Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As someone who was abused in a past relationship, sometimes we just want to talk about it, we have to get it out, and we don't feel comfortable talking about with a professional, so we go to our trusted friends. Yes, we know that some of our friends will want to beat the abuser to a pulp, but the last thing we need on our conscious is more violence. So just be there for her, but don't confront the guy, respect her wishes.
I'd hope that she would go to the authorities and make him pay, because abusers are scum and should pay, but she may be just trying to move on with her life and the thought of getting the police involved and having to prove that he abused her (in many cases the burden of proof is on the victim...the abuse is after innocent until her is proven and convicted) may be more than she can emotionally handle.
So, just be her friend right now and do what she needs you to do.
I'm going to ask you to listen very hard for this sentance coming out of her mouth....
"I didn't ask you to", "I didn't tell you to", "I didn't tell you so you'd.."
If I knew you were a hot head, I'd stop goading you, knowing how you feel that you want to shine up your armor and go get some windmills. I'd in fact, try to keep you away.
If you find her saying this to you about anything you do for her....RUN
The other concern is you mention her interveining between you two, ALL THREE hang out somewhere don't you? School, or a nightclub? This is how shootings happen...BABY MOMA DRAMA!
You are a person who falls for manipulation and she uses it. You're not describing her as YOUR girlfriend, but instead, your best friend. But you're in love with her, aren't you? And this is how you'll prove yourself to her, isn't it!
When you do something nice for a normal person...they say thanks! When ou do something nice(OR IN THIS CASE, NOBLE, JUST) for a manipulator the first thing they think of to say always is ...I didn't ask you to.
I was. I was physically abused by my ex boyfriend. After I have done with that horrible relationship, I forced myself not to think about revenge and concentrate on my study. One of my friend who is a counselor gave me mental support and I walked through it with less pain.
I think your friend is right, let it go now. Revenge is not a good choice and wont help a little.
I'm going to ask you to listen very hard for this sentance coming out of her mouth....
"I didn't ask you to", "I didn't tell you to", "I didn't tell you so you'd.."
If I knew you were a hot head, I'd stop goading you, knowing how you feel that you want to shine up your armor and go get some windmills. I'd in fact, try to keep you away.
If you find her saying this to you about anything you do for her....RUN
The other concern is you mention her interveining between you two, ALL THREE hang out somewhere don't you? School, or a nightclub? This is how shootings happen...BABY MOMA DRAMA!
You are a person who falls for manipulation and she uses it. You're not describing her as YOUR girlfriend, but instead, your best friend. But you're in love with her, aren't you? And this is how you'll prove yourself to her, isn't it!
When you do something nice for a normal person...they say thanks! When ou do something nice(OR IN THIS CASE, NOBLE, JUST) for a manipulator the first thing they think of to say always is ...I didn't ask you to.
Your gf SHOULD HAVE reported him to the police when he did it. She decided to let it slide, so you should too.
I don't agree with others who say she's goading you on. She needs to talk about it to get over it, that's all. Let her talk; hold her, console her. Beating him up and getting tossed into jail won't do anyone any good -- not him, not her, not you.
Yes, I've dated women who were abused, and I've wanted to hurt the abuser, but it was over. Too late. Let it go and let her heal.
Almost every girl I've been with has been in an abusive relationship. I can't stress it enough, women love jerks. That is why I don't get into any serious relationships anymore. Women will say they want this or that but when push comes to shove they bang the jerks. Every guy out there, stop being the nice guy. It doesn't work. Being a jerk is what works!
I was. I was physically abused by my ex boyfriend. After I have done with that horrible relationship, I forced myself not to think about revenge and concentrate on my study. One of my friend who is a counselor gave me mental support and I walked through it with less pain.
I think your friend is right, let it go now. Revenge is not a good choice and wont help a little.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmyPoohFan317
As someone who was abused in a past relationship, sometimes we just want to talk about it, we have to get it out, and we don't feel comfortable talking about with a professional, so we go to our trusted friends. Yes, we know that some of our friends will want to beat the abuser to a pulp, but the last thing we need on our conscious is more violence. So just be there for her, but don't confront the guy, respect her wishes.
I'd hope that she would go to the authorities and make him pay, because abusers are scum and should pay, but she may be just trying to move on with her life and the thought of getting the police involved and having to prove that he abused her (in many cases the burden of proof is on the victim...the abuse is after innocent until her is proven and convicted) may be more than she can emotionally handle.
So, just be her friend right now and do what she needs you to do.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
