and/or it's maxed out? Ick. I wouldn't date someone who used credit cards for credit.
I've had my credit card declined in a restaurant b/c the company was worried about fraud b/c of a big purchase I made, but that's when I whipped out my back-ups. Back-ups b/c my fave card isn't taken everywhere.
My only problem with 'forgot my wallet' is that it reeks of the flakey. But everyone makes mistakes. I've accidentally left my wallet/license at home, too. I'd watch for a pattern, though.
I'm just an old fashion girl. If a man asks me out for dinner, I assume he is paying for it. I have my own money and can go dutch, but you sound like a cheap bastard and I'm sure in the long run you want someone taking care of you. You may find a girl with low self esteem and she will love taking care of you like your mother once did. If a man can't take me to dinner and he makes a big deal out of it. Honey the door can hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
Credit card declined? What, he only has one credit card and/or it's maxed out? Ick. I wouldn't date someone who used credit cards for credit.
I've had my credit card declined in a restaurant b/c the company was worried about fraud b/c of a big purchase I made, but that's when I whipped out my back-ups. Back-ups my fave card isn't taken everywhere.
My only problem with 'forgot my wallet' is that it reeks of the flakey. But everyone makes mistakes. I'd watch for a pattern, though.
I only have one credit card, and so does my DH. We do have debit cards though, so I can understand the back up - but we both believe in having as few cards as possible, so I still wouldn't rush to judgement if it happened once.
Maybe I am just more forgiving than most of you guys. I don't know.
I'm just an old fashion girl. If a man asks me out for dinner, I assume he is paying for it. I have my own money and can go dutch, but you sound like a cheap bastard and I'm sure in the long run you want someone taking care of you. You may find a girl with low self esteem and she will love taking care of you like your mother once did. If a man can't take me to dinner and he makes a big deal out of it. Honey the door can hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
So do you ever ask the guy out? Or do you also expect him to 'be the man' and pursue you and ask you out on every date..... and therefore be expected to pay for every date too?
Ugh, maybe it's because I'm not from here, but that just sounds so..... tacky to me.
I don't expect the man to make a big deal out of it either, and that would be a huge turn off. I just expect to offer to pay once in a while, or go Dutch, or pay for other things; tips/ bar bill/ cinema, etc.
I am not looking for a Daddy figure - I want an equal partner. Someone who spoils me sometimes, and who I get to spoil sometimes. Give AND take. Not all take.
I would pay and give his ass the side eye and lose his number.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
I got used to it being that way in Australia and New Zealand. After making some fumbles with it as down there under their whole "fairness" concept they have in their culture, it's offensive for a man to pay her share and especially to insist on paying. After talking with some people about it, I guess the reasoning is that if a man pays for the woman she "owes" the man something all under the guise of "being fair".
After doing that for seven years going back to dating American women has not been fun, because many, not all, but many expect to be able to gorge themselves at my expense. I don't feel it's fair, so I've had a hard time adjusting and now am sitting on the dating sidelines and I'm not going out anymore. I think it's an indicator of the future relationship if I'm paying for everything from the get go, as it seems as I go on more dates with the same woman the expectation is that I will continue to pay for everything. I'm not going to do that, so I'm done for now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
Admittedly I did have a time period that I became disillusioned and jaded about dating. Without going into details that time came and went and actually I feel better than I ever have. Life is good overall. I enjoy being single and right now don't have any pressure or desire to date anymore. I took my match.com profile down, I have turned down offers and I stopped asking anyone out.
I look at relationships from an equitable and fair viewpoint. If I am the one who always has to call, or set up a date, always pay, always make the effort, then where is the relationship? I'd just rather go dutch and if they want to blow their trumpet and turn heel and storm off, I'm okay with that.
I do understand your viewpoint about chivalry and the man paying for the first date. I've been there and done that many times, however it never worked in my favor. You say "We love to do things because we feel like it, not because we feel we must", well guess what I don't feel any different and I suspect many men don't feel any different either. I don't want to feel obligated or mandated that I have to pay for the first date. If I pay it should be my good will, not because women demand it. I'm tired of the entitlement attitudes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen
So do you ever ask the guy out? Or do you also expect him to 'be the man' and pursue you and ask you out on every date..... and therefore be expected to pay for every date too? I have never asked a man on a date.
Ugh, maybe it's because I'm not from here, but that just sounds so..... tacky to me. Only to you
I don't expect the man to make a big deal out of it either, and that would be a huge turn off. I just expect to offer to pay once in a while, or go Dutch, or pay for other things; tips/ bar bill/ cinema, etc. If the man asks me out, He's paying.
I am not looking for a Daddy figure - I want an equal partner. Someone who spoils me sometimes, and who I get to spoil sometimes. Give AND take. Not all take.
Ok, then. Well as a woman myself who likes to BE spoiled AS WELL AS spoil my husband (yes I am married, so don't have to worry about dating), I am a woman hater??
You may want to read more of the thread before making foolish comments.
Just a suggestion.
Ok, then. Well as a woman myself who likes to BE spoiled AS WELL AS spoil my husband (yes I am married, so don't have to worry about dating), I am a woman hater??
You may want to read more of the thread before making foolish comments.
Just a suggestion.
You're funny, You assume I was responding to you, therefore it would be you that needs to find out who you are responding to. I was not calling you a woman hater dear. perhaps you need to know how to follow a conversation. I think you just want to argue. But thanks for you input anyways...
You're funny, You assume I was responding to you, therefore it would be you that needs to find out who you are responding to. I was not calling you a woman hater dear. perhaps you need to know how to follow a conversation. I think you just want to argue. But thanks for you input anyways...
Well I did ask who that comment was aimed at, so it seemed a fair assumption.
And your next response had a ton of different things in it, none of which were particularly easy to understand.
A tip; if you multiple quote, put your responses either in bold or below the quote box. That way people know what response is yours.
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